Young Mothers.

[aRealteenMother]

I'm new-ish to CafeMom, but I wanted to start a thread for young mothers, like teens and those in their twenties. I know most of us, especially teen mothers, get a bad rep simply for our age. But I don't think its fair to say that being young means you're a bad mom. I'd like to open up this thread to other young moms who know they're good moms and want to talk about being a mom without being judged. Feel free to share your story.

I got pregnant when I was sixteen after I'd been with my now husband for almost two years. He was nineteen. I was told by pretty much all of my family to give the baby up for adoption, but we decided to keep it. In the town we live in, jobs are scarce so we had to stay with my mom until we got on our feet, but now we have our own place and have had it for some time. Yes, we are on foodstamps and my daughter is on Medicaid, but that's only temporary assistance until my husband get a better job. We don't plan to live off it forever, but right now, we honestly need it and I'm not ashamed of that.

I know I cant stop people from posting judgy things but I do ask that you keep hurtful comments to yourself. You're an adult and so you should act like it. Posting mean comments on a thread that's supposed to be supportive only has a negative effect, unless you just like being mean. So, please leave this thread if you dont have anything supportive to say.

[Robin_TripleA]

I was 17 when I had my first. I had twins at 20. I think I am doing okay! I am married and my hubby has a great job. Eh, there are ten and young moms that gibe us a bad name, but its not too late to change that image. Btw I am 22 now.

[doodlebut]

I had my first 11 days after I turned 18, im still with the dad and have been married almost 15 years. I run a support group at my house for teen moms.

[aRealteenMother]

That is so awesome!

[Fields456]

Their is a group for 20 something moms and maybe teens moms not sure joined cm when I was 25 I was a young mom had my dd at 19(3 weeks before my 20th birthday ). Ppl will never stop judging you just have to move past it

[DaphneSmith]

I got married the month after I turned 19. I found it I was pregnant two months later, so I had ds a month before I turned 20. I do sometimes feel like people look down on me when they find out how old my kids are, especially ds but I have utterly enjoyed having my kids young. I had dd when I was 23. I am 29 (yikes 30 in a few short days!) now. My dh and I have been through many trials and tribulations in the past 11 yrs and I am sure there will be more to come. I say just follow your heart, make sure the person you are with has the same values and fight for what you want. We overcame dh affairs, being broke, Katrina, etc... Dh now has a great job he loves and we have finally been able to go on cruises, disney, chicago, etc... Don't give up ever, even when it is easier because your better days will come.

[1likeme]

The people who judge you before getting to know you aren't worth your time.

[SIN3AD]

Quoting staffordmommy:

I got pregnant at 19 I'm 22 now and have 2 sweet babies plus a 5 yr old SD full time. I know its not easy but u make it work. Age doesn't define good/bad mothers, morality does

Love the comment about 'Age not defining good/bad mothers, morality does' I have morals that i stand by everyday of my life and have rared my daughter to do the same, she is so kind and considerate of other people and nevery gives me much grief, when i say 'much' it would be a small amount because shes always happy with what shes got, she makes it so easy to be a mom and she wouldnt be the person she is today if i didnt teach her manners and morals to live by, and I was also a teen mom and it never made me want to hide the fact that i had a baby, i was a proud mom because i wanted my baby and love my baby and was well capable of taking care of her at the age of 16, my now 7 soon to be 8 year old who is growin up way to fast is the light in my life, take her away and id be forever in darkness.

[.Laura10.]

I lost my virginity to Christian on my 16th birthday. We used a condom, but it broke. When we told our parents, his wanted me to abort or give her up. Mine wanted us to keep her and stay together (and get married). We went with my parents' option. Towards the end of my pregnancy, he became apprehensive about the whole thing and even suggested adoption.

When our daughter was born, within months he said he couldn't handle it. I decided I needed to leave and make a life for my daughter and I. I drove several hours north and started our life there. I soon was able to find a job and the lady who helped me get the job took my daughter and I in (it's just what she does).

A couple of weeks before my 20th birthday, I got pregnant again; this time with twins. The boys' father (John) and I had been dating for 2 years. We got married on Christmas Day, 2010. Our boys were born in May of 2011. In July, John was killed by a drunk driver.

In Novemeber, Christian and I picked things up again. We're now living in RI (moved here last year from FL; he moved up to be supportive and to help out) and are engaged. We're expecting another girl in Dec.

(I deleted my old SN after John was killed. It was 10-26-06Laura.)

[.stella.]

I'm 22 and have a 6, 4 and 2 yr old