Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

My mom thinks I'm in an abusive relationship... **update for those who've replied**

Posted by on May. 12, 2012 at 7:58 PM
  • 298 Replies

My Fiance and I have been together for a year. We are having our first baby together and I love him very much. He's a sweetheart, he does the cutest little things for me to make me smile. I moved in with him and things got a little weird...

He'd tell me I couldn't wear certain things like shorts and v neck shirts. I didn't think too much into it because I thought he just didn't want other men staring at me, some guys are like that. Then he'd get upset if I was doing something to my hair like straightning it or blow drying it if I was going to work..he won't let me hang out with my friends, I couldn't even go out to lunch with my SIL. He fights with me if I go on the computer, which I guess I shouldn't be on the computer but he's at work so I'm on it anyways..I don't ever do anything wrong on the computer.

He'll say things like "you're a stupid bitch" if I make a mistake, but he has anger problems and I know he does, after his anger calms down he says he's sorry and didn't mean it.

I mean yeah we fight, but nothing bad has ever really happened...my mom told me to google signs of an abusive relationship and she told me most of the signs fit my Fiance.

Does it sound like an abusive relationship to you? Or is my mom being overprotective?

 

**I've been at my mom's all weekend with my kids because my Fiance is working all weekend and all we've been doing is arguing and fighting to I decided to come stay with my mom for the weekend. I've been here all weekend and haven't really spoken to him lately only because everytime we do something or another is brought up and we fight again. I've actually had a very good weekend with my family and my kids and I'm enjoying my mother's day and the beautiful weather we are having today. Sorry I haven't posted back on this today. I already know I should leave and I have every intention on it, just trying to enjoy what's left of my weekend and mother's day without arguing and fighting with him some more.

Also, some are claiming I'm lieing about this problem but why would I lie? I honestly didn't even think of it as me being abused I thought of it as him being overprotective and insecure. I know there's emotional and mental abuse I just never thought that is what he was doing to me. Like I said I've never really been in an abusive situation, my ex was a POS but he wasn't abusive towards me, he was just a dumba** and made stupid choices. Obviously I knew this wasn't really normal behavior of someone but like I said I thought it was just him being insecure and overprotective. But now that I've actually sat down and looked up signs of an abusive relationships it was an eye opener that things could very well get worse if I continue to stay in this relationship. Luckily I have a very strong and supportive family that will have my back through all of this so I find the strength to leave and not come back.

From here on out it should be a time for me and my kids. For me to go back to school like I've wanted to to further my education and get the career I really want, without him holding me back like he has been. For me to enjoy my family and friends like I SHOULD be able to without being treated like crap for it. For me to be able to wear what I like and not get in trouble for it. It was a good thing that I got an eye opener before we got married and then I was REALLY stuck...

Anyway. There's not much at the house for me to worry about getting at the moment, luckily my parents kept my bedroom and my son's bedroom the way it was before I moved out lol so we all have a place to sleep and the things we need. I don't plan on living with my mom for long, just long enough to have this baby and save enough money to find somewhere else to live on my own.

Thank you everyone for the advice :) This weekend has really opened my eyes...it all just breaks my heart because I really thought him and I had something special...and we did until I moved in with him...and then his true colors came out...

Lilypie First Birthday tickersLilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
                                 Lilypie - (dCon)

by on May. 12, 2012 at 7:58 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
priincessz
by Silver Member on May. 12, 2012 at 8:00 PM
17 moms liked this
He's controlling you. That turns into physical abuse.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ShesALady
by on May. 12, 2012 at 8:00 PM
Yes. Emotional and verbal for sure. Your mom's right. I'm sorry. Are you unhappy? Or do you not mind the controlling?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mama2ameira
by Miss Christina on May. 12, 2012 at 8:01 PM
4 moms liked this
are you serious? yes you're in an abusive relationship.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
metalhealthmom
by on May. 12, 2012 at 8:01 PM
Yes. That's abuse.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Jaxsonsmama2009
by Silver Member on May. 12, 2012 at 8:02 PM


Quoting mama2ameira:

are you serious? yes you're in an abusive relationship.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
happymommy1105
by Platinum Member on May. 12, 2012 at 8:02 PM
4 moms liked this
Your mom is definitely right.

It will.only get worse from here. Get out now.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
strictmomhere
by Platinum Member on May. 12, 2012 at 8:03 PM
2 moms liked this
Your moms spot on get out hun it will get worst
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Due9
by on May. 12, 2012 at 8:03 PM
1 mom liked this

Your mom is absolutely right. Please beware because this will only escalate.

MaNdYbEaR2010
by on May. 12, 2012 at 8:03 PM
1 mom liked this
If he ever finds this post he's going to beat the snot out of you for disobeying. So yes, I'd say abusive.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sandra_t00
by ChaChi on May. 12, 2012 at 8:03 PM
controlling like a mo fo
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)