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MIL has stayed w us for 7 weeks - time to go home

Posted by on Jul. 15, 2012 at 11:06 PM
  • 53 Replies
I have no one that had been through this so looking for someone who has been in my place.

MIL broke her ankle in 3 places and was placed in the hosp for a week where they put a metal faxiator (sp?) on her leg. She's 65 and lives alone, Dr's are cautious because she's diabetic but not to bad - borderline.

From the hospital she was placed in a active living short term care center do she could be looked after and receive physical therapy. After 5 weeks insurance stopped paying and told her to go live with us. She was not allowed to go hack to her home at tge time because she has a sicken living room and bedroom. We have a 2 story house, so she's in the bedroom downstairs. We work and are gone 8-11 hours a day, they did not care. We had to get a fridge and microwave as well as many other things; kitchen is upstairs.

She finally had the fixtature off abd a regular cast placed on. We have had to push and prob her to move around do she heals as she was told to.

Cast is finally off and a boot is placed on. She has been told to walk around. We are trying to find ways for her to move around. Basically the dr said as she is comfortable she can go back home and drive w the brace on - bit the boot (brace is under the boot).

MIL's house is messy DH said he is going over to clean it- no comment. When we bring up anything about going home she avoids the topic.

This is not permanent, this is temp and once DH cleans and does a few safety things she is more than ready to go home. How do we do this when she is not wanting to even talk about it. If she does not want to live at her home we need to know, we need to place her house for sale and she needs to move into an active living place. We feel we can not fully live our lives while tending to her every need. Also during all this time I m/c we want to try for baby 2 and doing IVF is stressful enough I need time for me. Everything is all about her and no one else.

I am just lost.
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by on Jul. 15, 2012 at 11:06 PM
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Replies (1-10):
embersparkle
by on Jul. 15, 2012 at 11:48 PM

 I feel for you...sounds like a rough situation.

EAzizM
by on Jul. 15, 2012 at 11:54 PM
I'd love for my MIL to come live with us. None of the elders will be placed in "active living places". She took care of dh his whole life, I would be happy to return the favor. The same goes for my parents.
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Texascandee
by Bronze Member on Jul. 15, 2012 at 11:55 PM

That sounds rough.  When your DH is done doing what he's going to do, sit down and talk to her and tell her it's either time for her to return home or think about an assisted living center.......wishing you good luck

BraydensMama163
by on Jul. 15, 2012 at 11:59 PM
My mil isn't welcomed in my house so I don't really know what to tell ya.

But good luck and sorry for your loss.
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leamomof3
by on Jul. 15, 2012 at 11:59 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree with this... I get that it's stressful but she's family. You need to sit her down & talk to her Communication is very important.


Quoting EAzizM:

I'd love for my MIL to come live with us. None of the elders will be placed in "active living places". She took care of dh his whole life, I would be happy to return the favor. The same goes for my parents.

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melodynewsome
by Member on Jul. 16, 2012 at 12:07 AM
She keeps changing the subject. I think she is loving being waited on hand and foot and not having to do anything.

We plan to try this week to talk and not allow her to change the subject.


Quoting leamomof3:

I agree with this... I get that it's stressful but she's family. You need to sit her down & talk to her Communication is very important.




Quoting EAzizM:

I'd love for my MIL to come live with us. None of the elders will be placed in "active living places". She took care of dh his whole life, I would be happy to return the favor. The same goes for my parents.


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melodynewsome
by Member on Jul. 16, 2012 at 12:09 AM
She should not be needing a active living place she is more than capable of going to her own home. I feel like she is loving every thing being all done and about her. I need to heal too and now she is capable of doing things but does not want to.


Quoting EAzizM:

I'd love for my MIL to come live with us. None of the elders will be placed in "active living places". She took care of dh his whole life, I would be happy to return the favor. The same goes for my parents.

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shellyote
by on Jul. 16, 2012 at 12:10 AM
My family lived with my grandparents for a few years and it sucked for my parents, and I witnessed the effects. I am watching how badly my mil is treating her mother and will not forget that in the future. That being said, when older people fall and get injured they are really afraid of falling again. Are her floors slippery? Is there anything you can do to make her feel more stable? What about those emergency call necklaces? Or active living might be the place for her.
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sherry132
by Sherry on Jul. 16, 2012 at 12:10 AM

Sorry hon, I live with my parents so they don't have to go to a nursing home or assisted living. I flat out refuse. My grandparents went into assisted living and my grandmother got sepsis from there and died. I refuse refuse refuse to put any of my family in one of those walking dead places. 

She's probably afraid to be alone and that is why she is avoiding the topic. 

EAzizM
by on Jul. 16, 2012 at 12:16 AM
1 mom liked this
So what if she agrees to help around the house? Starts cooking and cleaning to help you out, would you still want her out of the house??

Quoting melodynewsome:

She should not be needing a active living place she is more than capable of going to her own home. I feel like she is loving every thing being all done and about her. I need to heal too and now she is capable of doing things but does not want to.




Quoting EAzizM:

I'd love for my MIL to come live with us. None of the elders will be placed in "active living places". She took care of dh his whole life, I would be happy to return the favor. The same goes for my parents.

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