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Please Read And Give Advice. -UPDATE-

Posted by on May. 5, 2012 at 1:42 PM
  • 31 Replies

 My little sister graduated high school last year. She is 19. She doesn't have a job, and she bounces from house to house. She *had* a job, but got fired last month. She hasn't even looked for a job since.

She is apparently gay. This was news to all of us, since she had a boyfriend literally a week before she decided suddenly that she was gay. She has had lots of boyfriends, or more accurately, fuck-buddies over the last 3 years. She'd hop from one man to the next, and wouldn't listen to anyone's advice about waiting to sleep with them. Then, one day last summer, a girl had a crush on her and she decided she was gay. Who knows whether she is or not. I don't care either way. That isn't the issue.

Her girlfriend is still in high school; she graduates this year. They began daying last September. I just found out they are getting married...in exactly two weeks. Her girlfriend won't even be out of high school yet. My sister doesn't have a job, doesn't have a license, doesn't have her own place. She is currently living at our dad's apartment in the projects. Prior to that, she lived with friends, and before that, with us.

This is a big mistake. I realize there is nothing I can do and nothing I can tell her that will change her mind. These two are kids---one is too immature to get or keep a job, and the other works part time at a Papa John's and hasn't even graduated high school!

I need advice. I don't know what kind of advice I'm looking for. Maybe I just want to vent, maybe I just want someone to talk to. I'm ready to bang my head against the wall with everything going on in my life right now.

UPDATE: Our father just found out and is having a nuclear meltdown. He is extremely homophobic, and hasn't been at all supportive up to this point. He just got out of my sister's minivan and stormed off down the road, after yelling (for all the neighbors to hear) about how he failed and raised 4 fuck-up kids. My older sister is chasing him down. I'm trying to stay out of it. My sister is ready to melt-down herself. Midterm reports just came in the mail, and her oldest daughter is going to fail 10th grade.

WTF is happening to my family...

 


"Roger that. Over."

R   A   D    I    O    H    E    I    D

by on May. 5, 2012 at 1:42 PM
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Replies (1-10):
hautemama83
by Nichole on May. 5, 2012 at 1:51 PM
Well I think you said it yourself. They're kids, and they're stupid. If they really are getting married what are they going to do? Play house at your dads, until the next not boring thing comes along?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
radioheid
by on May. 5, 2012 at 1:51 PM

BUMP!

radioheid
by on May. 5, 2012 at 1:54 PM

 Apparently they won some contest on Facebook, and are getting married in Dayton, Ohio on May 19th. Strange, considering gay marriage is illegal in Ohio, but whatever. I'm not worried about that, I'm concerned with the insult this is to marriage. Two idiot kids getting married? No way to support themselves, no home, no car, one pat-time job between the two of them? WTF???

Quoting hautemama83:

Well I think you said it yourself. They're kids, and they're stupid. If they really are getting married what are they going to do? Play house at your dads, until the next not boring thing comes along?

 


"Roger that. Over."

R   A   D    I    O    H    E    I    D

grey7399
by on May. 5, 2012 at 1:58 PM
1 mom liked this

I read your reply and I see your point.

You can't do a thing.  I see how you want to.  Heck, I want to.  Just don't feed into it, don't support it, don't support them.  Let them lose their phones, run out of heating gas, no food, etc.

hautemama83
by Nichole on May. 5, 2012 at 2:04 PM
A Facebook contest to get married in a state where gay marriage is illegal. LOL sounds legit.

Really I do agree with you totally. Its just foolish. Has anyone said anything to her about it?


Quoting radioheid:

 Apparently they won some contest on Facebook, and are getting married in Dayton, Ohio on May 19th. Strange, considering gay marriage is illegal in Ohio, but whatever. I'm not worried about that, I'm concerned with the insult this is to marriage. Two idiot kids getting married? No way to support themselves, no home, no car, one pat-time job between the two of them? WTF???


Quoting hautemama83:

Well I think you said it yourself. They're kids, and they're stupid. If they really are getting married what are they going to do? Play house at your dads, until the next not boring thing comes along?

