I left my STBX Dh several months ago. I felt sorry for him and allowed him to keep the house and didn't ask anything of him. I had hoped he'd contribute willingly. That has not been the case.
He is in over his head financially simply because he lives outside of his means. For this reason I'm grateful he never allowed me to have my name on anything. He was controlling but that protected my credit while he destroyed himself.
Now, however, I realized I need to stop being so kind for the sake of the kids. I need to get a CS order, no matter how much he complains.
It cannot always be about him, as it was for the last ten years. I really must gain some strength to be tough here.
Before anyone asks we are doing fine, but the extra money would help with trips, fun things for the children, and go into their accounts. It is also the principle of thing.
"What is a man, if chief good, and market of his time be but to sleep and feed? A beast, no more." Hamlet