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Could You Ever Be a Surrogate Like This CafeMom member?

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Stephanie's own parents had fostered children when she was growing up, but she and her husband weren't in a position to do the same. Instead, she decided to help a couple who couldn't carry a child on their own by being their surrogate. And wait until you hear about the delivery - there was a BIG surprise at the birth!

Do you think you could be a surrogate for another couple? Or have any of you been on the donating or receiving end of assisted fertility - donor sperm or eggs?

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by on May. 27, 2012 at 11:29 AM
Replies (301-310):
atyou
by on May. 28, 2012 at 7:04 PM

I appreciate your reply. 


My situation is a bit different from yours.  I have a gene mutation MTHR1 which causes blood clots specifically during pregnancy.  I was obviously unaware of this in my first pregnancy - until 33 weeks when I had a severe placental abruption.  A large clot seperated the placenta from the uterine wall - resulting in an emergency c-section, a tiny sick newborn, and a month in the NICU.    My OB at the time chalked the abruption up to a fluke - and did not perform additinal testing to see WHY it happened.  So after my first born - I was still unaware of the gene mutation. 

Fast forward 2 years - I'm pregnant again with my son.  New OB - they are aware of previous abruption but assure me the chances of reoccurance are something like 2%.  They did moniter me a bit more closely than normal.  At exactly 34 weeks gestation - you guessed it.....severe placental abruption resulting in an emergency section.  My son was born dead. He was resuscitated, vented and placed on cooling blankets immediately after birth.  NICU stay.  My daughter fared far better at birth than he did.  It was only then that my doctor took labs and did extensive testing. 

I hold myself accountable for the second abruption.  If I had demanded testing after the first abruption....and not TRUSTED my doctor - the chance of a second abruption could have been reduced with a daily dose of baby asprin.  At this point - after 2 severe placental abruptions - the chance of reoccurance is more than 30%.  For me....the risk is far too high.  Abruptions have a scary high maternal and infant death rate. 

Both of my children are happy and healthy today.  You'd never know their rough starts in life by looking at them.  We are blessed beyond comprehension that we all came through this....alive.


Thanks again for your thoughtful reply! 

Quoting Ihold8Stars:

Have DVT told not to get preg again in may 2002 had dvt lead to pancreas attack.

Had my bash no complications sep 2004 by a team of perintologist after was told no reason could have more babies but most doctors are fearful and assume dvt blood clots run hand in hand but truth is you can have clots move at anytime... And there are injections you can take to insure blood doesn't clot or get to thin..

I just had to say something cuz had I not had my lovely accident I wouldn't have tried again I just got very lucky getting prego so soon after my dvt that by time I was being warned I was prego already. Many women are told samething an have babies no issues.


Quoting atyou:

=(







I couldn't either. Blood clotting disorder. No more babies.......ever.



Quoting Aydans_Mommy:

If I had an uterus maybe.


mommy2annaliese
by on May. 28, 2012 at 7:09 PM

You can donate your eggs for the same amount which is MUCH less emotionally taxing than being a surrogate, in the end you dont carry a baby for months and then have to part with it.

hell no I wouldn't surrogate, but i would donate eggs, currently have an offer for 10k and still thinking on it.

Quoting krystlzd3:

Hmm...well....let's see...the average I have heard is $10,000. 10,000/9 is 1,111.11 a month. OR you could do 10,000/40 is 250 a week. Take the 250/5 which is $50 a day or $6.25 an hour if you were to work a full time job....that is $3 less than minimun wage in my state. It is not worth doing for the money.


atyou
by on May. 28, 2012 at 7:11 PM

I also want to say Congratulations to you on your sucessful pregnancies! 


How are you doing now? Do you have long lasting issues from the DVT?

Quoting Ihold8Stars:

Have DVT told not to get preg again in may 2002 had dvt lead to pancreas attack.

Had my bash no complications sep 2004 by a team of perintologist after was told no reason could have more babies but most doctors are fearful and assume dvt blood clots run hand in hand but truth is you can have clots move at anytime... And there are injections you can take to insure blood doesn't clot or get to thin..

I just had to say something cuz had I not had my lovely accident I wouldn't have tried again I just got very lucky getting prego so soon after my dvt that by time I was being warned I was prego already. Many women are told samething an have babies no issues.


Quoting atyou:

=(







I couldn't either. Blood clotting disorder. No more babies.......ever.



Quoting Aydans_Mommy:

If I had an uterus maybe.


mommy2annaliese
by on May. 28, 2012 at 7:15 PM

I couldn't do it because of the emotional reasons, and because I HATE being pegnant.

but those who do are brave and selfless.

FutureSoccerM0m
by Platinum Member on May. 28, 2012 at 8:33 PM

No, I don't think I could.

1Trixie
by on May. 28, 2012 at 10:41 PM

 And wait until you hear about the delivery - there was a BIG surprise at the birth! 

What was the "BIG" surprise, did I miss something?

Bonneata
by Bronze Member on May. 29, 2012 at 12:31 AM
I would do this for my best friend who would do anything for second child and I would do it for a couple who cannot conceive. I was unable to conceive until was 30 but still didn't get my hopes up. Giving someone else the joy I get from raising my ds would be worth it. Granted I will admit I worry about the emotional ramifications myself.
OVZ
by on May. 29, 2012 at 12:45 AM

No. I can not imagine caring a child for 9 months and to be parted at the birth. Personally to me it's the same as selling your own child. I do praise the woman that can go through it without emotional brake down. Even if they do it solely for money, 20,000 is really nothing compared to what they give to people that pay for it.  

Ihold8Stars
by on May. 29, 2012 at 3:44 AM
Oh my gosh your so lucky! I've never even heard of your condition until now.

