I'm a Christian & Angry at God THANK YOU EVERYONE!
Ok so I am kind of angry w/God & stuck in that right now.
Why is it when you tell another Christian that they have no idea what to say?
Or I am told to go read the Bible. I am sorry, tell me I'm going to hell or bash me, reading the Bible doesn't help me.
I haven't figured out how to not be angry at Him anymore. I have all this anxiety, all these worries, my body keeps yelling at me making me think something is wrong, I am alone. Thankfully only for another 6 weeks but my husband and I have been apart for more than 2yrs (minus approximately 100 days).
I'm angry, all I want is feel normal again & all I want is my hubby home. For a year we waited to be a family again, I would see him & he'd be gone & I'd be left just wishing for him again. Wasn't so bad until we moved & my health went all out of whack.
The move was suppose to be a blessing, a fresh start but it hasn't been much of a blessing yet.
I am just angry & all I'm told is God is with me or to read the Bible.
Is it really that horrible to people when others are angry at God?
EDIT: I want to thank everyone for their kind words & for not being judgemental. I am listening & will look for the book that was recommended & listen to the videos that were put up. Thank you for being so understanding & supportive!!!
For those thinking I'm doing nothing that is wrong & instead of assuming maybe ask.
I have been through counseling for childhood physical, sexual & emotional abuse. I have been in counseling for the abuse suffered by my ex.
We have moved, I can not use the counselor I had back home, shortly after finding a counselor here she moved.
The 1st Dr I saw here was a pill happy Dr who was more interested in belittling those w/anxiety & actually making their anxiety worse.
The 2nd practice I went to was suppose to be more holistic, it was not. They had their own vitamin shop, if you didn't use their they had no idea about anything else. Plus they wracked me up a huge medical bill.
I am on my 3rd practice and hopefully my last bc so far I love them & have actually seen the Dr not just the PA or NP.
My diet is extremely healthy, always has been.
I exercise & do yoga. I have done accupuncture for my sinuses which helps but not covered by insurance. I get massages as they help but again cost money.
I do not sit home on my butt and do nothing, I try to get out & have met a few people & have 4 awesome friends here.
I do not have a church, went to 2 & didn't mesh so now I'm waiting til my DH comes home so we can find one together.
Even though I have friends some work, and all spend time w/their DHs on the weekend. I spend much of my time alone here which is not normal for me & I have also NEVER experienced health issues like this or anxiety.
So yes I"m angry. I am not angry 24/7 though. Yes right now there is a huge part of me that is upset w/God. I feel he has left me alone again just as I was trying to find my way back to Him. Yes I walked away for a long time bc of how things were before.
I honestly feel that enough is enough & if you can't understand that then I am happy for you bc you've probably have never been hit over and over and over again with things.
I have changed a TON in my life so to make an assumption I have not is well wrong.
Anyway THANK YOU to everyone who has helped & has not been judgemental & have offered great advice.