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20 year old guy wants relationship with 15 year old girl....YIKES!

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DD's friend will be turning 20 years old in August. He is from a divorced family, does not get along with either parent but lives locally with dad; mom lives across the country and he does not talk or see her.  He considers me to be a substitute mom and is very open with me, telling me things he will not tell his parents or other adults.  I listen and advise when I feel appropriate and for the most part he will usually listen to my guidance but I am hitting a wall with this one and I need to ask how you would handle this situation as it is making me nuts that I cannot get through to him.

Last November, he met a now 15 year old girl through mutual friends. From November until May, he did not see or talk with her.  In May, they started chatting daily via Facebook but have not seen each other in person since November.  Fast forward to today and he says he "really, really loves her," she is his "other half,"  "she may very well be the love of his life," he wants to give his virginity to her, he sees himself "marrying her forever," blah blah blah

It is bad enough that there is an almost 5 year difference between them.  I have already told him how dangerous that is to his future as he will be considered a "child predator" but he assures me he knows better than to try to have sex with her.  In addition to how unwise it is to  try to be with this girl because of her age, get this:

1) She has a boyfriend already but soon to be 20 year old says he is willing to "wait for her however long it takes."

2) Girl has had sex with  guys already but has told soon to be 20 year old that she feels very guilty about it, but that alot of times guys "force themselves on her" and so she lets them use her body because "she wants to make them happy."  I told soon to be 20 year old that girl needs to own up to what she has done and take some responsibility for letting the guys use her body cuz it takes two to tango. He defends her by saying it was not her fault and that the guys used mental/emotional "force" over her. *insert eye roll*

3) Girl is a "cutter" and seems to have many emotional issues regarding self-esteem.

Ok, here is my situation:  I just see this as a bad situation that could get worse and nothing I say will stop him from pursuing her. So,  would you do anything? How would you get through to him? or How do you just standby and watch him hang himself?


by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 5:29 PM
Replies (21-21):
sweet.lil.mama
by on Jun. 30, 2012 at 12:38 PM
I know, I wish we would a met when i was 16/17. It would of saved him from so much BS with his ex, my stepdads family and my dh exs family are somewhat connected. My cousins wife had a baby with my dh's ex brother...lol I feel like we should of met earlier...oh well

Quoting epykpysmom:


Quoting sweet.lil.mama:

My dh is 5.5 yrs older than me but we met when I was 19 and he was 24

I think there is a big difference between your situation where you were 19 and your DH was 24 than the situation that I am describing where girl is 15 and guy 20.

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