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Should we pay for their wedding cake? UPDATE

SOs cousin was getting married in Oct. she asked if we can help with the cake. We said yes we have time to save money and pay it. She was having a semi big wedding and cake was coming out to a little over $400.

Now she decides she wants a small wedding and the new date is June 1st. She text me earlier to let me know. Since this will be a bit small now her cake will be $250 but the thing is SO hasn't been working for 3 weeks already. Right now we can't spend those $250 because i feel it needs to go to other things. We had over 3 months to save money and we were fine but now not so much.

Thing is SO says we should still pay for it that we will be fine. We might be I guess but I feel we shouldn't waste that money because it can go toward something else. We don't know when he will go back to work. I would really love to help them with their wedding they have helped us out in the past. I just don't feel now is the time to spend that much. What would you do?


Update: I just wanted to thank you guys for your answers. It was hard to make a decision because they have helped us in the past. We decided at first to only help them with half. Luckily SO started working again yesterday so we will be Able to help them with the whole cost. She chose a new cake that will cost $200. I'm very happy things worked out. They will have a cute wedding.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on May. 4, 2012 at 10:45 PM
Replies (41-50):
CABZS
by Ruby Member on May. 4, 2012 at 11:11 PM

I understand that but you still said you'd help.

You asked for thoughts I gave you mine.  I'm sorry it won't change.

I said explain things and go from there.

Maybe pay for half or help another way.

All I know is how *I* am & I am not comfortable going back on what I say I will do.

Quoting JocelynsMommy30:

That's what SO says. I just don't feel that way, she change the date to 4 months earlier.

Quoting CABZS:

Honestly you said you would help & I would see it as wrong to go back on that.


You can try explaining things but if it was me I would find a way to make it work bc I don't go back on things I say I will do.


JocelynsMommy30
by Silver Member on May. 4, 2012 at 11:12 PM
She can afford it it's no problem for them. Like I wrote earlier in our family we like to help out with big events like this. We offered to help and it was fine but we thought Oct. but now to pay it in 2 weeks I'm not happy about that.

Quoting incogneat-o:

Tell er you're saving for an October cake. You'll give her the money in October.



I just don't understanding having a wedding you can't afford, but then again I don't have the kind of family that helps anyone but themselves.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
paknari
by on May. 4, 2012 at 11:13 PM
Maybe ask her of you can help out but if you can't come up with the total then it would be Ok. Like if you say you want to helP out and you will give what you can spare each month. I know if I wa the bride I would be happy that the person was trying and give them an out!


Quoting JocelynsMommy30:

Yea I just want advice before I do. SO still thinks we need to pay for it I just don't know.



Quoting paknari:

Why dOnt you just talk to her about the situation.maybe she will gracefully take back the idea.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
opal10161973
by on May. 4, 2012 at 11:13 PM

I prefer Chaos Mode myself.  I agree with your reply.

Quoting Astaroth:

I wouldnt. You said you'd help, not pay for the whole cake. She shouldn't have been having a big wedding in the first place if she couldnt afford it.

That is not enough time for you; what your immediate family needs is most important.


/bitch mode


JocelynsMommy30
by Silver Member on May. 4, 2012 at 11:14 PM
Yea I'm not happy about it

Quoting mommyof11050307:

Tell her you can't afford it right now. Had she waited till oct you would have been able to. I think it's rude to move up your wedding date and expect someone to put out money in 2 weeks.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
boys2men2soon
by Silver Member on May. 4, 2012 at 11:15 PM

Explain the situation.   Tell her you can't come up with the full amount in that length of time.   Maybe you can offer to pay half?




JocelynsMommy30
by Silver Member on May. 4, 2012 at 11:15 PM
I know I'm not asking you to change your thoughts. I am thinking of helping with half.

Quoting CABZS:

I understand that but you still said you'd help.


You asked for thoughts I gave you mine.  I'm sorry it won't change.


I said explain things and go from there.


Maybe pay for half or help another way.


All I know is how *I* am & I am not comfortable going back on what I say I will do.


Quoting JocelynsMommy30:

That's what SO says. I just don't feel that way, she change the date to 4 months earlier.


Quoting CABZS:


Honestly you said you would help & I would see it as wrong to go back on that.



You can try explaining things but if it was me I would find a way to make it work bc I don't go back on things I say I will do.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ahappymommy
by Gold Member on May. 4, 2012 at 11:16 PM

You said you would HELP pay for a cake in OCTOBER! Not pay for an ENTIRE cake in JUNE! Explain to her that you just can't afford it since she moved up the date, and that maybe you could help her make a cake instead. You can't help it that your husband isn't working!

dusky_rose
by Sue on May. 4, 2012 at 11:16 PM

Explain your situation and see if you can only pay part of it maybe.


I'm thankful for a hubby that loves me, 4 healthy children, a warm
place to sleep and enough food for our meals... God bless America!

JocelynsMommy30
by Silver Member on May. 4, 2012 at 11:16 PM
That's what I'm thinking.

Quoting boys2men2soon:

Explain the situation.   Tell her you can't come up with the full amount in that length of time.   Maybe you can offer to pay half?

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