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update!!! yesssss! single parents that work 3rd shift help please!!!!! eta more info...

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OK SO BIG UPDATE! I AM SOO HAPPY OMG..STBXH CALLED AND WE TALKED HE SAID HE DIDNT WANT TO FIGHT ANYMORE (I THINK HE REALIZED THAT I WOULD PAY FOR A GUARDIAN AND I WOULD HAVE A LAWYER TOO NOW CUZ I WAS DONE WITH THE GAMES) AND SO IF I WAIVE HIS ARREARS AND ASK THE JUDGE NOT TO HAVE HIM PAY CS ANYMORE, HE WILL GO FOR 1 WEEK A MONTH 2 ADDITIONAL WEEKS A YEAR AND I GET TO CLAIM TAXES EVERY YEAR SINCE I PAY 6K A YEAR JUST IN DAYCARE. I KNOW THAT THE JUDGE WILL *PROBABLY* MAKE HIM PAY SOMETHING IN CS BUT I AM STILL GOING TO WRITE UP AN AGREEMENT AND GO FROM THERE.

ITS NOT ABOUT MONEY. I HAVE A GOOD JOB HE DOESNT. HE JUST DOESNT WANNA PAY AND IDC. I GET TO HAVE MY DD AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. HES STILL A PART OF HER LIFE BUT I AM MORE STABLE. I AM SOOO HAPPY! ESP IF AND WHEN HE SIGNS IT. AND HE ALSO ALREADY TOLD ME HE WASNT ABLE TO GET DD THIS MONTH EVEN THOUGH HE TOLD THE JUDGE HE WOULD....LOL



ok so my stbxh is now saying he works 3rd shift but wants dd 5050.... how is that gonna work? shes 2 btw hes only working pt and at 822 a month supposedly? anyways.... how does it work if u work 3rd shift with a toddler? just curious.... cuz i dont see it working... 

he will just have his on and off gf watch her... its not her responsibility!


ETA: OK so the whole story here is this.... 

june 2011- stbxh cheated got another woman pregnant (supposedly but has a mc.) i kicked him out for that and for threatening to beat my ass when i found out.

end of june-halloween 2011- he doesnt see dd, call, text nothing. i am on my own.

oct 25th- we had court he was ordered visitations every other weekend starting halloween weekend.  

oct-feb2012- we had many issues with his visits..not picking her up, changing times, called me in the middle of the night says he has no place for dd cuz gf kicked him out. i went and got her with HIS PARENTS.... 

JAN 23 he doesnt show for court

FEB 24TH- we have court and i ask to move from milwaukee to louisville for a job opp and cuz i have a solid support system. (i had all my info for him already) stbxh agrees if i let him have 5050. i only agree to it as a temp order to see how he does with it. it was the only way to move when i did. i do have a good job better than i could get up there. 

march- he takes her for his 2 weeks...kinda. he doesnt have what he needs (this happens alot) so i make sure dd has what she needs. he was supposed to take her for her well check and doesnt...doesnt tell me till after her appt time..i could have/would have taken her. 

he calls me the next day and says again hes kicked out etc.. i got get dd spend the day with her and i had a dr appt with her dr (family doc) and so he did both of us...cuz hes awesome like that..anyways

stbxh calls that night and tells me to bring her back..its ok now... wtf...i had to court order...

i am moving march 31st and he says he cant drive her to meet me half way cuz he doesnt have money...ok...fine... i take her with me no problems... 

april to now- he is supposed to have her for 2 weeks and doesnt take her at all...so its now may 11th...he hasnt seen her since march 31st. he hasnt paid his back child support which is now 1500+ 

the judge yelled at him for that, for trying to say i have to move back cuz he doesnt wanna drive halfway (previously he agreed) he never got the papers i sent him cuz he didnt have time between working 3rd shift and "helping friends" in the day time...really? u couldnt take 10 minutes...whatever.. so yelled at for that too... 

we now have to talk and try to work it out before sept. i know he is not gonna go for 1 week a month 2 additional weeks a year...because he doesnt wanna pay cs. 

i have to pay fulltime daycare whether dd is there or not.. cuz i have to insure  i have a sitter for when he fucks up...again...and it will happen. 

anyways so now u know any other questions ask :) sorry its long and took a while i made soup for my sick behind. 

by on May. 11, 2012 at 1:35 PM
Replies (11-20):
AF2011
by Gold Member on May. 11, 2012 at 1:55 PM
Sounds like you're trying to keep his child from him. Well its his dd too so you should really work something out
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luvhubandbabys
by Silver Member on May. 11, 2012 at 1:58 PM
Do other single parents not use daycare or a babysitter for work.. I fail to see the diff. As long as she is safe it shouldn't matter. If a judge says he should get 50 /50 because its in the best interest of the child. Its not like he will work the entire time he has her. Ppl do get off work ya know. Sometimes u gotta do what u gotta do.
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happymommy1105
by Platinum Member on May. 11, 2012 at 1:58 PM
Well I'm just telling you how the court sees it.

