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Why now??? Ugggg 1 month to prepare ugggg!!!!! Long and Need HELP!!!!!!

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Ok back story I left my ex when DD was 1 and DS was 3. My ex had become abusive prior to me leaving and I was trying to leave even while pregnant with DD. 

The ex barely saw the kids and when he did he was the Disneyland type of parent though he always treated DD like shit.

In 2004 my mother got ill and I asked my ex if I could leave state to tend to my mother he said no. I had to go to court while dealing with court I got an offer to move to Hawaii so I put that in the paper work also. At this time my ex's rights were basically taken away. I left state Good Friday 2005. While I was away I kept the lines of communication open for the kids.

2008 I moved back to where I was from remarried but still keeping lines open. My ex had moved out of state and showed know intrest in seeing the kids. Mind you he still hasn't seen the kids since 2005!!!!

Fast forward its May 2012. DD is now 11 almost 12 DS is 13 almost 14. Neither of them want to speak to their bio father though I do all I can. They both of cell phones and I suggest every Sunday for them to call him. I am not going to force the subject.

Now my ex has decided he wants to drive from his state force the kids to stay with him a night or 2 in a hotel and be daddy to them. 

DD is freaking out. By mistake she left her phone at home today and I looked through her phone I find a txt to one of her girlfriends about what is going on. The girl is freaked. 

He will be here in less then a month. The state I am in will take 6 to 8 weeks for them to even move my court case to the location I am at. An going off the original visitation papers he has done everything other then the written letter that is required.

I have no clue what to do or what to say. My ex is a flight risk and has been in trouble with the law but due to the papers I think I have to force my child who is freaked to stay with this man she doesn't know.

Ladies help what to do????

Update 5/22/2012

I sat on the phone today trying to contact the courts. Finally got through to my local Family court and they said "oh know one told you that you have to file in your orginal county" WTF ok called the orginal county "sorry ma'am either you fly here or move back here we don't care if you have a move away order you must speak to the judge" WTF Ok is there anyway I can file for move of courts yeah print the 48 page packet send it to use and we'll see about getting you a phone hearing WTF. 

Ladies I am soo stressed. DD did not want to go to school she is scared he is going to show up and just take her. I spoke to my ex today and he stated he filed some thing with the courts and that I need to sign and agree or else!!! He wouldn't tell me what it was just need to sign, agree or else!!!

by on May. 22, 2012 at 12:54 AM
Replies (11-20):
Aichia
by on May. 22, 2012 at 1:08 AM
1 mom liked this
You've git to protect your kids. While not a big proponent if defying court orders if your kids flip out that much the tell him no. If he is wanted he won't call the cops & if he does he'll be arrested. If not then odds are the cops will say its a civil matter & go to court

Quoting Momof2Stepof3:

He is using the half ass visitation that the judge set up, as the judge didn't even think he'd ever follow it. Now its been uggg 8 years and he through the damn thing up saying he gave the notice I must let him see the kids.

Quoting Aichia:

Don't let them go, if they don't want to go don't force it. If he wants to see them make it supervised. You said his rights where terminated then he can't demand or force anything


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KRMomma
by on May. 22, 2012 at 1:09 AM

 He hasn't seen them in 8 years? No friggin way would I let them go. Not a chance in hell. If he wanted to play daddy he should have been around the whole time. Pisses me off when parents think they can waltz in and out of their kids lives and really expect it to not cause problems or harm for the kid. I'm sure she is terrified.

strictmomhere
by Platinum Member on May. 22, 2012 at 1:10 AM
Dont make them go make sure there not home when he shows up
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Momof2Stepof3
by Platinum Member on May. 22, 2012 at 1:12 AM

When I addressed her about the txt all she did was cling to me and sob. What was in the txt I was proud of her but told her she really needs to tell her bio dad how she feel and she even needs to tell her step dad because what was in the txt said basically her bio dad just gave the sperm so she could have a wonderful mom and dad.