It seems like a reoccuring thing with doctors not being aware or just assuming. I think it's better to be safe then sorry and if it's a matter of test costing money I think doctors should give us the option regardless of what they feel we can afford or what they deem probably nothing...

I'm dealing with ppcm I've had 8 children and after my last I felt so tired all the time and lots of strange pains I never had before.

All the doctors I had seen (10 er visits) stated it was my body getting older.. But I knew it was something just didn't know it was this bad.

I ended up delivering early by a few wks when at my final doctor visit a ultra sound showed water around baby was nearly gone & my blood presure was high.

I felt tired could seem to recover delivery, my son Silas is perfect in every way but me it's like I've aged x 3 in 2 years

I had my son sep 19 2009 at exactly 00:00 lol midnight.. The nurses joked Jesus has arrived since some gossip paper at that time predicted he would return 9/9/9

I did not find out I had ppcm until motherday the following year! I had caught phenmonia ended up on life support fought a heart infection,sepsis was a true nightmare and I'm beyond stars lucky to be here.

I was on transplant list but a miracle happened something none of my many doctors had ever seen or thought could happen.

In 4 months I went from a LV heart funtion of 15% schduled to be airlifted to Chicago heart hospital for a robotic heart until hopefully a transplant came for me.

To 75% funtioning! A normal persons hearts Lv is like 60% nobodys at 100.

All I did was stop eatting salt went on a low sodium diet under 1200mg a day and took my cardiac cocktail daily of cardivol, lisinopril,digoxin,sparolactone,baby asprin.

My doctors honestly were shocked, my heart doctor said he's not very religious but thinks this is a miracle and instead of questioning just be thankful.

I'm sure you understand the feeling of knowing you honestly dodged death. I live with a great deal of respect for life now then ever before! Things thatmay have been a big deal just don't seem so important anymore:)

I think maybe us moms should share medical condition info maybe just like gossip travels our stories can reach enough ears so maybe another mom doesn't have to learn the hard way.

I never knew what PPCM was and my first search online brought me to a YouTube video " Bambies Story" if you watch it be ready to cry, imagine just being told this is what you have and not finding much info on it, imagine how I felt watching this for the first time- I had hope and then pretty much lost all hope after watching it but thankful somebody put info out there!

Since I've met a few ladies with PPCM it is deadly and effects alot of women but tests cost money so unfortunate many moms don't find out they have it until it's to late :(

I'm one of the lucky ones. If your a new soon to be first time mom ask about ppcm if your like me and have alot of children ask about ppcm- these are the 2 most affected types of women who get ppcm and being healthy prior is normal it happens to all races,ages and with early detection is very fixable/control able.

Mine was caught way too late & honestly I shouldn't be here least not with my own heart, but I am <3 God every day he gives me!


Quoting atyou:

I appreciate your reply. 


My situation is a bit different from yours.  I have a gene mutation MTHR1 which causes blood clots specifically during pregnancy.  I was obviously unaware of this in my first pregnancy - until 33 weeks when I had a severe placental abruption.  A large clot seperated the placenta from the uterine wall - resulting in an emergency c-section, a tiny sick newborn, and a month in the NICU.    My OB at the time chalked the abruption up to a fluke - and did not perform additinal testing to see WHY it happened.  So after my first born - I was still unaware of the gene mutation. 

Fast forward 2 years - I'm pregnant again with my son.  New OB - they are aware of previous abruption but assure me the chances of reoccurance are something like 2%.  They did moniter me a bit more closely than normal.  At exactly 34 weeks gestation - you guessed it.....severe placental abruption resulting in an emergency section.  My son was born dead. He was resuscitated, vented and placed on cooling blankets immediately after birth.  NICU stay.  My daughter fared far better at birth than he did.  It was only then that my doctor took labs and did extensive testing. 

I hold myself accountable for the second abruption.  If I had demanded testing after the first abruption....and not TRUSTED my doctor - the chance of a second abruption could have been reduced with a daily dose of baby asprin.  At this point - after 2 severe placental abruptions - the chance of reoccurance is more than 30%.  For me....the risk is far too high.  Abruptions have a scary high maternal and infant death rate. 

Both of my children are happy and healthy today.  You'd never know their rough starts in life by looking at them.  We are blessed beyond comprehension that we all came through this....alive.


Thanks again for your thoughtful reply! 

Quoting Ihold8Stars:

Have DVT told not to get preg again in may 2002 had dvt lead to pancreas attack.



Had my bash no complications sep 2004 by a team of perintologist after was told no reason could have more babies but most doctors are fearful and assume dvt blood clots run hand in hand but truth is you can have clots move at anytime... And there are injections you can take to insure blood doesn't clot or get to thin..



I just had to say something cuz had I not had my lovely accident I wouldn't have tried again I just got very lucky getting prego so soon after my dvt that by time I was being warned I was prego already. Many women are told samething an have babies no issues.





Quoting atyou:

=(











I couldn't either. Blood clotting disorder. No more babies.......ever.





Quoting Aydans_Mommy:

If I had an uterus maybe.




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Ihold8Stars
by on May. 29, 2012 at 4:37 AM
Surprise.. She had a baby! Lmao I was thinking the samething like wow maybe she had one them unique births where a women can be pregnant by 2 men can you imagine having their baby and one of your own that would be an awesome surprise but this was just like ok so she had boys wanted a girl couldn't adopt but obviously could get pregnant so why not just ger pregnant try for a girl? Yet I read comment that it wasn't for the money?

Just doesn't make sense hoe do u go from helping by adopting to just making another child instead of allowing this childless couple the ability to adopt.

This doesn't help orphans at all.


Quoting 1Trixie:

 And wait until you hear about the delivery - there was a BIG surprise at the birth! 

What was the "BIG" surprise, did I miss something?


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