 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mrs.Winchester
by on May. 5, 2012 at 2:07 PM
1 mom liked this

Let your sister fall on her face.  She'll get married, the relationship will fall apart, and hopefully she will learn a lesson.  All you can do is wish her the best.

radioheid
by on May. 5, 2012 at 2:11 PM

 This is breaking news in the family. We literally found out less than 2 hours ago. My sister is at her girlfriend's, so no one has had a chance to say anything. I guess it was posted on Facebook. I have her feeds hidden, so I didn't notice it, but my older sister told me.

Quoting hautemama83:

A Facebook contest to get married in a state where gay marriage is illegal. LOL sounds legit.

Really I do agree with you totally. Its just foolish. Has anyone said anything to her about it?


Quoting radioheid:

 Apparently they won some contest on Facebook, and are getting married in Dayton, Ohio on May 19th. Strange, considering gay marriage is illegal in Ohio, but whatever. I'm not worried about that, I'm concerned with the insult this is to marriage. Two idiot kids getting married? No way to support themselves, no home, no car, one pat-time job between the two of them? WTF???


Quoting hautemama83:

Well I think you said it yourself. They're kids, and they're stupid. If they really are getting married what are they going to do? Play house at your dads, until the next not boring thing comes along?

 

 


"Roger that. Over."

R   A   D    I    O    H    E    I    D

hautemama83
by Nichole on May. 5, 2012 at 2:15 PM
That's crazy. I say just let it all play out. She's going to have to learn one way or another what life is all about.

Quoting radioheid:

 This is breaking news in the family. We literally found out less than 2 hours ago. My sister is at her girlfriend's, so no one has had a chance to say anything. I guess it was posted on Facebook. I have her feeds hidden, so I didn't notice it, but my older sister told me.


Quoting hautemama83:

A Facebook contest to get married in a state where gay marriage is illegal. LOL sounds legit.

Really I do agree with you totally. Its just foolish. Has anyone said anything to her about it?



Quoting radioheid:


 Apparently they won some contest on Facebook, and are getting married in Dayton, Ohio on May 19th. Strange, considering gay marriage is illegal in Ohio, but whatever. I'm not worried about that, I'm concerned with the insult this is to marriage. Two idiot kids getting married? No way to support themselves, no home, no car, one pat-time job between the two of them? WTF???



Quoting hautemama83:

Well I think you said it yourself. They're kids, and they're stupid. If they really are getting married what are they going to do? Play house at your dads, until the next not boring thing comes along?


 


 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
brookiecookie87
by on May. 5, 2012 at 2:18 PM

Eh, your sister and her girlfriend getting married early will be an insult to them, not marraige in general. They will understand this a few months down the road when the reality of it sets in and they are stuck with each other. I know and understand your frustrations though.

And sometimes a vent is all we need.

radioheid
by on May. 5, 2012 at 2:21 PM

 I want so badly to slap her and call her stupid. I don't think she realizes what a commitment marriage is. Its like you said---she's playing house.

Quoting hautemama83:

That's crazy. I say just let it all play out. She's going to have to learn one way or another what life is all about.

Quoting radioheid:

 This is breaking news in the family. We literally found out less than 2 hours ago. My sister is at her girlfriend's, so no one has had a chance to say anything. I guess it was posted on Facebook. I have her feeds hidden, so I didn't notice it, but my older sister told me.


Quoting hautemama83:

A Facebook contest to get married in a state where gay marriage is illegal. LOL sounds legit.

Really I do agree with you totally. Its just foolish. Has anyone said anything to her about it?



Quoting radioheid:


 Apparently they won some contest on Facebook, and are getting married in Dayton, Ohio on May 19th. Strange, considering gay marriage is illegal in Ohio, but whatever. I'm not worried about that, I'm concerned with the insult this is to marriage. Two idiot kids getting married? No way to support themselves, no home, no car, one pat-time job between the two of them? WTF???



Quoting hautemama83:

Well I think you said it yourself. They're kids, and they're stupid. If they really are getting married what are they going to do? Play house at your dads, until the next not boring thing comes along?


 


 

 


"Roger that. Over."

R   A   D    I    O    H    E    I    D

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