SOOOO MAD, XH picked DS up from daycare - Update
The relationship between my XH and I is almost like a rollar coaster. We are either getting along so well we are practically best friends, or we barely speak during drop offs and pick ups. Most of this depends on the relationship he is in and how good of a Dad he is being. What I mean by this, is when he is being a responsible parent I tend to be more patient and friendly with him. I allow him to have non scheduled visitation and allow him to pick him up hours early. But when he is being irresponsible, I have less patience. For example, last weekend when he had DS during his normal visitation, he we out and partied instead of spending time with DS so when he asked if he could have him one day during the week (he does not have week day visitation) I told him that he should have spent time with him during the weekend. One of the reasons I was so mad, was because my ex left DS with his grandparents and they put him back in pull-ups when he had been in only underwear.
So my EX was suppose to bring me a child support check yesterday. When I talked to him around lunchtime he asked if he could have DS for the evening. I told him that he could take him to dinner or the park, but I did not want him to leave the city that I live in (my ex lives about 30 minutes away) because it was bath night and he wouldn't have time to take him all the way from my house to his house. So he could have him from 5:30 until about 7:30. He asked if he could just pick him up from daycare around 1ish so he could have more time with him. I told him no, that he can have him once I get off. His class at school was going to watch their caterpillars come out of their cocoons and become butterflies and I didn't want DS to miss it, because that is all he has been talking about for weeks!
When I got off work, I went to pick up DS from school and he wasn't there. My heart dropped.It is the most terrifying feeling when you don't know where your child is, even if it is just for a few seconds.
I am so livid with my ex. I just can't believe he would do that. He also thought it was no big deal, because he gave DS a bath, so he wasn't messing up his schedule. He has done a lot of messed up things and made some pretty poor decisions lately, but this is the last straw.
I am consulting a family law attorney today. First I am going to make sure that I can in fact take my ex off the pick up list at daycare. Which I believe I can, because visitation doesn't even start until after the daycare closes. It also specifically says in our custody papers, that my ex is to pick DS up from my house. I am also through being lenient. We are going to follow the divorce papers to the t.
I have had it up to my eye balls with his games. He can't just pick and choose when he wants to be a Dad and just do whatever he wants. There as just been so much going on lately, but this is the last straw.
Sorry this is the first time I have gotten on here since last week. We had an overwhelming weekend. So this actually a two part update.
Part one: Yesterday morning I had a meeting with an attorney. I didn't meet with the same attorney who did my divorce, because she is running for probate judge. Instead I met with an attorney that is friends with my boss. We talked for about 2 1/2 hours. We talked about all the issues going on with my ex and we came up with several solutions. One being that we get a court order to modify (NOT take away) my ex custody. Also to solve issues in other areas, we are going to take away overnight visits, at least temporarily. My Ex's reckless lifestyle as landed him with a life threatening disease. (I posted about this a few weeks ago) This raises concern for my son's wellbeing while in his care. My attorney believes that we have enough evidence to temporarily amend the custody papers.
After the meeting with my new attorney, I met with the daycare. With our divorce papers alone, they cannot refuse my ex from picking up DS. But they can put a system in place where they call me if my ex tries to pick DS up. This is just temporary until I obtain a court order.
Part two: I also talked to my former ILs over the weekend...and I swear they don't know when to keep their mouths shut (espcially when they have been drinking). My former MIL, was trying to convince me to let DS come over to her house for part of the day on Mother's Day, because it would just make her Mother's Day perfect. (insert puke face). But then she went on to thank me for allowing DS to come over last Thursday for their neighborhood Cinco De Mayo party (I guess they had it Thursday because you can't buy booze on Sunday? IDK). She said that she enjoyed showing off her grandson while my ex and his fiance were at the dirt track. She apologized for my ex bringing DS home after bedtime, but the race that my ex and his fiance went to ran later than expected. So all and all, my ex picked up DS from daycare so his PARENTS could show him off to their friends.