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I don't know who the father is..

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Please do not judge or make fun of me..believe me, I never in a million years wanted or thought this would happen to me and It tears me apart to even think about it but I need some advice..while living in NE in September I basically had a one night stand with a gentleman I'll call "Cowboy". Shortly before (around a week or two) that I came back home to SD for a visit and ended up hooking up with an ex who shall be named "trek-ey". So needless to say I came back to NE and x amount of time later I found out that I would be expecting a baby around June 9th! I was ecstatic but then quickly shot down with disappointment when I came upon this dilema. When I told cowboy he said that was impossible because he had just had a vasectomy(?) Like a month or two prior to our meeting..so then I told trek-ey and he was happy..shocked but happy. So anyway all of these questions came about and long story short he and I both have doubts about the paternity..he says that no matter what he will be there for us and it takes more than DNA to be a father. On one hand I couldn't have asked for anything better than that response but the whole thing is honestly stressing me out..and rightfully so. I don't know if I should believe cowboy b/c that kind of procedure is not 100% effective (I wouldn't think) and he also stated that he did a test and he's shooting blanks...and now trek-ey says he'll be there but he won't sign the certificate until he knows for sure..I'm kind of with him on that buuut I also feel that if he doesn't want to sign it then I need to move on..am I making a big deal? Who should I believe is the father?? Ugh I hate myself for putting myself in this position..any advice would be helpful and appreciated. Thank you..
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by on May. 28, 2012 at 11:49 PM
Replies (41-50):
Sassy762
by Emerald Member on May. 29, 2012 at 3:01 AM

DNA test

needadvice1983
by Bronze Member on May. 29, 2012 at 11:41 AM
I'm going to assume you aren't actually due JUNE 9th. Because that would be impossible. Lol but like other people said, only sure way is a DNA test.
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alwayskk
by on May. 29, 2012 at 11:43 AM

You should not 'believe' that anyone is the father until the baby is born and you have gotten a DNA test.

zeesmuse
by Bronze Member on May. 29, 2012 at 11:46 AM

DNA test. Start with Trek-ey. If it comes up no, go after Cowboy.


NExt time, make sure the guy is wearing a condom.

DallasCowboys81
by Platinum Member on May. 29, 2012 at 11:50 AM

That happened to me also. As soon as DS was born I knew excatly who he belonged to besides me he looked just like him fire engine red mullet and all. Good luck if you feel you need a DNA I'd have it done for peace of mind. That is great about your BF tho willing to be for you even tho he knows it's a possibility

Amiehart62
by Silver Member on May. 29, 2012 at 11:53 AM
Since guy number two is so willing have him do the test ad if he isn't the father process of elimination says the cowboy is....not being snarky but that is assuming these are the only two possibilities. GL
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Young_Mommy89
by Ruby Member on May. 29, 2012 at 12:05 PM
Unless you get the dna test...you will never rest
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caiterlin
by on May. 29, 2012 at 12:34 PM
I guess I don't know if my state requires him to sign..I just kind of assumed that you had to..I will be looking into it I guess lol thanks!


Quoting OVZ:

What do you mean he won't sign a certificate? When I had my child I was the only one to sign it. Oh yeah... and the nurse of cause. My husband did not have to sign anything. I could write anybody to be the father of my child because the signature of the father was not required. If it is so important for you to know who the actual father of the child, do the DNA test.


On a separate note... I have a friend who had two children with her boyfriend. She did not write him to be the father and actually according to the certificate nobody is the father of her children. The reason she said she has done it is she did not want him to claim any rights to the children and she did not want to have her children to live half time here and half time there in case she and her boyfriend go separate ways. I know it's lame. If he really wants to he can do a paternity test. LOL.


 


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caiterlin
by on May. 29, 2012 at 12:39 PM
When I had the first ultrasound via hoo-ha probe, the Dr told me that was the estimated due date. However, due to complications, my ob is inducing on the 5th for a June 6th delivery..


Quoting needadvice1983:

I'm going to assume you aren't actually due JUNE 9th. Because that would be impossible. Lol but like other people said, only sure way is a DNA test.

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lil_mama06
by Brian's Lil Vixen on May. 29, 2012 at 12:41 PM
1 mom liked this

HUGS and my neice is in the same situation. She has a AWESOME little guy..Her current bf is on the birth certificate but when my neice's dad was in jail so was her ex. He saw the pic of little guy and said he was gonna get a paternity test done cause that's HIS kid...He hasn't had anything to do with my neice since before she found out she was pregnant. I honestly wouldn't worry about it. There are worse things..And if the baby ends up being cowboys sounds like you and your baby will be better off without him....HUGS...

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