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update!!! yesssss! single parents that work 3rd shift help please!!!!! eta more info...

Posted by on May. 11, 2012 at 1:35 PM
  • 57 Replies


OK SO BIG UPDATE! I AM SOO HAPPY OMG..STBXH CALLED AND WE TALKED HE SAID HE DIDNT WANT TO FIGHT ANYMORE (I THINK HE REALIZED THAT I WOULD PAY FOR A GUARDIAN AND I WOULD HAVE A LAWYER TOO NOW CUZ I WAS DONE WITH THE GAMES) AND SO IF I WAIVE HIS ARREARS AND ASK THE JUDGE NOT TO HAVE HIM PAY CS ANYMORE, HE WILL GO FOR 1 WEEK A MONTH 2 ADDITIONAL WEEKS A YEAR AND I GET TO CLAIM TAXES EVERY YEAR SINCE I PAY 6K A YEAR JUST IN DAYCARE. I KNOW THAT THE JUDGE WILL *PROBABLY* MAKE HIM PAY SOMETHING IN CS BUT I AM STILL GOING TO WRITE UP AN AGREEMENT AND GO FROM THERE.

ITS NOT ABOUT MONEY. I HAVE A GOOD JOB HE DOESNT. HE JUST DOESNT WANNA PAY AND IDC. I GET TO HAVE MY DD AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. HES STILL A PART OF HER LIFE BUT I AM MORE STABLE. I AM SOOO HAPPY! ESP IF AND WHEN HE SIGNS IT. AND HE ALSO ALREADY TOLD ME HE WASNT ABLE TO GET DD THIS MONTH EVEN THOUGH HE TOLD THE JUDGE HE WOULD....LOL



ok so my stbxh is now saying he works 3rd shift but wants dd 5050.... how is that gonna work? shes 2 btw hes only working pt and at 822 a month supposedly? anyways.... how does it work if u work 3rd shift with a toddler? just curious.... cuz i dont see it working... 

he will just have his on and off gf watch her... its not her responsibility!


ETA: OK so the whole story here is this.... 

june 2011- stbxh cheated got another woman pregnant (supposedly but has a mc.) i kicked him out for that and for threatening to beat my ass when i found out.

end of june-halloween 2011- he doesnt see dd, call, text nothing. i am on my own.

oct 25th- we had court he was ordered visitations every other weekend starting halloween weekend.  

oct-feb2012- we had many issues with his visits..not picking her up, changing times, called me in the middle of the night says he has no place for dd cuz gf kicked him out. i went and got her with HIS PARENTS.... 

JAN 23 he doesnt show for court

FEB 24TH- we have court and i ask to move from milwaukee to louisville for a job opp and cuz i have a solid support system. (i had all my info for him already) stbxh agrees if i let him have 5050. i only agree to it as a temp order to see how he does with it. it was the only way to move when i did. i do have a good job better than i could get up there. 

march- he takes her for his 2 weeks...kinda. he doesnt have what he needs (this happens alot) so i make sure dd has what she needs. he was supposed to take her for her well check and doesnt...doesnt tell me till after her appt time..i could have/would have taken her. 

he calls me the next day and says again hes kicked out etc.. i got get dd spend the day with her and i had a dr appt with her dr (family doc) and so he did both of us...cuz hes awesome like that..anyways

stbxh calls that night and tells me to bring her back..its ok now... wtf...i had to court order...

i am moving march 31st and he says he cant drive her to meet me half way cuz he doesnt have money...ok...fine... i take her with me no problems... 

april to now- he is supposed to have her for 2 weeks and doesnt take her at all...so its now may 11th...he hasnt seen her since march 31st. he hasnt paid his back child support which is now 1500+ 

the judge yelled at him for that, for trying to say i have to move back cuz he doesnt wanna drive halfway (previously he agreed) he never got the papers i sent him cuz he didnt have time between working 3rd shift and "helping friends" in the day time...really? u couldnt take 10 minutes...whatever.. so yelled at for that too... 

we now have to talk and try to work it out before sept. i know he is not gonna go for 1 week a month 2 additional weeks a year...because he doesnt wanna pay cs. 

