need advice from moms with more than one child

[happymommy1105]

My son was born on Nov 24, 2005. He has been an only child, an only grandchild, etc his whole life.

I am 20 weeks pregnant with his little brother, due Nov 16.

He is already upset that the new baby is stealing his birthday, which I have explained.....a million times that's not the case......but a six year.old mind is just that. He doesn't get it. It doesn't help that his whole.life he has been allowed to celebrate his birthday for pretty much the whole month of Nov. He usually has a birthday party for friends on the first weekend in Nov. Cupcakes at school right before thanksgiving break. A cake on thanksgiving, and a cake on his real birthday. Plus my parents usually take him to at least one play during the month as his birthday present. So I can see his reasoning.

In addition to that, I have been extremely sick. I have been in and out of the hospital from throwing up so much. Plus I threw my back out and now I am not allowed to drive. On top of my physical problems, they have found problems with the new babys heart and kidneys so we are going to extra doctors appt to figure out what needs to be done on that front.

And if that wasn't enough, we had to move at the end of may because my old apt was trying to raise my rent by $200 a month and I couldn't afford it. So we are also living in a new place.

And the icing on the cake, bf and I have been struggling financially because of my health problems, I have been unable to work. So we lost over half our income.

His summer has honestly, sucked. Every other year, I have saved all year, taken the summer off and traveled with him. This year that couldn't happen. My savings got eaten up paying for medicine and rent while I haven't been working.

Now I can't take him around town to do stuff cause I can't drive.

He has gotten an attitude. He screams at me his life was better before the baby. That he doesn't want a brother. That he wants things the way they were before. I have no.words for.him.

But I can't handle the attitude. I need help. What do I tell him? I keep.promising him things will get better.

In July, we are going to legoland. He is going camping and to the lake house with my brother and he is going to dc for a few days to.visit my aunt.

In august school starts again, so for the first few days, he is going to.go.with friends to the zoo and aquarium. Plus I have a friend that is going to take him the galtinburg for a few days.

I feel very blessed to have everybody helping me. But he keeps screaming at me that those are things he and I do. Which they are. I think he is missing his mommy as much as everything else.

I don't know what to do. Help me!!

[TaralynnStewart]

No advice but here's a bump

My DDs were 7yrs apart and she was ecstatic to finally have a sibling and had no Adjustment issues

[Luv.My.Kidz]

My boys are born 5 yrs and 3 days apart. I have no suggestions other than it's your and your families fault for spoiling him to the point to where he expects things.

I never allowed my kids to expect things. I won't allow it.

[Tabitha109]

Have you tried punishing him? He's still got plenty going on for him. There's no need for him to be screaming at you.

[Arwyn724]

As the pp stated, my girls are 8 years apart, and the oldest couldn't wait for the baby to come.  They are best friends, now at 25 & 16.  They got along well their whole childhood, partly because they didn't compete together in anything.  They were never in the same school at the same time, totally different range of friends.  Give him time, it can all work out in time.

[happymommy1105]

Yes. I have sent him to his room every time he screams at me. I have cancelled plans if he acts up.

I am at a total loss. He has never screamed at me like this before.

Of course, we usually have an extremely active life. So all this time at home is a change.

Quoting Tabitha109:

Have you tried punishing him? He's still got plenty going on for him. There's no need for him to be screaming at you.

[fallenangel_353]

My first was born in 05 as well. My dd was born in 08. How I got ds excited was letting him do big boy stuff and helped a lot. He thought of her as HIS sissy.. although later I did have to explain to him that she was mine and not actually his.. that's a whole other story LOL.

[Arwyn724]

And after the baby comes, keep some special "big boy" thing for him to do alone with you.  Emphasize that it is for him only, something 'babies' can't do.

[jessi2girls]

just keep giving him attention, he'll get over it soon enough...

and don't feel bad about the birthdays.. my daughter was doomed the day she was born to share a birthday with her cousin.. who was born an hour and a half before her across the hall in the same hospital. lol.. then her sister was born 2 weeks shy of 3 years exactly.. so she'll always have to share her birthday in a way...

as well as christmas with her bday.. because they are all december babies.

[doodlebut]

My first 2 are only 18 months apart, then there was a 5 year gap,2nd 2 are 14 months apart. The older 2 were so happy when I was pregnant with the last 2. I think maybe your son is just really spoiled. I've seen kids get a little upset once the baby is here , but what he's doing sounds extreme. I really don't have advice for you, but good luck.

[nysa76]

My 2 oldest were the hardest.  My oldest DS was almost 3 when my 2nd DS was born.  He hated him.  Didn't understand why the baby wouldn't go away.  Thought the baby stole his mommy.  I spent a lot of extra time with him but that bitterness lasted quite a while anyways.  Good luck momma!  They get along fine now (at 17 and 14) so eventually my oldest outgrew it.