So my husband is deployed right now, and while he's gone my 4 year old daughter and I are visiting family in North Carolina. Both of our families live here, so we get to see everybody. Although I had planned on staying until about the end of July, I'm very seriously considering cutting my trip a month short.
Since my husband's in the military we live on the opposite side of the country from our family, and I'm a SAHM so I'm used to my daughter being pretty much a mommy's girl. Since we've come down here though I can't help but feel like my mom is stealing her away from me. Whenever my mom's at home, my daughter is her shadow. If we're watching TV, my daughter sits on her lap and she has NEVER sat on my lap to watch a movie, even before coming down here. She constantly wants to go do everything with her, only wants to help grandma, only wants to hold grandma's hand, acts like she doesn't want to have anything to do with me. It's not quite as bad when we're at my MIL's house, even though she loves being around her other grandma she still wants to have something to do with me when we're over there. What made it really bad tonight is that my daughter told me, without any prodding or asking, just straight out of the blue, "I like grandma better than you" as we were all sitting on the couch. Talk about breaking my heart!
I had felt like maybe I was just being overly sensitive since my mom and I have never had the best relationship anyway, we seem to work better long distance and it's difficult for me when I spend so much time around her. I also thought that maybe since we don't see family very often I'm just not used to what it's like for my daughter to be around grandparents. I know a good portion of it has to do with the fact that my mom and dad spoil the ever-lovin out of her (dad with sweets and toys, mom with pretty much everything else), while I still expect her to act like the big girl that she is at home (picking up after herself, buckling her seatbelt on her own, being semi-independent as far as these types of things go). I don't know if this is all that it is though, if I'm just being overly sensitive and my issues with my mom are just making me feel like things are worse than they really are, I guess I just don't really know what it's like when you have grandparents so nearby, and I'm feeling really hurt after hearing my daughter say that earlier.
I guess what I'm looking for here is to just vent and maybe get some input from other people whose kids have regular contact with their grandparents. Is this what it's like for you? Do you think she's just really enjoying being spoiled and she knows that I'm the one who's going to be strict and grandma's the push over and that's what making it like this?
Ok, so I know this was from forever ago, but I just wanted to update on it. I want to thank everyone for replying to the initial post, it helped me to feel a lot better that it wasn't just me, and sometimes I just need someone to just let me know I'm being overly sensitive. I think that I had just been having a really bad day when I posted this, and my daughter saying that she liked my mom better than me was the icing on the cake lol. We did stay for the entire time that we had planned, and by the end I think she was actually getting a little tired of all the other family, and the favoritism started wore off.
Quoting cherib82:
My parents live 5 minutes away and my kids act like it's the end of the world when they leave to go home.
I love seeing my kids with their grandparents. And don't feel bad- who doesn't prefer their grandparents? No rules, no limits, unlimited junk food...a child's dream!
I know a good portion of it has to do with the fact that my mom and dad spoil the ever-lovin out of her (dad with sweets and toys, mom with pretty much everything else), while I still expect her to act like the big girl that she is at home (picking up after herself, buckling her seatbelt on her own, being semi-independent as far as these types of things go).
You hit the nail on the head. Bullseye on the target. Why else would a 4yr old say that? Because grandma and grandpa are spoiling her, it's normal.
My kids couldn't WAIT to be with my mother. And my mother literally used to push me out of the way to get to "my grandbabies". They're teenagers now, and they STILL like their grandparents better than us..it's normal. Don't feel bad. You're not doing anything wrong.
We live 30 minutes from grandparents. We go visit about 1 time a month. I do not exist when we are at their house. AND personally i do not havea problem with it. I am glad my kids have that relationship with their grandparents. I also know that I have them the majority of the time.
My 3rd child used to tell me when he was younger that he loved daddy but not mommy. Now he like to cuddle with me. I did not take it personal.
Quoting RGladson:
This. My kids see my mom once a week, and my daughter acts just the same.
Quoting cherib82:
My parents live 5 minutes away and my kids act like it's the end of the world when they leave to go home.
Am I wrong for not giving a F**** that hes dying?
Common causes of arguments in your household
- jacc2007
on Jun. 10, 2012 at 9:16 PM