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You?... Selfish?...Uhh I Think So! >.

Posted by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 1:02 AM
  • 10 Replies

Ladies! pls help me! i have a selfish boyfriend who does not know how to put himself last when it comes to the needs of his daughter or my own. i will be the first to admit tht I have had moments of indulgment when it comes to buying an expensive item on a fast food menu, or spending too much money when shopping for clothes tht will grab ppls attention with a wow! or even buying tht certain perfume , lotion, or shampoo && conditioner. But when it comes to my daughter and what she needs i have to put my needs behind.  How can i get it through his head tht he is not the most important thing anymore in our life...? && he needs to be working so tht he can support our "family" without relying on his parents or my own. && now tht we are expecting our second child it is even more vital for him to save instead of spend. How do i address this topic && keep the conversation from escalating into an all out fight?

by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 1:02 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ciao_bella
by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 1:04 AM
Show him exactly this, write it in a letter?

Tell your parents & his not to give him any money or else the cycle will just continue.
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smASH-
by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 1:05 AM
1 mom liked this
&&
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prdmomnarmywife
by Gold Member on Jul. 3, 2012 at 1:06 AM
I have no clue so here's a bump . However do you work ? Or is it just him ? Do you think that may be bothering him ? He shouldn't blow it all on himself but he should be able to get something sometimes because he is working for it . Maybe set up an allowance for you both to spend in whatever out of what you have left over after bills
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SimplyMarcii
by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 2:07 AM

ive tried it all...writing letters;;talking face to face;;ranting && raving;;crying && begging...its like he thinks this is all a game;;as for his parents they encourage him ask for help when it comes to buying the important necessities for our daughter.

SimplyMarcii
by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 2:19 AM


Quoting prdmomnarmywife:

I have no clue so here's a bump . However do you work ? Or is it just him ? Do you think that may be bothering him ? He shouldn't blow it all on himself but he should be able to get something sometimes because he is working for it . Maybe set up an allowance for you both to spend in whatever out of what you have left over after bills


i cant work due to health issues concerning my pregnancy...so at the moment he works && i am trying to finish high school in a continuation school. && i guess i could see him working alone may be bothering him buhh we all have to make sacrifices right?, so let him spend a little on himself...should tht come after paying the bills? becuz it seems like he gets paid then he spends, then he pays the bills && then we are left with nothing && he refuses to talk money with me && keep me informed with the spending.

anotherhalf
by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 2:23 AM
1 mom liked this
If he is as young as you then he is just acting his age. His impulse control (his brain) isn't even fully developed yet. It would be nice if having kids automatically made one mature, but as you see, it doesn't always work that way.
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SimplyMarcii
by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 2:27 AM

^^ i guess it only happens to the luckyy ones then lol(:

Temecula_Mama
by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 2:35 AM
1 mom liked this
If you can't sit down and have a conversation about money, it's never going to work. Sorry. That's what most arguments are about. Stbdh and are doing Dave Ramsey. We know where are money goes. He has blow money for his monsters and games and I have mine for smoothies and peanut m and ms. But bills are paid and we aren't broke. We are completely honest and open about money.
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prdmomnarmywife
by Gold Member on Jul. 3, 2012 at 2:55 AM
Yes we all have to make sacrifices . And yes he shouldnt be spending until after bills and food/needs are taken care of . The thing that sucks is while he is being selfish there's nothing you can really do about it . It sounds like your both young which means, he just might not be ready to grow up . (no excuse , he needs too , he chose to have a child it's time to man up). If he refuses to help and keeps blowing it (since both of your parents are already helping financially . ) why not bring his parents into it and have them make him sit down and talk about it . if worse comes to worse maybe they can start holding his checks for him so it's not all being wasted ... Sorry it just seems to me like there's not much you can do to make him grow up and realize he has priorities now , seeing as you've already tried . .. Child support ???


Quoting SimplyMarcii:



Quoting prdmomnarmywife:

I have no clue so here's a bump . However do you work ? Or is it just him ? Do you think that may be bothering him ? He shouldn't blow it all on himself but he should be able to get something sometimes because he is working for it . Maybe set up an allowance for you both to spend in whatever out of what you have left over after bills


i cant work due to health issues concerning my pregnancy...so at the moment he works && i am trying to finish high school in a continuation school. && i guess i could see him working alone may be bothering him buhh we all have to make sacrifices right?, so let him spend a little on himself...should tht come after paying the bills? becuz it seems like he gets paid then he spends, then he pays the bills && then we are left with nothing && he refuses to talk money with me && keep me informed with the spending.


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prdmomnarmywife
by Gold Member on Jul. 3, 2012 at 2:59 AM
1 mom liked this
Well , give him 2 options then , grow up and make things work or child support .


Quoting SimplyMarcii:

ive tried it all...writing letters;;talking face to face;;ranting && raving;;crying && begging...its like he thinks this is all a game;;as for his parents they encourage him ask for help when it comes to buying the important necessities for our daughter.


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