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not happy right now with my marriage need to vent!

Posted by on May. 26, 2012 at 12:10 AM
  • 29 Replies

OMG I am sooo irritated with my husband.. Lets start by saying the night before mothers day we got in a arguement and it ended in my mom and him arguing.. My mom was leaving to a hotel and I went with her and my kids. we were supposed to go to breakfast for mothers day but that was OBVIOUSLY ruined. This was there first arguement ever and we have been together for 5 years married for 1(he did apologize and the made up). A week ago he told me we dont have enough sex.. he was telling me that saturday when we just had sex the thursday before. He isnt very affectionate which I told him is a big factor in me wanting to even have sex. I think that is a need for a lot of women they want to be affectionate and feel all warm and fuzzy. He has been arguing with me about finances cause he wants to save money for us to move across the states to where he is from. I tell him how I think we should save and he doesnt listen. I feel like he is really hard on our oldest son now 4. Its like he will yell or scold him for everything. Tonight I talk to him about our oldest son and I was telling him he needs to try not to always yell at him (and its not like screaming at him but its like a scolding or saying your going to your room if you dont do this or that, or getting things taken away, sometimes it is yelling) it was like talking to a brick wall he doesnt even listen to me. Then tonight our sons seem to be coming down with colds.. the oldest wakes up and comes out of his room sayin hes scared hes been up laying on the couch and just talking or walking to get somethign I keep telling him to lay down. My youngest son just woke up crying and I kept telling my oldest ot go to sleep..all of a sudden my husband comes out and this time he bends over to intimidate my oldest and just YELLS at him to go to bed now.. I hate when he does that. like tries to put fear in him. so I yelled at dh and said go to bed I dont need you coming out here yellling at him I am taking care of it. I will yell at the kids but my yelling and his are completely different. And then he got mad and starts yelling at me as he heads back to bed. UGH I am sooo frustrated! We had a good marriage for a while the past couple weeks its just been miserable.. I want to fix things cause its not everyday we are fighting, im just so mad right now!!!

by on May. 26, 2012 at 12:10 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Snuggles20
by on May. 26, 2012 at 12:15 AM
Why does he want to move?
Does he have a reason or just because
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Caitlinmari
by on May. 26, 2012 at 12:17 AM

He hates where we live now and loves his hometown Boise.. We met in Idaho when I moved out their after highschool, I was supposed to just work at the resort for the summer, but met him got pregnant and then he lost his job so we moved back to Wisconsin by my family.. and he has always intended to move back to boise(all his family is there too).

VintageWife
by on May. 26, 2012 at 12:20 AM
I know how some of that is :/
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Caitlinmari
by on May. 26, 2012 at 12:23 AM


Quoting VintageWife:

I know how some of that is :/


Ugh it sucks! at times I think i should just leave but I am not ready for that.. our relationship has improved so much over the years but now the past couple weeks has been terrible off and on.

VintageWife
by on May. 26, 2012 at 12:24 AM
Stick with it. It's part of marriage. But tell him if the excessive yelling doesn't cease, you'll be signing him up for therapy.
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Caitlinmari
by on May. 26, 2012 at 12:27 AM


Quoting VintageWife:

Stick with it. It's part of marriage. But tell him if the excessive yelling doesn't cease, you'll be signing him up for therapy

Yea I am going to stick with it.. Its just in the moment I get so annoyed.

nikki32230
by on May. 26, 2012 at 12:28 AM
3 moms liked this
All marriages have ups and downs.... You just gotta pull through the bad stuff and stick it out....
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Liyoness
by on May. 26, 2012 at 12:31 AM
3 moms liked this

He sounds stressed. What are you doing to help him de-stress?

Get the Gail Vaz Oxlade budget sheet for your finances.

Start disciplining your kids so he doesn't have to walk in exasperated feeling like he has to be the disciplinarian.

Tell your mother to stay the hell out of your fights.

Him complaining on Saturday about not having enough sex when you just had sex on Thursday is his way of telling you, "hey, I really enjoyed that. Let's do it more often."

Other than that - you'll have to be a little more specific about what is going on if you want more targeted advice.

anotherhalf
by on May. 26, 2012 at 12:31 AM
You are just going through a rough time. DH sounds very stressed. When your both calm talk to him about the yelling. He must know that its destructive. To soften the blow you might want to start with what you think you could work on yourself. Make it about the both of you improving.
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Caitlinmari
by on May. 26, 2012 at 12:40 AM

Well when my mom and him fought it was because my husband was really yelling at me about some supposed cigarette burn in my car..IT WAS NON EXISTANT I dont smoke and do not let anyone smoke in my car(no one was even in my car that night).. it was after I went out to watch a band play with my mom and friend he got all upset and was trying to make up some excuse to be mad at me(he had some beers which im sure didnt help).. It was literally a tinnnnnyyyyyy like sticky thing on my seat i picked off. My mom just said there is no burn mark and even if there was a cigarette burn he doesnt have to yell at me the way he was and he just started YELLING at her.

I do discipline my kids. I will be discipling them and he will just come in and start trying to take over.. My kids are both in bed alwas by 8-8:30. tonight was very unusual.. our youngest 22 months usually will wake up and come sleep with us in the middle of the night. Our oldest usually never wakes up. I also work so its not like I have to be the only one dealing with kids.

And he went out golfing yesterday so i think that helped him relax and enjoy himself.

And his complaining about sex is irritating cause he needs to acknowledge my needs too.

Quoting Liyoness:

He sounds stressed. What are you doing to help him de-stress?

Get the Gail Vaz Oxlade budget sheet for your finances.

Start disciplining your kids so he doesn't have to walk in exasperated feeling like he has to be the disciplinarian.

Tell your mother to stay the hell out of your fights.

Him complaining on Saturday about not having enough sex when you just had sex on Thursday is his way of telling you, "hey, I really enjoyed that. Let's do it more often."

Other than that - you'll have to be a little more specific about what is going on if you want more targeted advice.


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