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Ive come a long way in terms of being bitter towards my ex. I no longer pick out imaginary flaws when I see happy families. I'm not overly jealous of them anymore, and if I do experience jealousy it's fueled by sadness of what I don't have instead of anger from what is lost.

I'm still obviously bitter. Mother's day makes me mad. I wish my mom a Happy day and give her something special. It's great for other mamas. I just don't want any part of it for me anymore. Not to mention its a month before father's day, and the mention of that day makes me want to scream obscenities.

I've started to slowly hate all holidays. They bring me no pleasure or joy and instead I get frustrated with the amount of pressure that surrounds holidays. I hate feeling like I *need* to do something special and fabulous to make it a good day.

Even typing this is making me feel teary eyed and I'm realizing how truly alone I am.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on May. 5, 2012 at 9:48 AM
Replies (21-24):
epoh
by Emerald Member on May. 5, 2012 at 10:15 AM
Yes, I do. Lol no one else is going to come save-a-ho.

Quoting ditsyjo:

I'm sorry holidays are hard for you. you don't have to be alone.


 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
epoh
by Emerald Member on May. 5, 2012 at 10:15 AM
Not healthy for me, but the kids are fine. I suck it up for them.

Quoting xo.MommyW.xo:

But you are letting those things control you, its not healthy for you pr your kids



Quoting epoh:

No one has that control over me. It's aaaaaaall me. I made poor choices and now I deal with the consequences.





Quoting xo.MommyW.xo:

You cant let anyone have that control over you
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
momdoes
by Platinum Member on May. 5, 2012 at 10:16 AM

List them privately in front of you there. We dont need to see it, YOU do.

Do know your feelings are not just yours. We have all felt something like that at some point. I give a great big cyber hug momma!!!!!!!!

Quoting epoh:

The things I've overcome and done are a bit too personal to share on here. :)

Quoting momdoes:

List me the positive things you have done and the positives in your life right now.


epoh
by Emerald Member on May. 5, 2012 at 10:19 AM
Thanks. I'll do this later when the kids are resting. :)

Quoting momdoes:

List them privately in front of you there. We dont need to see it, YOU do.


Do know your feelings are not just yours. We have all felt something like that at some point. I give a great big cyber hug momma!!!!!!!!


Quoting epoh:

The things I've overcome and done are a bit too personal to share on here. :)


Quoting momdoes:


List me the positive things you have done and the positives in your life right now.



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