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WTF am I going to do??? My heart has stopped!!! Update in Red

Posted by on May. 9, 2012 at 2:22 PM
  • 49 Replies

OMG I just got the worst phone call!!! My son's bio dad whom he has never met for the following reasons......

He is a registered sex offender.....statuatory 9 years ago that I found out about after I got pregnant with DS.

He is a recovering meth head in and out of jail

He has met DS 1 time when he was a newborn

He lost custody of his other son

He was extremley abusive towards me

He has spent 4 of the past 8 years in and out of jail for various offenses some I dont know about.

I have not talked to this man in over 7 years our son is 8.  My son does not know he has a different dad, I have never brought it up and always told myself when DS started asking questions I would be honest with him. Well now bio dad is getting some big settlement and wants to meet DS and come buy him a dirt bike etc.  I was left speechless.  I have told bio dad's mother whom I stay in contact with that he would have to prove he is clean and stay that way for a long time before I ever considered it.  I guess I always knew in the back of my head that this day might come but I dont want him anywhere near my son!!! I dont know what the Fuck to do!  I have not talked to dh about it yet he is out of state and sleeping right now.  Just needed to vent and maybe some advice!

 

Update: Ok so I got a call from Bio Dad's mother, we stay in contact and I have asked her to keep me informed of certain things like family medical history etc. and she has adopted bio dad's son that was taken by cps. She called to warn me that he told her when he gets his money he is going to move here and is coming to see his son. He would be violating probation if he just took off here he is not supposed to leave the state.  Anyway she said if I want more info on his arrest record to look here so this is what I found!!! I am calling an attorney! I never want this man anywhere near my son!

He looks so horrible hardly recognized him I guess that is what drugs do.

http://www.standard.net/topics/crime/2010/06/02/man-arrested-exposing-himself-ogden-elementary-school

by on May. 9, 2012 at 2:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
kagegirl
by on May. 9, 2012 at 2:36 PM
2 moms liked this

Is there any kind of custody arrangment? If he is a sex offender, you may not have to do anything, he may not be allowed near children. Check the laws.

hautemama83
by Nichole on May. 9, 2012 at 2:39 PM
Is he on the BC?
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kcook55
by Platinum Member on May. 9, 2012 at 2:42 PM

first off i would have a talk with your son his father and the man he calls dad you dont want the ex showing up and telling your son im your dad you have to come with me etc..... you will want it coming from you. I think he would have to take you to court before you have to let him see your son and i would never allow a registered sex oftener alone with my child

krayzbabylove
by on May. 9, 2012 at 2:45 PM
You need to be honest with your son.
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LTsMommy07
by Gold Member on May. 9, 2012 at 2:48 PM



Quoting kagegirl:

Is there any kind of custody arrangment? If he is a sex offender, you may not have to do anything, he may not be allowed near children. Check the laws.


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mes_deux_amours
by on May. 9, 2012 at 2:49 PM
What I don't get is keeping in contact at all with any family of a person you don't want in your child's life. People like that are often unpredictable.

Good luck with everything.
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LTsMommy07
by Gold Member on May. 9, 2012 at 2:50 PM
If you don't want him around your son then just say NO! Then if he is an ass about it he will just have to file a motion with the court....which by the sound of things really wouldn't be smart on his part. GL!
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kjfamily
by on May. 9, 2012 at 2:51 PM

 Your son is old enough to know the truth..He should hear it from you before the ex shows up..Because he has been in and out of jail he wont get visitation unsupervised..

ChunkyMonkey25
by on May. 9, 2012 at 2:51 PM

I'd be really hesitant to say anything to your son just yet. Talk to dh and go from there, I think if anything is said both of you need to be there.

stefvan
by on May. 9, 2012 at 2:52 PM
3 moms liked this

 Your son is 8 years old and has no clue about his dad.  Even if the guy is the scum of the earth, I don't think that is very fair to your son.  He deserves to know the truth even if he never sees the man. 

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