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 Well, I know there is a bit of a stigma that goes with having STDs and still being able to go out there and date, but is it really dealbreaker? Shouldn't that person be able to love someone and the receive love for who they are and not what they have? I have genital herpes and I didn't find out til after I was married. Guess you can say by then (since I found out during pregnancy) that it was "too late", but I really honestly never knew that I  had it till then. Hubby loves me still and we deal with it the best way we can. But had I known previous to marriage, I wonder what would've come of it had I told him then....truth is, a high precentage of Americans here have some sort of std, and many of them have herpes, hpv, and even HIV.

Is it a dealbreaker for you? What if you are with the guy and you already love him, he was honest about it...would you still love him and be there?

by on May. 4, 2012 at 10:12 PM
Replies (41-50):
IncognitoOne
by Angela-Marie on May. 4, 2012 at 10:50 PM

But something like Herpes can go YEARS unnoticed...what then? Leave him just because?

Quoting casah4:

 I think it would be a deal-breaker for me. And honestly, if I didn't find out until after I had time to love him, I'd be pissed. Obviously he would have hidden it from me the entire time. That's not being honest.


spastic_poodle
by Platinum Member on May. 4, 2012 at 10:50 PM
She's talking about hpv, you're talking about HSV (herpes.) That's why hers was curable. Yours is not.

Though some people do seem to be immune to the disease.


Quoting prettygirl326:

 wtf i have never heard of that...so you are just a carrier? i might be too...my hubby has never had an outbreak in the three years we have been together and i am so jealous. i get them, but they are more like little splits and tears, not blisters.


Quoting Ashley_Carlson:


Just a note: My strain is treatable and sometimes curable. So I can't transmit it as long as I don't get all lovey dovey while I'm having an outbreak. I haven't had an outbreak in 10 months and my last test came back negative. My doc is going to test me again and if that comes back negative, then I'm finally cured! :D


Quoting Ashley_Carlson:


I have HPV due to a sexual assault. The SOB kissed me, that's all it took. I'm still very bitter about it. I get sores inside my mouth frequently because of it. I told my SO before we even officially got together and he said he didn't care. Now he's turned it against me and is taunting me for it. That SOB's ass is on the curb the moment I find a job.




 


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cLanief
by Gold Member on May. 4, 2012 at 10:51 PM
If he knowingly had one before we got together yes it most likely would be a deal breaker... If he got it from cheating while with me yes it would be a deal breaker.. If it sprung up after all is said and done... Oh well no it wouldn't be a deal breaker.
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casah4
by Gold Member on May. 4, 2012 at 10:51 PM

 I already addressed my misunderstanding with the OP.

Leave him, probably not. But I don't think I could be intimate with him again.

Quoting IncognitoOne:

But something like Herpes can go YEARS unnoticed...what then? Leave him just because?

Quoting casah4:

 I think it would be a deal-breaker for me. And honestly, if I didn't find out until after I had time to love him, I'd be pissed. Obviously he would have hidden it from me the entire time. That's not being honest.


 

IncognitoOne
by Angela-Marie on May. 4, 2012 at 10:52 PM

Herpes wouldn't bother me so much, especially if he were honest and up-front (assuming he knew before things escalated)....but HIV/AIDS would be hard for me.

#1: I wouldn't put myself in that much of a risk. #2: It would be too hard to live with KNOWING he'd deteriorate and be miserable before passing on.

briellesmomma
by Gold Member on May. 4, 2012 at 10:53 PM
I have an incurable STD. So, no. Hiv or aids yes.
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areid1023
by Platinum Member on May. 4, 2012 at 10:54 PM

yeah..this isnt making sense to me either..

Quoting TummyTurner:

HPV or cold sores? Like the herpes virus?

Quoting Ashley_Carlson:

I have HPV due to a sexual assault. The SOB kissed me, that's all it took. I'm still very bitter about it. I get sores inside my mouth frequently because of it. I told my SO before we even officially got together and he said he didn't care. Now he's turned it against me and is taunting me for it. That SOB's ass is on the curb the moment I find a job.



 my little bug! 11-29-08

Elayna90
by Platinum Member on May. 4, 2012 at 10:55 PM
I am not sure.

I have a cancerous strain of HPV. I have tested positive for about 2 years now. My husband didn't leave me. So if he had one pop up, I don't think it would be a deal breaker.
If I were still dating, I think it would be a deal breaker.
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towerjunkie1989
by on May. 4, 2012 at 10:58 PM

It isn't a deal breaker for me because I have herpes. Why would I make someone having something(Unless HIV/AIDS) feel like shit by passing them up when I know how it feels? My son's father has warts and I still gave him a chance. We were careful and I didn't get it. I'm not sure about him though. We don't talk

wulfeyes05
by on May. 4, 2012 at 10:59 PM

Total dealbreaker, if my husband had had some sort of disease I would have never had sex with him, especially if it's HIV/AIDS. He and I have only ever had one sexual partner, each other, so we didn't have to worry about that stuff. I would have still married him, but there wouldn't have been any love making if it hadn't been cured. I understand if you don't know you have something, but if you do and you don't tell someone you're a dick. It's illegal not to tell someone if you have an incurable and deadly disease, Yes, a dealbreaker as far as sex goes. If I had had more than one partner I would have asked everyone of them if they were disease free.

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