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Not understanding her logic at all ....not meant to offend anyone , just the way I feel !!

Posted by on Jul. 23, 2012 at 9:14 AM
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Okay I have 5 kids and I've been a stay at home mom since our oldest was almost 2 ( that's when it was financially feasible for me to be ). My husband and I own our home and he makes decent money but we're not rich or anything  . I have a cousin who works and so does her husband and she only has 1 child . Her mortgage is a lot less than ours . She is CONSTANTLY saying how I am so lucky and she wishes that she could stay at home with her son . I always say " why don't you , you only have 1 and know you're not having anymore . He'll be in school in just a few short years , stay home with him for a bit " her response is well I would love to but I want to be able to give him everything so I have to work ...okay ? Are you implying that I'm not giving my kids everything because I stay home ? They play instruments , sports  etc .. they have a great time but MOST importantly they have me , there for them always 24 /7 . I mean does she really think when her son is older he is going to be happy that she worked 10 + hours a day . Does she really think that he is going to be happy that he got a  Disney vacation every year but rarely saw his mom during the week ? I mean I just don't get some peoples logic . If your family couldn't survive on only one income or you are a single parent and just can't do it , I totally understand and I get it . If you can easliy pay your bills, still save a little and live comfortably on one income for a few short years while your child is home , why wouldn't you ?

Wondering how others feel about this ?

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by on Jul. 23, 2012 at 9:14 AM
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Replies (1-10):
eesmommy
by Gold Member on Jul. 23, 2012 at 9:17 AM
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I agree with you. I have. a friend who is like your friend. Our dhs worked together for years and she always wondered how we could do itvon his salary, when they struggled with both of them working. Now, after years of watching she says she wishes she had stayed home to raise thier daughter instead of working.
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gemikris82
by on Jul. 23, 2012 at 9:19 AM
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my boyfriend works fulltime and ive been on disability so ive been taking care of my ss.  but i just got a job last week for part time work. now he makes enough for me not to work but i need to work.  i cant sit home...

MamaCass1219
by on Jul. 23, 2012 at 9:20 AM

 The thing with my cousin is they don't struggle at all . She is very frugal with her money , they have so much saved . They have no credit card debt . They could EASILY live off 1 income for a few years until their son starts school . It would be one thing if they were struggling and couldn't manage it ...ya know ?

Quoting eesmommy:

I agree with you. I have. a friend who is like your friend. Our dhs worked together for years and she always wondered how we could do itvon his salary, when they struggled with both of them working. Now, after years of watching she says she wishes she had stayed home to raise thier daughter instead of working.

 

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Pnukey
by Jennifer on Jul. 23, 2012 at 9:22 AM
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If "everything" doesn't include mommy, then it's not going to be enough. :(

Amiehart62
by Silver Member on Jul. 23, 2012 at 9:24 AM
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I stay at home. Both my parents work. I didn't miss out on anything. Not to mention the time apart made our time together that much better. My boys are indifferent when I come and go because I'm always with them. Each scenario has its pros and cons. One isn't better than the other because of the pros and cons.
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kansasmom1978
by on Jul. 23, 2012 at 9:24 AM
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I don't think her son will resent her for working. If she wants to stay home that is her choice. If she prefers to work that is her choice. Children adapt to their situation and if their mommy works, they know that she works. If she stays at home they know she is home. 

MamaCass1219
by on Jul. 23, 2012 at 9:28 AM

Thanks for your thoughts . I like hearing how different people think about things . I'm definitely not saying any way is better than the other . I obviously prefer being home and just wanted to see how others thought about this scenario :) 

eesmommy
by Gold Member on Jul. 23, 2012 at 9:29 AM
Eh, it sounds like she is just making conversation. I know a lady who says that all the time, she has summers basically off and by school time she is pulling her hair out, and threatening to sell them on the black market lol, I would just ignore your cousin and change the subject. Obviously she may want to stay home but she doesnt really really care to.


Quoting MamaCass1219:

 The thing with my cousin is they don't struggle at all . She is very frugal with her money , they have so much saved . They have no credit card debt . They could EASILY live off 1 income for a few years until their son starts school . It would be one thing if they were struggling and couldn't manage it ...ya know ?


Quoting eesmommy:

I agree with you. I have. a friend who is like your friend. Our dhs worked together for years and she always wondered how we could do itvon his salary, when they struggled with both of them working. Now, after years of watching she says she wishes she had stayed home to raise thier daughter instead of working.

 


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tairakittie
by Platinum Member on Jul. 23, 2012 at 9:29 AM
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My mom was a single mom for most of my young life and had to work 2 jobs, but if things were different, I would have wanted her home rather than working full time just so we could have a nice vacation once a year. Ive been a SAHM since my oldest was born 4 1/2 years ago, she is going to prek this year, my son just turned 3 and will be with me for another year before he starts prek and DD is in kinder... SO doesnt make a lot of money, but we felt it made more sense for me to be home with the kids while he worked. We both grew up with our mothers working all the time and as much as I tell my mom its okay, I understand, I wish I had had that time with, so we decided our kids werent going to miss out on that and I stayed home. When they are both in school I may get a part time job, but I still want to be there for them if they need anything, I want to be able to be right there. They are more important to me than any material possession or family vacation. Money doesnt always buy happiness, it rarely does, but family is forever, or at least can be when the members put forth the effort.
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alexsmomma06
by Bronze Member on Jul. 23, 2012 at 9:30 AM

I agree with you. I have been at home since our oldest was 2 as well. SO makes less than 80K a year, but we have a nice home, nice vehicles, and no debt other than our mortgage. We are able to pay our bills, put money in savings, and this have money to play and go on vacations.

I've had people tell me the same thing, that they want to make sure their child has 'everything'. But what about mom? My kids would rather have me at home, then have even more toys they wont play with or more clothes they wont wear. For us, me being at home with them is more important than that extra money in the bank. But at this point, I would have to almost 60K a year for me to clear daycare costs for 3 kids-when I quit my job I was making $11, which is average for my certification.

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