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Wow... My pediatrician asked me if my kids have the same father... *Edit - pic added* *2nd pic added*

I took my kids to the doctor today..  my baby boy had his 2 year check up, and my baby girl has had a cough for almost two weeks, so I made them both an appt on the same day.

Their regular doc was out of town, so we saw his partner, who they have never seen before.

My  youngest two are 13 months apart, and my son is pretty big for his age.  He is 37 inches tall and 35lbs and just turned 2 on Saturday. 

My daughter is 10.5 months old, and has always been on the smaller side.  She is 26 inches long, and not quite 17lbs. 

The doctor measured and weighed them both, and then plotted them on the growth charts, and looked at me with a puzzled look on his face, and said "Do both of your children have the same father?  Their growth patterns are almost completely opposite, and that's not usually typical of siblings with the same parents."

When I responded "Yes, they do"...  he seemed even more puzzled, and said "Are you positive?" 

OMG!!!!!!  I almost walked out.... 

There's really no point to this story, I just needed to share.  I'm soooo irritated!!!!!!!!!!

**EDIT**

This is a pic I took of the two little ones today.  They are thirteen months apart.  He turned two on Saturday, and she will be one the beginning of July.  To me, their size difference is not that huge, and she definitely is not unhealthily small...  She's just short.  Nothing about them warrants a "do they have the same father... are you positive?" response from a pediatrician.

*** EDIT 2 ****

Here is a pic of me and their dad for reference...  He is about 6'4" and I'm 5'1" (I'm wearing boots with a heel in this pic).  He is very big, and I'm on the smaller side.  Their regular pediatrician has seen both of us, and has no concerns about either of their growth patterns.  It's pretty obvious that the boys take after him, and our daughter takes after me.  Both of our heights are recorded in all three children's charts, as well as their familial history.  It would have been very easy to flip back a couple pages in the chart and see all that information if he had his doubts. 

by on May. 15, 2012 at 2:21 PM
Replies (1021-1030):
amok42
by on May. 21, 2012 at 10:49 AM

I'd understand that question if one of them had your Blond hair & blue eyes, but, just based on growth patterns?? Did he actually LOOK at the kids?? Wow!

renijazzysmom
by Tiffanie on May. 21, 2012 at 10:51 AM
Your kids are adorable
chalisa0
by Kim on May. 21, 2012 at 10:53 AM

 Your kids look just the same.  I can't believe anyone would ever question if they have the same father.

karla4044
by on May. 21, 2012 at 12:54 PM
Your kids are so adorable.
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LavenderMom23
by on May. 21, 2012 at 1:08 PM

First off ya'll are beautiful! Second, that kind of unprofessionalism is uncalled for and I would mention the comment the next time you see their regular doctor.

lissa420
by Member on May. 21, 2012 at 9:23 PM
That is just rude. I would told him where to go and I would also let your regular dr know how you were treated. That's just terrible practice. Your children are precious and look just alike.
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minga272
by on May. 23, 2012 at 8:52 AM

Oh, well then take your records, leave, and file some sort of grievance or complaint against his license.  Picket, go to the local news.  Nail his ass to the wall.  No person should be subject to this incredible injustice again.

Quoting lovemy3littles:

I am very well aware of what happens in doctor's offices.  I'm a nurse.  And like I said, I'm not upset that he asked me. 

However, I don't think it was a medically necessary question...  she is small, but not unhealthy.  She is growing within her curve, and is and always has been proportionate.  She has maintained in the 5-10% since birth.  She has recently been in the 10-15% for weight, but regardless she is perfectly healthy.  And in addition to that, he didn't even say anything relating to her size or growth other than that it was different from her brother.  No mention of concern of her not growing enough, no questions about her diet, no mention of the size of other family members... nothing.  It was not a medically necessary question. 

He was judging me and my kids based on their size difference, and assumed that they had two different fathers.  It was very clear from his facial expressions that he did not believe me, and I find that incredibly offensive. 

If there was something medically related about them that worried him based on the difference in their size, he made no mention of it.

In my opinion, it was rude and uncalled for, and I absolutely took offense to it.  He wasn't concerned, or trying to be "joking"... he was being condescending, and rude. 

Quoting minga272:

Some people aren't forthcoming even to a direct question, even if they are being asked by a medical professional.  While "are you sure" isn't tactful, he probably wasn't sure if you were answering reflexively or truthfully.  
You'd be surprised in an office how often asking or repeating a question will get a nurse or a doctor a different answer the second time.  If something is concerning enough to ask once, it's concerning enough to ask twice.
Pediatricians are generally more soft in "bedside manner" but I've worked for doctors that are so focused on a potential problem with the patient that they don't pick words based on feelings more on how can I get to information as directly as possible. 

Quoting lovemy3littles:

It wasn't so much the fact that he asked....  it was that after I told him yes, he asked me if I was positive.

Yes, she is small for her age, but she has always been small, and is growing within her curve.  She has always been in the 5-10%.  I'm short, and small.  She takes after me. 

I just found it incredibly rude that he second guess me about my children's paternity, based simply off of my two children's size difference.  Neither is unhealthy, and both are proportionate and growing within their curve.

Quoting coleysmama:

He gave you a legitimate reason for asking. He seemed to be concerned about  something. I wouldn't be offended.Its part of a child's medical history.

It is a question that I've been asked also by doctors for my last child because of different issues he's had.





Michellina11234
by on May. 23, 2012 at 8:54 AM

Time to research a new doctor for the kids. How rude.

eleni1010
by on May. 23, 2012 at 9:51 PM

wow, your kids are super cute and totally look like siblings!!! ok so your son looks like a 3 yr old not a 2 yr old but i have that same problem with my son, he is 3.5 and looks like he is 5! my daughter is on the bigger side too but whatever... who knows what i would have done with that doctor. probably kicked him in the face with those high heeled boots!! lol.

damiensmom2011
by on May. 25, 2012 at 11:18 PM
1 mom liked this

I'd complain to management or something. that is totally messed up!!!!

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