Quoting KRMomma:

 He hasn't seen them in 8 years? No friggin way would I let them go. Not a chance in hell. If he wanted to play daddy he should have been around the whole time. Pisses me off when parents think they can waltz in and out of their kids lives and really expect it to not cause problems or harm for the kid. I'm sure she is terrified.


lovebeingmrs
by on May. 22, 2012 at 1:13 AM
I am so lucky I won't have to worry about this. I have full custody of my children. My ex like your is a looser/deadbeat. He told the judge to give me whatever I wanted cause he wanted to and I quote "move on with my life". Plus he has two warrants out right now so he won't dare come around me

Quoting Momof2Stepof3:

Thankfully he doesn't know my physical address only my post office box. I was to get around to drawing up papers to give notice of my new address but with him being out of sight out of mind I never did it a plus for me, I guess.

Quoting lovebeingmrs:

If he has the balls to show up, I wouldn't answer te door. I would call the cops seeing he is wanted. Protect your children at all cost.



Quoting Momof2Stepof3:

I want to go back to court but it will take 6 to 8 weeks for the courts to move my case from southern to northern. An the ass hole gave me a months notice all that has ever been asked for.

I never feared this day or never thought this day would come. 

He doesn't pay child support and he is in some trouble. I need to find out about his warrants in this state just not sure where to look for warrants.

Quoting lovebeingmrs:

Well seeing the age your children are, they are old enough to make that choice themself. He can't force them to do anything. You have the right to say no, if so you need to go back to court and let the judge talk to your children



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lovebeingmrs
by on May. 22, 2012 at 1:15 AM
What a jerk to say that to his daughter

Quoting Momof2Stepof3:

When I addressed her about the txt all she did was cling to me and sob. What was in the txt I was proud of her but told her she really needs to tell her bio dad how she feel and she even needs to tell her step dad because what was in the txt said basically her bio dad just gave the sperm so she could have a wonderful mom and dad.

Quoting KRMomma:

 He hasn't seen them in 8 years? No friggin way would I let them go. Not a chance in hell. If he wanted to play daddy he should have been around the whole time. Pisses me off when parents think they can waltz in and out of their kids lives and really expect it to not cause problems or harm for the kid. I'm sure she is terrified.


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Momof2Stepof3
by Platinum Member on May. 22, 2012 at 1:15 AM

I'm heading to the courts Wednesday morning demanding help because I honestly need all the help I can. I have left messages with lawyers this is a simple case I'm sure. I am just hoping I can find some one with a kind heart and understand we have no money and this just came up. I am so kicking myself in the ass for being uncaring and unthinking that this could happen.

Quoting Aichia:

You've git to protect your kids. While not a big proponent if defying court orders if your kids flip out that much the tell him no. If he is wanted he won't call the cops & if he does he'll be arrested. If not then odds are the cops will say its a civil matter & go to court

Quoting Momof2Stepof3:

He is using the half ass visitation that the judge set up, as the judge didn't even think he'd ever follow it. Now its been uggg 8 years and he through the damn thing up saying he gave the notice I must let him see the kids.

Quoting Aichia:

Don't let them go, if they don't want to go don't force it. If he wants to see them make it supervised. You said his rights where terminated then he can't demand or force anything



KRMomma
by on May. 22, 2012 at 1:16 AM

 I'm a custodial step mom who fights like hell for her stepson. His safety, health and well being is all that matters to DH and I. If his BM was like that there is not one chance in hell I would let him go. I would defy the order and just deal with it down the road.

drgnflymum
by on May. 22, 2012 at 1:16 AM
You can still say no. Your kids have rights. If your DD hasn't ever seen him and obviously he literally doesn't have rights. Just say the kids don't want to see you. Call the police station find out your rights there keep them posted. He shows up to make a scene call them. If he doesn't pay child support he broke the agreement court date or none! My husband has to many coworkers that go through this. Your kids are old enough to say no! No worries say 'we are out of town then anything'
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Momof2Stepof3
by Platinum Member on May. 22, 2012 at 1:17 AM

She is the one that stated it not him. 

Quoting lovebeingmrs:

What a jerk to say that to his daughter

Quoting Momof2Stepof3:

When I addressed her about the txt all she did was cling to me and sob. What was in the txt I was proud of her but told her she really needs to tell her bio dad how she feel and she even needs to tell her step dad because what was in the txt she wrote said basically her bio dad just gave the sperm so she could have a wonderful mom and dad.

Quoting KRMomma:

 He hasn't seen them in 8 years? No friggin way would I let them go. Not a chance in hell. If he wanted to play daddy he should have been around the whole time. Pisses me off when parents think they can waltz in and out of their kids lives and really expect it to not cause problems or harm for the kid. I'm sure she is terrified.



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