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Father's day for SO's?

Posted by on May. 16, 2012 at 11:28 AM
  • 18 Replies

My SO has been a father to my kids for the past year in every sense of the word. My kids are just toddlers, the oldest being 4. They have only seen their dad once in the past year and have talked to him a handful of times on the phone. My SO has been with my "baby" (2 and a half) more than my ex ever has.

My SO is great with my kids. He does everything a biological dad would. He loves them and they love him. I mean, when he decided to buy a house he bought a 4 bedroom home with specific rooms in mind for my kids.

Anyway, I am pregnant with his first child, a little boy. But would it be appropriate for my kids to get something/make something for my SO. I am getting him a folding picture frame with his favorite picture of my kids in one frame and a sono in the other frame, but what would you get your kids to do, if anything, if you were in my situation?

by on May. 16, 2012 at 11:28 AM
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Replies (1-10):
jillbailey26
by on May. 16, 2012 at 11:29 AM
1 mom liked this

I think they should make something for their biological dad, in case they see him, and something for your SO because he's there everyday.


"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"  Romans 14:19

zugichbaby6
by on May. 16, 2012 at 11:32 AM
I would definately have them do that for him ;)
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MicheleJM
by Platinum Member on May. 16, 2012 at 11:32 AM


Quoting jillbailey26:

I think they should make something for their biological dad, in case they see him, and something for your SO because he's there everyday.

This...

MommaOfThree789
by on May. 16, 2012 at 11:37 AM

I'll probably get them to make something for their bio dad. He's thousands of miles away and didn't even acknowledge the cards they made last year. My oldest was very upset :( Hopefully he's not such a butt head this year.

Quoting MicheleJM:


Quoting jillbailey26:

I think they should make something for their biological dad, in case they see him, and something for your SO because he's there everyday.

This...


jillbailey26
by on May. 16, 2012 at 11:39 AM

When they're old enough you'll have to explain, in a kid-way, that they can't control his reaction, but they can keep trying to keep that connection with him.  You don't ever want it to come back to you guys with "they never tried" as an excuse for him to give up.  Not that you would or anything.

Quoting MommaOfThree789:

I'll probably get them to make something for their bio dad. He's thousands of miles away and didn't even acknowledge the cards they made last year. My oldest was very upset :( Hopefully he's not such a butt head this year.

Quoting MicheleJM:


Quoting jillbailey26:

I think they should make something for their biological dad, in case they see him, and something for your SO because he's there everyday.

This...




"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"  Romans 14:19

MicheleJM
by Platinum Member on May. 16, 2012 at 11:47 AM


Quoting jillbailey26:

When they're old enough you'll have to explain, in a kid-way, that they can't control his reaction, but they can keep trying to keep that connection with him.  You don't ever want it to come back to you guys with "they never tried" as an excuse for him to give up.  Not that you would or anything.

Quoting MommaOfThree789:

I'll probably get them to make something for their bio dad. He's thousands of miles away and didn't even acknowledge the cards they made last year. My oldest was very upset :( Hopefully he's not such a butt head this year.

Quoting MicheleJM:

 

Quoting jillbailey26:

I think they should make something for their biological dad, in case they see him, and something for your SO because he's there everyday.

This...



Yeah but if he doesn't acknowledge it then that shit gets old.  I can see one day the children saying "why bother? Bio dad doesn't care".   In that instance all you can do is say to your ex "you know what you brought their indifference to you upon yourself by not even so much as picking up a phone to say hey I got your card, thanks."

CABZS
by Ruby Member on May. 16, 2012 at 11:48 AM

Yes it would be appropriate.

My son is now 12 & still makes sure he gets my DH something, they love each other very much & have a father son bond.

jillbailey26
by on May. 16, 2012 at 11:49 AM


Quoting MicheleJM:


Quoting jillbailey26:

When they're old enough you'll have to explain, in a kid-way, that they can't control his reaction, but they can keep trying to keep that connection with him.  You don't ever want it to come back to you guys with "they never tried" as an excuse for him to give up.  Not that you would or anything.

Quoting MommaOfThree789:

I'll probably get them to make something for their bio dad. He's thousands of miles away and didn't even acknowledge the cards they made last year. My oldest was very upset :( Hopefully he's not such a butt head this year.

Quoting MicheleJM:


Quoting jillbailey26:

I think they should make something for their biological dad, in case they see him, and something for your SO because he's there everyday.

This...



Yeah but if he doesn't acknowledge it then that shit gets old.  I can see one day the children saying "why bother? Bio dad doesn't care".   In that instance all you can do is say to your ex "you know what you brought their indifference to you upon yourself by not even so much as picking up a phone to say hey I got your card, thanks."

When they get older and can decide that for themselves, sure.  While they're still young, I say keep sending cards.  If they're older they can at least tell their bio-father that they're tired of it, in their own words.


"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"  Romans 14:19

MicheleJM
by Platinum Member on May. 16, 2012 at 11:53 AM


Quoting jillbailey26:


Quoting MicheleJM:

 

Quoting jillbailey26:

When they're old enough you'll have to explain, in a kid-way, that they can't control his reaction, but they can keep trying to keep that connection with him.  You don't ever want it to come back to you guys with "they never tried" as an excuse for him to give up.  Not that you would or anything.

Quoting MommaOfThree789:

I'll probably get them to make something for their bio dad. He's thousands of miles away and didn't even acknowledge the cards they made last year. My oldest was very upset :( Hopefully he's not such a butt head this year.

Quoting MicheleJM:

 

Quoting jillbailey26:

I think they should make something for their biological dad, in case they see him, and something for your SO because he's there everyday.

This...



Yeah but if he doesn't acknowledge it then that shit gets old.  I can see one day the children saying "why bother? Bio dad doesn't care".   In that instance all you can do is say to your ex "you know what you brought their indifference to you upon yourself by not even so much as picking up a phone to say hey I got your card, thanks."

When they get older and can decide that for themselves, sure.  While they're still young, I say keep sending cards.  If they're older they can at least tell their bio-father that they're tired of it, in their own words.

I agree for now they should try to send cards regardless of how the dad takes them.  If later on they refuse to do it then the bio dad has no one but himself to blame.

super_mom_5
by on May. 16, 2012 at 12:00 PM

i would ask them if they want to make something for bio dad or not and see if they want to make something for you so. They are kids and even though they are young they kinda understand who is around and who is not. Thats why i did with my kids. 4 of them are not mind biologically and their bio mom used to come and go as she pleased and would be gone for weeks to months at a time and act like it was no big deal. I would give my girls the option to do anyting nice for her on mothers day and most of the time they said no and only gave me something. When she got mad my dh and i told her that the kids didnt want to, their decision not ours.

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