*** I weigh over 200 lbs.***
I can't believe I'm doing this but I'm going to. I'm hoping for some honesty and for any other ladies who can relate to how I feel.
I have always had a weight problem my entire life. My families chinese nickname for me as a kid literally translates to fat girl. I lost alot in college with working out and cutting carbs. I gut down to a size 4 but in all honesty still felt fat then.(However i definitely had alot more attention from guys then ever before.) But it was alot harder to maintain that strict regiment after graduation and entering the workforce. I've gained a lot of weight over the past few years. I'd say about 50 lbs since 2006 & a kid. I've been really really depressed over it...I'm back up close to my highest weight when I was around 16. I dream a lot lately about when I was thinner...
Yesterday we did some random video at work and when I saw it I was even more disgusted ... Seeing yourself on video is just... Horrifying to me lol. My good friend says I don't look nearly as much as I told her I weigh but I DO weigh this much lol. So it doesn't help my self esteem much.
How much do you think I weigh based on these pictures from this morning? Please be honest.
** thank you to everyone for their responses. I really, really appreciate it. I talked to my mother today... And for the first time told how someone how I feel and how it's progressively worsened over the years. She also believes I have body dysmorphia and feels as though I've had since I was young. I'm thinking about looking into talking with someone about it. I really appreciate the honesty and the support ladies. I haven't talked to anyone about the severity of how I see myself and how I am constantly thinking about it all the time. Sure I chat about waNting to lose weight... But never like my true deep down issues with it. I dont think anyone has any idea I feel the way I do. Reading your responses is what encouraged me to say something to my mom. So thank you.