i have to pay fulltime daycare whether dd is there or not.. cuz i have to insure  i have a sitter for when he fucks up...again...and it will happen. 

anyways so now u know any other questions ask :) sorry its long and took a while i made soup for my sick behind. 

by on May. 11, 2012 at 1:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
emt088
by Silver Member on May. 11, 2012 at 1:38 PM

Wish I had some insight for ya- my now DH always expected me to watch his kids (he has them full time) before we were married. I hated it. Still do, to be honest

momma4vr
by Gold Member on May. 11, 2012 at 1:41 PM


Quoting emt088:

Wish I had some insight for ya- my now DH always expected me to watch his kids (he has them full time) before we were married. I hated it. Still do, to be honest

does he work 3rd shift? cuz thats how i see it..oh my gf can do it.... ummm no?! its YOUR TIME WITH YOUR DAUGHTER

happymommy1105
by Platinum Member on May. 11, 2012 at 1:44 PM
3 moms liked this
It doesn't matter how he does it. As long as the child is being properly cared for.

His time his discretion.
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emt088
by Silver Member on May. 11, 2012 at 1:46 PM


Quoting momma4vr:


Quoting emt088:

Wish I had some insight for ya- my now DH always expected me to watch his kids (he has them full time) before we were married. I hated it. Still do, to be honest

does he work 3rd shift? cuz thats how i see it..oh my gf can do it.... ummm no?! its YOUR TIME WITH YOUR DAUGHTER

Sort of. Were both in Emergency Medicine, so we work 24 hour shifts- when we go to work, we're literally there for the entire 24 hour period. So yes, he is gone all night, like a 3rd shifter would be- but in this case, he's also gone the entire day preceding the night time hours. Ill have them by myself for his shifts, rather than their BM taking them

r_luvli
by on May. 11, 2012 at 1:51 PM
I work 3rd shift and watch my gs during the day. I've gotten into a routine, where I don't go to bed until about 3-4pm and sleep until about 9:30, shower and go to work.
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momma4vr
by Gold Member on May. 11, 2012 at 1:52 PM


Quoting happymommy1105:

It doesn't matter how he does it. As long as the child is being properly cared for.

His time his discretion.

thats crap..but ok thanks...

i just dont see it workin out... i know how he is and he doesnt see his other dd who lives an hour away. its a crappy situation for all involved

momma4vr
by Gold Member on May. 11, 2012 at 1:53 PM


Quoting r_luvli:

I work 3rd shift and watch my gs during the day. I've gotten into a routine, where I don't go to bed until about 3-4pm and sleep until about 9:30, shower and go to work.

well that wouldnt work cuz his gf works 130-10pm so he would come home and sleep right away...and then my dd wakes up at 5AM-6AM their time (we r an hour ahead) and so shes up and hes not watching her... its pointless

amylulu1
by on May. 11, 2012 at 1:54 PM

 Just curious...yes, it is his time with his daughter, but you never have anyone watch her?  Do you have a job?  Do you ever have a girl's night out?  Why is there always such a double standard?  I'm not trying to be rude to you at all, honestly, but I see so many young ladies on here bitch about what Dad does when he has the child.  It just seems so controlling.  As long as she is safe and being taken care of, why do you care who she is with while he is working?  Or maybe you can set it up with your schedules so that you have DD when he scheduled to work....is that possible?

When I was younger and my son's father had him, it was none of my business what he was doing because I trusted him to have DS and knew that he wouldn't do anything to hurt him and he would make sure he was taken care of.  Is that the reason you worry- is your stbxh irresponsible in that way? 

AFWifeNMom
by on May. 11, 2012 at 1:54 PM
There are some daycares that watch 3rd shift kids.

They go to daycare when parents goes to work, sleeps like normal at daycare then parent picks up on the way home!

Idk what the parent does wham they try to sleep though

good luck!
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angeleyes16
by Danielle on May. 11, 2012 at 1:55 PM

 Same as a first shift job, only you're sleeping during the day rather than working.

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