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is it ok to see other people if your separated? SPIN OFF of mom confessions post

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Poll

Question: is it ok to see other people if your separated?

Options:

yes

no

only as long as your not living together

other


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 129

View Results


The month of May is the Nerofibromatosis awarness month. 

One of the major signs are cafe au lait spots (flat brown spots on the skin).

Please research this disorder! 

I have this disorder myself.

by on May. 3, 2012 at 11:19 PM
Replies (91-100):
Liyoness
by on May. 4, 2012 at 7:10 PM

How have I judged you harshly?

Quoting christi34:

I never said I was trying to replace anyone 1. I'm not looking 2. I am so through with his ass 3. did i say i wasn't looking for anyone else or him. I know what happened. He didn't like the fact that I had a mind of my own and he couldn't control me like he could. I am happy being by myself. I get to find out who I am now and not be bothered by some controlling asshole. I met him when I was 18 and I was at a low place in my life. I had just lost my grandmother and moved out of the family home and ended up pregnant with my first child with him. So basically I was with him for the last 17 years. Its hard to just get over someone in a couple of days. He only filed for divorce in January of this year. It takes time. But I basically hate this man. As for moving on with myself, well I have going to counseling and doing things with my two boys but I keep thinking about my daughters. I'm sorry you can't get how I feel. That's on you. But you shouldn't be so harsh to judge someone else.

Quoting Liyoness:

You're obviously not over this man. How can you possibly move on with a new one until you figure out a) what went wrong in your last relationship b) why you picked someone like that and c) how to move on with your life without him? Replacing him with another man isn't going to help you find yourself.

Quoting christi34:

How is two wrongs when its the husband that's doing the cheating/leaving? I haven't even so much looked at another man but he was seeing someone else while still sleeping/living with me (the wife of 13 years). Then lied about the woman when I found out about her. Even took my kids around this bitch. Yeah I called her that cause she knew he was married. I don't have any symphathy for him or her. If he was that miserable why not just leave, he can't survive on his own. He always gotta have a woman doing something for him. Now he has my daughters beliving his shit (they are 16 and 12). He let's them what they want to do. He even put them on BC without my permission. Telling them that its okay for a married man to cheat on his wife. He's brainwashing them and I can't do anything to stop it. I'm glad my boys aren't going through that (they live with me).

Quoting Mrs.Tirado:

Yea but two wrongs don't make a right.




Quoting christi34:

I feel the same way but what if one of the spouses was already seeing someone else before the separation even occured and lied about being with this other woman and only claims to be friends with this woman but everytime you let your son spend the night the son always comes home to tell you that this other woman also spend the night. That is not a friend. Cheating bastard and the divorce hasn't even been seen by the judge yet.


Goes to show he has no respect for women in general.






Quoting FooLynRoo:

I just don't understand how you can commit your LIFE to someone - and the moment they leave or you leave you're READY to date another person.

Doesn't that marriage commitment mean something - even if the marriage fell apart - isn't there A grieving period, isn't it a time to focus on yourself, and getting your children adjusted to the new circumstances.

You can wait until those papers go through.






boysmom5
by on May. 4, 2012 at 7:13 PM
If the emotional part of a marriage is over the rest is simply a contract. A divorce legally voids the marriage contract and sets up a new contract (in cases where there are children involved). Circumstances in my first marriage caused me to end the emotional part of it before the legal part of it. Those circumstances allowed me to move on without guilt.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
christi34
by on May. 4, 2012 at 7:13 PM

I apologize for misinterpreting what you mean.

Quoting Liyoness:

How have I judged you harshly?

Quoting christi34:

I never said I was trying to replace anyone 1. I'm not looking 2. I am so through with his ass 3. did i say i wasn't looking for anyone else or him. I know what happened. He didn't like the fact that I had a mind of my own and he couldn't control me like he could. I am happy being by myself. I get to find out who I am now and not be bothered by some controlling asshole. I met him when I was 18 and I was at a low place in my life. I had just lost my grandmother and moved out of the family home and ended up pregnant with my first child with him. So basically I was with him for the last 17 years. Its hard to just get over someone in a couple of days. He only filed for divorce in January of this year. It takes time. But I basically hate this man. As for moving on with myself, well I have going to counseling and doing things with my two boys but I keep thinking about my daughters. I'm sorry you can't get how I feel. That's on you. But you shouldn't be so harsh to judge someone else.

Quoting Liyoness:

You're obviously not over this man. How can you possibly move on with a new one until you figure out a) what went wrong in your last relationship b) why you picked someone like that and c) how to move on with your life without him? Replacing him with another man isn't going to help you find yourself.

Quoting christi34:

How is two wrongs when its the husband that's doing the cheating/leaving? I haven't even so much looked at another man but he was seeing someone else while still sleeping/living with me (the wife of 13 years). Then lied about the woman when I found out about her. Even took my kids around this bitch. Yeah I called her that cause she knew he was married. I don't have any symphathy for him or her. If he was that miserable why not just leave, he can't survive on his own. He always gotta have a woman doing something for him. Now he has my daughters beliving his shit (they are 16 and 12). He let's them what they want to do. He even put them on BC without my permission. Telling them that its okay for a married man to cheat on his wife. He's brainwashing them and I can't do anything to stop it. I'm glad my boys aren't going through that (they live with me).

