1. You can want in one hand and shit in the other, see which one gets full fastest!
2. God tells us to make a joyful noise unto him, that doesn't necessarily mean it has to sound good.
3. Dryer sheets ward off mosquitos!
4. When someone is being a cry baby, lifting your shirt up and offering them some titty is an appropriate response.
5. God gave you dominion over creatures. (she seriously tells every bug that comes near her that god gives her dominion over them and to get out)
She might be crazy as a loon, but I love that old woman! What did your grandma teach you!