Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

In need of advice..... Relationship related

Posted by   + Show Post
In February this year, my fiancé and I split up after almost 3 years together. We have 2 children together and when our second child, Tyler, was just 10 days old back in September, my fiancé, Aron, slept with another girl. When I found out in February I broke off our relationship and kicked him out. He is in a new relationship and we only ever talk when arranging his days to have our daughter and son.

Recently, I have been in contact with the guy I was with before Aron. We've become really close again and he's told me he regrets ever having let me to and how he wishes he could correct it all. I feel like I'm falling for him again - but I wander if it's just that he's there for me and I've interpretated his signals wrongly.

My question is, do you think it's too soon for me to consider a new relationship? Should I tell him how I'm feeling? Do you think in treading in dangerous territory?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on May. 4, 2012 at 5:07 PM
Replies (61-70):
NatashaOlivia
by on May. 5, 2012 at 2:15 PM
I don't expect it to be the same. If we try again it's a new relationship not an old one patched up.

Quoting Shaynas_Mommy:

 There's your answer. Try it if you want, but don't expect the relationship to be the same as it was when you were 16.


Quoting NatashaOlivia:

I'm 20 at the end of the month. I've definitely changed a lot


Quoting Shaynas_Mommy:


 How old are you now? I'm willing to bet you have changed a lot since you were 16. I had a BF at 16 that I thought I was going to be with forever, and we broke-up on mutual terms because he was also moving away. We swore we'd get back together one day. Now I'm 30 and married to a different man. Things change, especially when you are 16.



Quoting NatashaOlivia:

He's an ex because he had to move away for 6-8 months for work when I was 16. I Didn't want to be with someone I wasn't going to see for that long. Nothing bad hapoened between us



Quoting Shaynas_Mommy:



 I wouldn't do it. He's an ex for a reason. Been there, done that, and got the t-shirt.



 


 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
NatashaOlivia
by on May. 5, 2012 at 2:17 PM
A) my kids are my only priority

B) this is not to prove anything to their Dad... We text once a week to arrange what time I drop the kids off


Quoting boys2men2soon:


Quoting NatashaOlivia:

I didn't say if was about him I'm just making a point.



Quoting boys2men2soon:


Quoting NatashaOlivia:

But it's alright for him to leave his fiancé and 2 young children and be in a new relationship?





Quoting boys2men2soon:

Personally, yes.  I think it is very soon.   You were with a guy (Aron) for only 3 years and already have 2 children together.   That was pretty darn quick.     Now, you are a single Mom of two babies... you have only been single 3 months.    I think you need to focus on your children and your future before getting into another relationship.   Just my opinion.

  I didn't realize this was about him,  but I was wrong.  Your response speaks volumes.  

So was I.   It should not be about your ex...at all.     I thought it was about if you should venture into a new relationship.  I gave my opinion.    Your response implies an attitude of what is good for the goose is good for the gander.     In my opinion, jumping from one relationship to another is not a good idea, especially when it involves young children.       Your focus needs to be on your kids and the life you will make for the three of you, at this point.   Not whether you can prove to your ex that you have moved on like he has.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Shaynas_Mommy
by Country Sweetheart on May. 5, 2012 at 2:22 PM

 It sounds to me like you already know what you want to do. I would stay single for a while though. I spent my teenage years to early 20's jumping from one relationship to another. I wanted that seriousness very young. If I could go back to those years, and kick myself in the ass I would. I should have embraced being single in between relationships, and given myself proper time to heal. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Quoting NatashaOlivia:

I don't expect it to be the same. If we try again it's a new relationship not an old one patched up.

Quoting Shaynas_Mommy:

 There's your answer. Try it if you want, but don't expect the relationship to be the same as it was when you were 16.


Quoting NatashaOlivia:

I'm 20 at the end of the month. I've definitely changed a lot


.Diddles.
by on May. 5, 2012 at 2:27 PM

In my opinion, it is too soon for you to jump back into a relationship. Especially a relationship that did not last. Take time to heal, grieve, and get your life back on track by yourself. Keep him as a friend and if he can wait for you to be ready then maybe it is ok to try out the relationship.

NatashaOlivia
by on May. 5, 2012 at 2:53 PM
I haven't said I'm gonna jump into a relationship

Quoting .Diddles.:

In my opinion, it is too soon for you to jump back into a relationship. Especially a relationship that did not last. Take time to heal, grieve, and get your life back on track by yourself. Keep him as a friend and if he can wait for you to be ready then maybe it is ok to try out the relationship.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
NatashaOlivia
by on May. 5, 2012 at 2:54 PM
I'm not jumping from relationship to relationship.

Quoting Shaynas_Mommy:

 It sounds to me like you already know what you want to do. I would stay single for a while though. I spent my teenage years to early 20's jumping from one relationship to another. I wanted that seriousness very young. If I could go back to those years, and kick myself in the ass I would. I should have embraced being single in between relationships, and given myself proper time to heal. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.


Quoting NatashaOlivia:

I don't expect it to be the same. If we try again it's a new relationship not an old one patched up.


Quoting Shaynas_Mommy:


 There's your answer. Try it if you want, but don't expect the relationship to be the same as it was when you were 16.



Quoting NatashaOlivia:

I'm 20 at the end of the month. I've definitely changed a lot


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
.Diddles.
by on May. 5, 2012 at 2:57 PM

Considering, jumping, same difference. You get my point. 

Quoting NatashaOlivia:

I haven't said I'm gonna jump into a relationship

Quoting .Diddles.:

In my opinion, it is too soon for you to jump back into a relationship. Especially a relationship that did not last. Take time to heal, grieve, and get your life back on track by yourself. Keep him as a friend and if he can wait for you to be ready then maybe it is ok to try out the relationship.


Shaynas_Mommy
by Country Sweetheart on May. 5, 2012 at 2:58 PM

 I don't recall ever saying you were. I said that *I* did that. I advised you to stay single for a while and not jump into another relationship, and give yourself time to heal. You asked for advice, and that is what I gave you. You seem very defensive to me. Like I said, good luck with whatever you decide.

Quoting NatashaOlivia:

I'm not jumping from relationship to relationship.

Quoting Shaynas_Mommy:

 It sounds to me like you already know what you want to do. I would stay single for a while though. I spent my teenage years to early 20's jumping from one relationship to another. I wanted that seriousness very young. If I could go back to those years, and kick myself in the ass I would. I should have embraced being single in between relationships, and given myself proper time to heal. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.


Quoting NatashaOlivia:

I don't expect it to be the same. If we try again it's a new relationship not an old one patched up.


Quoting Shaynas_Mommy:


 There's your answer. Try it if you want, but don't expect the relationship to be the same as it was when you were 16.



Quoting NatashaOlivia:

I'm 20 at the end of the month. I've definitely changed a lot


 

grey7399
by on May. 5, 2012 at 2:59 PM

wait a couple of years.  Keep the guy around as a friend.

THREE months ago you were IN LOVE.  You are not in love now and aren't ready for a relationship.  Your ex is just interested in convenient sex.  Do not take him back.

NatashaOlivia
by on May. 5, 2012 at 3:08 PM
Wow so you can read his mind? Surely if he just wanted convenience sex he would have tried already when I've been vulnerable? I'm not going to sleep with him anytime soon anyway

Quoting grey7399:

wait a couple of years.  Keep the guy around as a friend.

THREE months ago you were IN LOVE.  You are not in love now and aren't ready for a relationship.  Your ex is just interested in convenient sex.  Do not take him back.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)