If your partner smokes but you don't.. *EDITED
How do you deal with it?
Please note this isn't a cigarette bashing post, it's an I can't take the emotional toll of my husband killing himself post.
Anyway, my husband is a smoker. We've been together four years, and it's been a rough road emotionally when it comes to his smoking. He's made promises to me, and to our sons, and to himself that he will try to quit. And at one point, he did, for quite a while. But then he was just like "eh, screw it" and started up again.
He and I are separating, but I still love him tremendously. And every time he goes out to smoke, it's like a punch in the gut. Every time I see a commercial about the damages cigarettes have caused, it's like a punch in the gut. Every time he sits outside and smokes ANOTHER one, right after putting one out.. you get the idea. And I just keep thinking of ten years down the road, when I have to sit next to a hospital bed and explain to my boys why daddy's there, why he made the choice to put himself there..
It's heartbreaking, and all he does is brush off the way I feel like it's no big deal.
*Edit* I had no idea that something this simple would still get people misunderstanding, so I'm going to try to clarify. I am not leaving my husband because he smokes. His smoking has nothing to do with our separation. I don't know HOW people are getting that from me saying that even though we're separating, I still love him, so it still hurts me to see him hurt himself. So please, stop telling me that I shouldn't be leaving him because he smokes. It's getting tiring. Also, I am not trying to change him, I am not telling him to quit, and I am not taking his smoking personally (I don't even know how I COULD take it personally). I am simply asking how you handle the emotional toll of knowing someone you love is hurting themselves. I'm having a hard time with it, and was seeking to hear from people in a similar boat. That's it.