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Need help w/ 2 year old DD

Posted by on May. 9, 2012 at 2:24 PM
  • 27 Replies

Well she will be 2 next month......anyway here is my problem. She is so bad/mean/defiant to me. I don't know what I am doing wrong or where I went wrong. I never had these issues with my 5 year old DD and I am doing nothing different now from then.

She is so sweet when she wants to be but other times when she doesn't get her way she screams, scratches, kicks, and hits me. Sometimes I want to break down and cry. Can this be normal behavior or should I be concerned?

by on May. 9, 2012 at 2:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Christywf
by Silver Member on May. 9, 2012 at 2:44 PM

She can't quite verbalize what she needs/wants, etc.  She is also almost 2 which would explain the behaviors you describe.  Does she show any delays in other areas, like speech, learning, milestones, etc?  If so, I would have her evaluated, if not wait it out a bit.

lovin_life85
by on May. 9, 2012 at 2:50 PM

No developmental delays, she is very smart and clearly knows right from wrong. This is just all new for me, maybe my oldest skipped the "terrible twos" I never went through any of this with her. I am not sure how to make it better, I am consistent w/ my time outs and not giving in but so far no luck w/ attitude change.

eesmommy
by Gold Member on May. 9, 2012 at 2:57 PM
The next time you see the start of this behavior, take her in your arms and away from the area. Very calmly say "lets calm down. Take a deep breath, lets figure this out together" then ask her simple yes or no questions like Are you sad? Are you hurt? Are angry? This way she cam get her point across without acting out but still feel like she is a big girl. My daughter did the same thing and using this technique has worked wonderfully
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lovin_life85
by on May. 9, 2012 at 3:01 PM

Thanks and I will make sure and try this. It comes and goes, this morning she was fine and in a great mood, I go to put her in her carseat which quickly makes her unhappy and the first thing she does is smack me across the face and starts kicking and screaming....I don't understand where the hittinh is coming from either. We are not hitters in my house.

Quoting eesmommy:

The next time you see the start of this behavior, take her in your arms and away from the area. Very calmly say "lets calm down. Take a deep breath, lets figure this out together" then ask her simple yes or no questions like Are you sad? Are you hurt? Are angry? This way she cam get her point across without acting out but still feel like she is a big girl. My daughter did the same thing and using this technique has worked wonderfully


alwaystheresa
by on May. 9, 2012 at 3:09 PM

 My DD is turning 2 next month as well :). We went through something like this about 6 mos ago and I thought it was the terrible twos starting because it was horrible. Luckily for us we found out she was just teething. Maybe your DD molers are starting to come in. :) Good luck.

lovin_life85
by on May. 9, 2012 at 3:13 PM

Really? That's interesting, I never knew teething could cause them to act out.

Quoting alwaystheresa:

 My DD is turning 2 next month as well :). We went through something like this about 6 mos ago and I thought it was the terrible twos starting because it was horrible. Luckily for us we found out she was just teething. Maybe your DD molers are starting to come in. :) Good luck.


eema.gray
by on May. 9, 2012 at 3:16 PM

How is her speech development, especially vocabulary?  An almost 2 year old, per developmental specialists, should have a vocabulary of pretty close to 200 words.  Can she name emotions?  Even if her communication is on track, she may not have learned to label her emotions yet, which could be causing her frustration.  You can help her by waiting until she calms down and then helping her to describe how she feels and what made her react the way she did.

You may also have just gotten lucky with your first daughter.  Some 2 year olds really are terrible, until they learn more language.

lovin_life85
by on May. 9, 2012 at 3:22 PM

She doesn't express in words being happy, sad, or mad. I mean she can talk and tell me what she wants and all, but as far as telling me how she is feeling emotionally, no.

Quoting eema.gray:

How is her speech development, especially vocabulary?  An almost 2 year old, per developmental specialists, should have a vocabulary of pretty close to 200 words.  Can she name emotions?  Even if her communication is on track, she may not have learned to label her emotions yet, which could be causing her frustration.  You can help her by waiting until she calms down and then helping her to describe how she feels and what made her react the way she did.

You may also have just gotten lucky with your first daughter.  Some 2 year olds really are terrible, until they learn more language.


25beengoodtome
by on May. 9, 2012 at 3:24 PM

TIME OUT Both of you need some time to sit and be quiet when the battle starts.No more arguing or pleading. No more trying to make a deal.I'm sure there is a corner in your kitchen, hallway, or living room. Pick her up, set her down facing the corner. let her sit there for 2 minutes MAXIMUM. to start.        she must be quiet then come out and say "sorry mommy" Then you both hgug and kiss all better and love is OK. 

alwaystheresa
by on May. 9, 2012 at 3:25 PM
1 mom liked this

 Yep. It was the first time as a toddler that she had teethed. Most of her teeth had came in before she was 12 mos. It was like the devil had taken over my sweet little girl. She is such a good kid. I was shocked. After a couple of weeks of this my mom suggested that I take her to the doctor so I did and come to find out her teeth were breaking skin after they came in she was back to her normal, cheerful, funny self. Since I had her I had never wanted to take any breaks but would go out once in a while when she was like that I was going crazy and was begging Dh (he will always take her if I want to do something) to watch so I could get away for a while.

Quoting lovin_life85:

Really? That's interesting, I never knew teething could cause them to act out.

Quoting alwaystheresa:

 My DD is turning 2 next month as well :). We went through something like this about 6 mos ago and I thought it was the terrible twos starting because it was horrible. Luckily for us we found out she was just teething. Maybe your DD molers are starting to come in. :) Good luck.

 

 

Mommy of Zooey Ellen and Stepmom of Cohen and Gavin

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