Quoting Mrs.Tirado:

Yea but two wrongs don't make a right.




Quoting christi34:

I feel the same way but what if one of the spouses was already seeing someone else before the separation even occured and lied about being with this other woman and only claims to be friends with this woman but everytime you let your son spend the night the son always comes home to tell you that this other woman also spend the night. That is not a friend. Cheating bastard and the divorce hasn't even been seen by the judge yet.


Goes to show he has no respect for women in general.






Quoting FooLynRoo:

I just don't understand how you can commit your LIFE to someone - and the moment they leave or you leave you're READY to date another person.

Doesn't that marriage commitment mean something - even if the marriage fell apart - isn't there A grieving period, isn't it a time to focus on yourself, and getting your children adjusted to the new circumstances.

You can wait until those papers go through.







amyrw
by on May. 4, 2012 at 7:16 PM
1 mom liked this
High school sweethearts married at 17. Why does it matter to you? All you're going to do is judge him bc he moved on from a toxic relationship. I bet if it was reversed and he was cheating on her you'd have no issue with her moving on. And don't forget, she cheated and immediately after he left she had her boyfriend move in. Why can't he start dating 6 months after they split but she can before he had even moved out.

Quoting Liyoness:

You can't make a ho a housewife.

Why'd he marry a whore in the first place?


Quoting amyrw:

Maybe his marriage would've lasted if the bitch wasn't a whore.
Quoting Liyoness:

Maybe his divorce would have gone through more quickly if he hadn't been so quick to get his dick wet again.


Quoting amyrw:

My dh's ex wife refused to sign divorce papers. It took him having to repeatedly take her to court and after 4 years a judge finally forced her to sign the papers. She did it to be a vindictive bitch. She cheated on him, why should he hold up his vowels when she broke hers, over and over until he caught her? He and I started seeing each other 6 months after he moved out of their house. She immediately moved her boy toy in with her. Yet she still wouldn't go through with the divorce bc she knew about me. The first words I ever heard this woman speak were "if all I do in my life is make your life miserable then I believe I will have had a happy life". They were over long before he left, he didn't need time to get over her because by then he loathed her.




Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mazie0723
by Platinum Member on May. 4, 2012 at 7:18 PM


Quoting FooLynRoo:

I just don't understand how you can commit your LIFE to someone - and the moment they leave or you leave you're READY to date another person.

Doesn't that marriage commitment mean something - even if the marriage fell apart - isn't there A grieving period, isn't it a time to focus on yourself, and getting your children adjusted to the new circumstances.

You can wait until those papers go through.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
dbush0584
by on May. 4, 2012 at 7:20 PM
My bf is going through a divorce...
The only reason it's not done yet is because of custody. So I say yes
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Venae
by on May. 4, 2012 at 7:23 PM
1 mom liked this

No - you're still married.  While going through divorce had to refer to my "husband's fiancee" - in court anyway - usually she was just called the whore.  And still is.

soon2bemomof307
by on May. 4, 2012 at 7:24 PM
Yes. The marriage is pretty much over. Plus divorces can take years.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Liyoness
by on May. 4, 2012 at 7:25 PM
1 mom liked this

He chose a toxic relationship. He chose to make it more toxic. 

Playing the "waaaa, she did it, why can't he?" game is childish. You're calling her names for cheating on him - and yet, he cheated on her, too. Every name you throw at her describes your husband, too. That's why you wait until a divorce is finalized. You can't pretend to be the bigger person while doing the same thing as the person you're leaving.

No, if things were reversed, I would not feel any differently. I don't understand why people invite drama into their lives.

Quoting amyrw:

High school sweethearts married at 17. Why does it matter to you? All you're going to do is judge him bc he moved on from a toxic relationship. I bet if it was reversed and he was cheating on her you'd have no issue with her moving on. And don't forget, she cheated and immediately after he left she had her boyfriend move in. Why can't he start dating 6 months after they split but she can before he had even moved out.

Quoting Liyoness:

You can't make a ho a housewife.

Why'd he marry a whore in the first place?


Quoting amyrw:

Maybe his marriage would've lasted if the bitch wasn't a whore.
Quoting Liyoness:

Maybe his divorce would have gone through more quickly if he hadn't been so quick to get his dick wet again.


Quoting amyrw:

My dh's ex wife refused to sign divorce papers. It took him having to repeatedly take her to court and after 4 years a judge finally forced her to sign the papers. She did it to be a vindictive bitch. She cheated on him, why should he hold up his vowels when she broke hers, over and over until he caught her? He and I started seeing each other 6 months after he moved out of their house. She immediately moved her boy toy in with her. Yet she still wouldn't go through with the divorce bc she knew about me. The first words I ever heard this woman speak were "if all I do in my life is make your life miserable then I believe I will have had a happy life". They were over long before he left, he didn't need time to get over her because by then he loathed her.





jas_momof2
by on May. 4, 2012 at 7:27 PM

separation is not divorce...  Unless divorce proceeding have been started, but then that's different...

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