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DD's Dance Instructor Actually Said This..

Posted by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 10:38 AM
  • 35 Replies

My almost 4 yr old DD is in a ballet class every Saturday morning for about an hour. We signed her up because it was one of the few activities that are available for her age group in our area. She seems pretty neutral about it so we probably won't do it again next year. Anyway, her instructor was talking to the class and parents about their upcoming recital next weekend. She was explaining how they have to be ready WHEN they get there, etc., etc. Then she actually said, to the girls, "It will hurt when Mommy does your hair, but it always hurts to be pretty."

...

Just about every jaw in the room dropped. I really could not believe she said that to a room of 3&4 year old girls.


Edit: Ok, so I do appreciate the instructor telling them that the bun might hurt because then it won't seem like it's MY fault that it hurts. I also know that brushing and putting up hair can hurt and if she wants to do the recital she needs her hair up. I also tell her all of the time that if she's going to cry about me washing her long hair, we need to cut it short so it's easier. I'm just really shocked that she said "it ALWAYS hurts to be pretty." That just seems to be a bad idea. Maybe I'm way off and I'm being a quixotic idiot, but aren't we supposed to teach our girls that they're beautiful no matter what they look like? Am I really that far off? I really didn't want to get into the "planting the insecurity seed" argument because I've seen that cause some major trouble on here, but is it really ok for girls to grow up thinking that they have to put themselves through pain to be considered pretty? I feel pretty and I felt no pain today. What does that mean? 


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by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 10:38 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Kris_PBG
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 10:39 AM
1 mom liked this
Wow!!!! Not OK...
toopicky429
by Platinum Member on Jun. 9, 2012 at 10:41 AM
8 moms liked this
As a fellow dance mom, I can second that it will probably hurt when you do their hair. She was just being honest.
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jadedcynic
by Bronze Member on Jun. 9, 2012 at 10:41 AM
1 mom liked this

People are shocked when they watch Dance Moms at the things Abby Lee says to the students, but to be honest that kind of behavior is so common in the dance world.

eesmommy
by Gold Member on Jun. 9, 2012 at 10:43 AM
1 mom liked this
So true:) just the facts lol and toes and heels hurt when you dance, and muscles are sore for a day or two.... want to dance? Prepare for pain, thats life, it weeds out the weaklings lol the ones that cant take the pain back out, the ones that can handle it continue.


Quoting toopicky429:

As a fellow dance mom, I can second that it will probably hurt when you do their hair. She was just being honest.

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mkh615
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 10:43 AM
2 moms liked this

I danced for 13 years and no one ever said anything like that to my class. But fine, it'll hurt when we do their hair but it's not alright to tell them that it has to hurt to be pretty.

Quoting toopicky429:

As a fellow dance mom, I can second that it will probably hurt when you do their hair. She was just being honest.


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KelliansMom
by Gold Member on Jun. 9, 2012 at 10:43 AM
1 mom liked this

I remember putitng my hair up in a bund for ballet ...if it was tender headed yea it would hurt a bit but I had a russian ballet teacher so we took things serausly ...when i tought a 3/4 year old group we just did quick and easy buns nothing crazy bc I didnt want them to get turned off from dancing bc something made them uncomfertable

KitschyGirl
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 10:44 AM
4 moms liked this
One of the many things wrong with the attitude towards and about women in this country.
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addiecakesmommy
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 10:44 AM
Eh, I tell my DD beauty is pain and she is 5. My mom told me the same thing. It never emotionally damaged me.
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BeAmour
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 10:45 AM


Quoting toopicky429:

As a fellow dance mom, I can second that it will probably hurt when you do their hair. She was just being honest.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
emeraldangel20
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 10:46 AM
1 mom liked this

it wouldn't hurt to be pretty if people would just rely on their natural beauty

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