I love my husband with all of my heart and would do anything for him...and now I know that I have. For the last year, he has been cheating on me and I just recently found out. I was so devastated by the news when he told me that I tried to commit suicide twice, was keep in observation at the pysch ward for a week and was finally sent home three days ago. While I was in the hospital, his mistress watched my kids. MY FUCKING KIDS IN MY FUCKING HOME!! He said he needed someone and couldn't find anyone else who would not tell the world of what was happening.
Back Story to this is that he lately have been telling me about how he wanted to do more with me but due to the kids and being alone in the state we're in, we haven't been on a one-on-one date in 9 years. Communication between us is pratically nonexistent. He comes home from work, and either plays on his phone or goes to sleep with an occasional arguement between us because I'm a stay at home mom and would like to see him more often. The excuses would always be that the kids are in the way or he has to work very long hours. Now, when it comes to his work and a truck driver, he gets to go out of town to either Dallas, Houston, Corpus Christie, pratically all over Texas and comes home one to three days later only to get ready to do it again. And this is where she comes in. All the trips that he went on, she was with him. EVERY SINGLE TRIP! Even the trips that he went on and was back home the same day, she was there. I felt that he might have been cheating so I dropped recording devices all over and caught him talking to her, having sex in my car. And when I confronted him on it, he would tell me some story and leave it like that.
All the while he's been working he's been telling me that he can't take anyone with him, I can't see him or talk to him and that he wished I could come but he would lose his job, but at the same time would tell me that he wished I knew someone who would watch the kids so I could go. I always got those conflicting words from him. I didn't know whether he was trying to tell me something or whatvever. A week ago, I told my husband that I loved the dynamic of the relationship of the TLC show, Sister Wives because they always had someone around to talk to and to be with. So after a long, 5-6 hour discussion, he admitted to me that he has been seeing someone for the last year and that if I wanted that, she would be willing to do so. At first, I thought he was joking. But when I realized he was telling the truth, I went numb and went along with what he wanted. He called her in front of me and went to go pick her up.
Even though he told her not to, she told me about everything she could remember about what they did together, the trips, shopping sprees, everything he did for her that he never did for me. After hearing all of that, I tried to kill myself by slashing my wrist. It wasn't too deep and I've never seen so many cops in my home at the same time. I asked him so many times what's wrong with me, what'sso bad that you would cheat. The first time he told me that he finds me boring because I'm interested in things like fine art and politics and that, with his brother telling me this as well, if I kept myself up, he might not have done it. That I nagged him too much and that he likes to have sex all the time and I'm always busy with the kids. For the last year, he told me that he said that in anger because I caught him and he desn't feel that way about me, but after all this, I think it's true.Now after my hospital stay, she then tried to commit suicide and was admitted to the hospital as well. And while he's there taking care of her, I'm at home, dealing with the fact that my husband is in the hosptial with his girlfriend and I couldn't take it anymore, so I started popping pills and downing an entire bottle of vodka. That's when I stayed a week in the hospital. Now we all live in the same house, sleeping in the same bed and I don't know what to do. I actually feel numb. I have wanted to cry for the last week and haven't been able to, which is hard to believe becasue I'm a big time crier. He told me that she can't go home because her family is abusive to her and he doesn't want anything bad to happen to her. I have no emotional response to it all except that I don't care. She's walking around my home, playing with my kids, and chatting up my husband, making me loo like I'm the outsider. I love him so damn much and the only thing I feel is that I'm incredibly stupid for dealing with this. He's living out his fanasty while I lay there in complete shock.I just found out they have a Facebook page together. This is when he all ready has another account where he claims that he's a happy family man, there are no pictures of me on it at all. But that would conflict with the fact their page states they're married. I'm the only one legally married to him. I don't use Facebook so I don't know how long its been up. Everyone could see it including our family members. We live in a small town so I'm walking around, looking stupid because the whole world knew about it before I did.
Sorry it's so long, just had to get it off my chest. What should I do?