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My friend wants advice! Hubby slept with a minor!! Edit with more info

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My bff found out last weekend that her husband slept with a 13 year old when he was 29. This was 6 years ago before they got married. The girl is now their next door neighbor. The girl is the one who told my bff. Obviously my bff is incredibly hurt and she is questioning what kind of man her husband is. She's asking me what to do but I have no idea.

*Girl supposedly had been sleeping around at the time. I told bff no excuse, he knew better.
*They have been married 3 1/2 years but have been on-again-off-again for 12 years and have 2 dds together.

**He did admit to it. Feels terrible blah blah blah. He's scared she's gonna leave but she's the only one working and his only income.
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by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 11:12 AM
Replies (31-40):
LntLckrsCmQut
by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 11:34 AM

The op has already said that he admitted to it.

Quoting Mrs.Winchester:

No we don't,  but I am hard pressed to jump on the molestation wagon when we don't know more to the story.  We don't know if she lied about her age,  or if she came on to him (which still doesn't make it okay but I do think it would be a worse situation if he took advantage of her).  For all we know,  this girl lied about the whole thing to start drama in this woman's marriage.  I would be pretty skeptical if some neighbor said she slept with my husband when she was 13.  I would be like, "Police report or it didn't happen".  LOL   I would love to hear what the husband has to say.

Quoting ff-princess:

and you think a 13 year old is capable of consenting?  how young do you think is reasonable to consent?  8?  5?

Quoting Mrs.Winchester:

That's your opinion.  I don't view consentual sex as molestation. 

Quoting Lizardannie1966:

The past is the past?

The man molested a little girl and regardless if she was promiscuous and sleeping around to begin with.

However, I agree that perhaps this young lady is attempting to start trouble. OP, has the BFF's husband admitted to what he's been accused of?

Quoting Mrs.Winchester:

I don't know what I would do in that situation.  The past is the past.  Also,  can we trust this girls word or is she just trying to start drama?






mommytoeandb
by Gold Member on Jul. 2, 2012 at 11:34 AM
Yuck.
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BobbieB
by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 11:34 AM

 Has you friend talked to her hubby about this? Is she just taking the word of the girl next door? Is she sure this happened at all?

If this turns out to be true she's got some tough choices to make and they're all going to depend on the circumstances. I feel bad for her if this turns out to be true.

JackG
by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 11:35 AM
1 mom liked this
Why is everyone saying Molested if he slept with her its RAPE not molestation which is any unwanted physical contact Rape is penetration : slept with!
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Lizardannie1966
by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 11:35 AM

"Properly" beating himself up?

I have to wonder, too, if her parents know what happened back then?

Again, were this me, this man would be a world of legal trouble and *I* would not stick around.

Quoting Meesa:

Yes, he did admit to it....after bff asked him about it. He is "properly" beating himself up about it now that bff knows.

Quoting Lizardannie1966:

The past is the past?

The man molested a little girl and regardless if she was promiscuous and sleeping around to begin with.

However, I agree that perhaps this young lady is attempting to start trouble. OP, has the BFF's husband admitted to what he's been accused of?

Quoting Mrs.Winchester:

I don't know what I would do in that situation.  The past is the past.  Also,  can we trust this girls word or is she just trying to start drama?



Lizardannie1966
by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 11:37 AM

My understanding...and the OP can correct me if I am wrong...is that the young lady might have been willing to participate.

Quoting JackG:

Why is everyone saying Molested if he slept with her its RAPE not molestation which is any unwanted physical contact Rape is penetration : slept with!


Mrs.Winchester
by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 11:37 AM

Yikes.

I don't know what I would do.  Let me have my coffee and get back to ya'll.

Quoting LntLckrsCmQut:

The op has already said that he admitted to it.

Quoting Mrs.Winchester:

No we don't,  but I am hard pressed to jump on the molestation wagon when we don't know more to the story.  We don't know if she lied about her age,  or if she came on to him (which still doesn't make it okay but I do think it would be a worse situation if he took advantage of her).  For all we know,  this girl lied about the whole thing to start drama in this woman's marriage.  I would be pretty skeptical if some neighbor said she slept with my husband when she was 13.  I would be like, "Police report or it didn't happen".  LOL   I would love to hear what the husband has to say.

Quoting ff-princess:

and you think a 13 year old is capable of consenting?  how young do you think is reasonable to consent?  8?  5?

Quoting Mrs.Winchester:

That's your opinion.  I don't view consentual sex as molestation. 

Quoting Lizardannie1966:

The past is the past?

The man molested a little girl and regardless if she was promiscuous and sleeping around to begin with.

However, I agree that perhaps this young lady is attempting to start trouble. OP, has the BFF's husband admitted to what he's been accused of?

Quoting Mrs.Winchester:

I don't know what I would do in that situation.  The past is the past.  Also,  can we trust this girls word or is she just trying to start drama?







Sunshine257
by Bronze Member on Jul. 2, 2012 at 11:37 AM

I would confront him. I would want to hear it from him. Then I would leave that is unacceptable.

rgba
by Gold Member on Jul. 2, 2012 at 11:40 AM
2 moms liked this
A 29 year old and a 13 year old is not consensual.


Quoting Mrs.Winchester:

That's your opinion.  I don't view consentual sex as molestation. 

Quoting Lizardannie1966:

The past is the past?

The man molested a little girl and regardless if she was promiscuous and sleeping around to begin with.

However, I agree that perhaps this young lady is attempting to start trouble. OP, has the BFF's husband admitted to what he's been accused of?

Quoting Mrs.Winchester:

I don't know what I would do in that situation.  The past is the past.  Also,  can we trust this girls word or is she just trying to start drama?




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JackG
by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 11:42 AM
But its rape b/c a 13yr old, at least in my mind & state I live in is too young to Consent to sex or be a willing particepant.


Quoting Lizardannie1966:

My understanding...and the OP can correct me if I am wrong...is that the young lady might have been willing to participate.

Quoting JackG:

Why is everyone saying Molested if he slept with her its RAPE not molestation which is any unwanted physical contact Rape is penetration : slept with!



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