Top 10 Reasons Why CafeMom is Better Than Facebook
10. You're not tempted to look up old boyfriends
9. No bellyfat ads
8. You can post about sore nipples without worrying you'll get a creepy PM from some crazy hairy shirtless guy looking for "pritty ladee like you to love"
7. No memes from George Takei
6. Staffers aren't too busy riding around the office on skateboards to answer your questions
5. No fascist apps that steal your personal info and spam your friends
3. Your CafeMom profile page is to Timelime what chocolate is to rug burns
2. You have forever to edit your posts (as opposed to 2.1 seconds)
1. Post bumps!
(Of course, the real #1 reason is mom friends, but that goes without saying!)