divorce ..dating. and children ...

[a06z08mama]

I was wondering what other peoples experiences have been with dating after a divorce and having children. I got out of a bad marriage. Now dating this amazing guy. He is older than me but I don't see the age difference. We have made the choihce not have my children around him until recently. And that was his decision. So I was wondering about how I should go about having my kids around the bf? Public hang outs or home cook outs? I just want them to know that they will still have mommy time too. Ugh! Where's the manual for this stuff!! :)

[RoseWall]

I am a believer in waiting until the relationship has become marriage type of serious. Have things taken a big turn? I have not read any replies.

[christina0607]

Same here. I remember when I was 18, I had a good friend who was going to meet the woman her dad was marrying. At the time, I thought..how weird. Now I really admire her parents for never bringing home a boy or girlfriend.

Quoting RoseWall:

I am a believer in waiting until the relationship has become marriage type of serious. Have things taken a big turn? I have not read any replies.

[a06z08mama]

We both really don't want to marriage again. He is divorced also. So knows where I am coming from for a lot of things. I think its a big step for him to want to be around the kids. My ex is already on his second gf and we have been split since Feb. And always has the kids with him and his gf. So I have been keeping my bf out of the picture. Til this last week.

[LancesMom]

How serious are you ? It may be nice to have a cook out and invite him over, before you go out together as a family. Good luck!

[1likeme]

I in a way feel conflicted about this issue because if my children absolutely hated my boyfriend I would stop dating him. I would also stop seeing a person who was rude or in any way innapropriate with my kids. Waiting is a good idea but it's also a good idea to know that you may have to drop him like a hot potato. I am in no way a fan of marching a string of flings through my children's lives but I also don't want to wait until I'm almost married to end a relationship.

[jadsmummy]

So six months. honest advice take time for you to heal and grow independently before you get serious with another man and introduce a new man into your children's lives.

Quoting a06z08mama:

We both really don't want to marriage again. He is divorced also. So knows where I am coming from for a lot of things. I think its a big step for him to want to be around the kids. My ex is already on his second gf and we have been split since Feb. And always has the kids with him and his gf. So I have been keeping my bf out of the picture. Til this last week.

[Sparkyfire]

I had been seperated a year or so when I met df. We hit it off instantly and had met in a game we both love. My ex husband had moved on 2 years before the seperation (shortly after we married actually) and had been cheating on me the whole time. So I decided for ds and myself to move on. I tried to make it work for my son but it didn't so we moved on and sept of last year (my 22nd bday) df gave me a trip to stay with him for 2 weeks to see if we got along as well rl as we did in game. We did so end of October ds and I moved 12 hours to start over an be happy.

The way I see it is every woman is different, some need years, some months, some are ready to move on as soon as they escape the ex. Mine was abusive, cheated and even gave me a Sti before I finally said fuck it and moved on.

Eta: df and I are in no rush to marry even though we are expecting. So dont feel just because you moved on you should marry the man as fast as posible

[Paperfishies]

I agree. I would wait a minimum of 6-9 months of dating...and then I would introduce the kids to him on neutral ground, like at a restaurant for dinner.

Quoting RoseWall:

I am a believer in waiting until the relationship has become marriage type of serious. Have things taken a big turn? I have not read any replies.

[malissaL]

If you are not comfortable or confident about it, now is not the time.

[a06z08mama]

I am comfortable with the idea. My kids have been around him for a few minutes.
And it was nice getting a glimpse. My bf knows I am not going to be parading guys thru my kids lives. So for him to be the one to bring it up about me and the kids coming over. Kinda put me on cloud 9.
He is great with kids. An amazing dad to his own. I am ready to have both parts of my life together.