Quoting momma4vr:


Quoting happymommy1105:

It doesn't matter how he does it. As long as the child is being properly cared for.



His time his discretion.

thats crap..but ok thanks...

i just dont see it workin out... i know how he is and he doesnt see his other dd who lives an hour away. its a crappy situation for all involved

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momma4vr
by on May. 11, 2012 at 1:58 PM


Quoting AF2011:

Sounds like you're trying to keep his child from him. Well its his dd too so you should really work something out

its been a cluster fuck all around.... theres alot more to the story... i want her all of the month except 1 week. i have to pay fulltime daycare because he fucks up on when he takes her... so even if shes not there i still have to pay that weeks tution. hes already fucked up on taking her before. he went months without seeing her on his own accord. im not trying to keep her from him but i am tryin to think whats best for her. i get no cs, he doesnt call, doesnt try and see her, tries to bully me over the phone. kwim?

momma4vr
by on May. 11, 2012 at 1:58 PM


Quoting angeleyes16:

 Same as a first shift job, only you're sleeping during the day rather than working.

yea but how do u care for ur kid then?

momma4vr
by on May. 11, 2012 at 2:00 PM

no i didnt mean to come off bitchy lol..im sick, and im stressed out cuz i know how he is. and i know hes not gonna take care of her... its just a bad issue.

Quoting happymommy1105:

Well I'm just telling you how the court sees it.

Quoting momma4vr:


Quoting happymommy1105:

It doesn't matter how he does it. As long as the child is being properly cared for.



His time his discretion.

thats crap..but ok thanks...

i just dont see it workin out... i know how he is and he doesnt see his other dd who lives an hour away. its a crappy situation for all involved


happymommy1105
by Platinum Member on May. 11, 2012 at 2:05 PM
You just come off as controlling.

And I'm not trying to be rude but unless you can prove him unfit by family court standards, it doesn't matter.

A family court judge will flat out tell you to mind your own business. That as long as the child is properly cared for, it doesn't matter.


Quoting momma4vr:

no i didnt mean to come off bitchy lol..im sick, and im stressed out cuz i know how he is. and i know hes not gonna take care of her... its just a bad issue.

Quoting happymommy1105:

Well I'm just telling you how the court sees it.



Quoting momma4vr:


Quoting happymommy1105:

It doesn't matter how he does it. As long as the child is being properly cared for.





His time his discretion.

thats crap..but ok thanks...

i just dont see it workin out... i know how he is and he doesnt see his other dd who lives an hour away. its a crappy situation for all involved


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WesAndNicksMom
by Silver Member on May. 11, 2012 at 2:07 PM

If the child is 2 and not in school, how would it matter what shift it was?

owl0210
by on May. 11, 2012 at 2:07 PM
Do you have joint legal custody when it comes to making medical, schooling and/or childcare decisions? If this girlfriend is on and off who is going to watch her when they break up?
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momma4vr
by on May. 11, 2012 at 2:08 PM

well we have until sept 25th to come to an agreement. he doesnt care about seeing her as much as he doesnt want to pay cs. hes 1500 in the hole now...and has no plans on paying it. i am the one taking care of dd, i am the one paying full costs for everything he doesnt do anything...im just trying to do whats best for her...and he has yet to prove he can take care of her...esp cuz he told the judge to make me move back. cuz he doesnt wanna drive half way... the judge told him to fuck off basically without saying that lol

Quoting happymommy1105:

You just come off as controlling.

And I'm not trying to be rude but unless you can prove him unfit by family court standards, it doesn't matter.

A family court judge will flat out tell you to mind your own business. That as long as the child is properly cared for, it doesn't matter.


Quoting momma4vr:

no i didnt mean to come off bitchy lol..im sick, and im stressed out cuz i know how he is. and i know hes not gonna take care of her... its just a bad issue.

Quoting happymommy1105:

Well I'm just telling you how the court sees it.



Quoting momma4vr:


Quoting happymommy1105:

It doesn't matter how he does it. As long as the child is being properly cared for.





His time his discretion.

thats crap..but ok thanks...

i just dont see it workin out... i know how he is and he doesnt see his other dd who lives an hour away. its a crappy situation for all involved



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