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Should we pay for their wedding cake? UPDATE

SOs cousin was getting married in Oct. she asked if we can help with the cake. We said yes we have time to save money and pay it. She was having a semi big wedding and cake was coming out to a little over $400.

Now she decides she wants a small wedding and the new date is June 1st. She text me earlier to let me know. Since this will be a bit small now her cake will be $250 but the thing is SO hasn't been working for 3 weeks already. Right now we can't spend those $250 because i feel it needs to go to other things. We had over 3 months to save money and we were fine but now not so much.

Thing is SO says we should still pay for it that we will be fine. We might be I guess but I feel we shouldn't waste that money because it can go toward something else. We don't know when he will go back to work. I would really love to help them with their wedding they have helped us out in the past. I just don't feel now is the time to spend that much. What would you do?


Update: I just wanted to thank you guys for your answers. It was hard to make a decision because they have helped us in the past. We decided at first to only help them with half. Luckily SO started working again yesterday so we will be Able to help them with the whole cost. She chose a new cake that will cost $200. I'm very happy things worked out. They will have a cute wedding.
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by on May. 4, 2012 at 10:45 PM
Replies (31-40):
CABZS
by Ruby Member on May. 4, 2012 at 11:04 PM
1 mom liked this

Honestly you said you would help & I would see it as wrong to go back on that.

You can try explaining things but if it was me I would find a way to make it work bc I don't go back on things I say I will do.

ColieO
by I Rock on May. 4, 2012 at 11:04 PM
Why would you guys pay for her cake in the first place?
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JocelynsMommy30
by Silver Member on May. 4, 2012 at 11:04 PM
Yea I'm pretty sure she will. I just want to make SO understand too because he feels we still Need to help.

Quoting tennisgal:

I really think his cousin would understand. A job loss is a life-altering event. 

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Tracy67
by on May. 4, 2012 at 11:05 PM
I would definitely tell her that I could help with half. Honestly I'd probably offer 100 dollars.
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JocelynsMommy30
by Silver Member on May. 4, 2012 at 11:05 PM
In our family when theirs big events like this we all like to help out. We offered to help with her wedding and she asked for the cake and we said fine

Quoting ColieO:

Why would you guys pay for her cake in the first place?
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tennisgal
by on May. 4, 2012 at 11:06 PM

I think you just need to make it clear that right now you are in survival mode. What if a child needs to go to the er? How will you pay the copay? What if, what if, what if? He's not working right now, so you need to be hording money, not to mention she changed the date quite drastically. 

Quoting JocelynsMommy30:

Yea I'm pretty sure she will. I just want to make SO understand too because he feels we still Need to help.

Quoting tennisgal:

I really think his cousin would understand. A job loss is a life-altering event. 


JocelynsMommy30
by Silver Member on May. 4, 2012 at 11:07 PM
That's what SO says. I just don't feel that way, she change the date to 4 months earlier.

Quoting CABZS:

Honestly you said you would help & I would see it as wrong to go back on that.


You can try explaining things but if it was me I would find a way to make it work bc I don't go back on things I say I will do.

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JocelynsMommy30
by Silver Member on May. 4, 2012 at 11:09 PM
Yes! We aren't completely bad I just feel if he was working we would be more secure. I really don't want to pay for the cake and have something happen that requires money and us hitting our heads over it. I have such bad luck sometimes I just know something like that would happen to me.

Quoting tennisgal:

I think you just need to make it clear that right now you are in survival mode. What if a child needs to go to the er? How will you pay the copay? What if, what if, what if? He's not working right now, so you need to be hording money, not to mention she changed the date quite drastically. 


Quoting JocelynsMommy30:

Yea I'm pretty sure she will. I just want to make SO understand too because he feels we still Need to help.



Quoting tennisgal:

I really think his cousin would understand. A job loss is a life-altering event. 


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mommyof11050307
by Ruby Member on May. 4, 2012 at 11:10 PM
Tell her you can't afford it right now. Had she waited till oct you would have been able to. I think it's rude to move up your wedding date and expect someone to put out money in 2 weeks.
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incogneat-o
by on May. 4, 2012 at 11:10 PM
1 mom liked this
Tell er you're saving for an October cake. You'll give her the money in October.

I just don't understanding having a wedding you can't afford, but then again I don't have the kind of family that helps anyone but themselves.
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