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Im so upset, i thought my husband was smarter than that. *RE-EDIT*

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 I just cant get over last night. We were making a special dinner, that we never ate, when dh opened the hot oven while our son was standing less than a foot away. And guess what an 18 month old would do? He grabbed the fucking hot oven rack and burnt the shit out of his hand. I dont understand how someone could think that was a good idea. We have gates to keep baby out when the oven is on, im not sure why he was standing next to the oven. And even so, why the hell would you open the oven and pull out the rack right next to a kid? I just got so pissed, i asked what the hell was wrong with him, why the hell he would do something like that. I ran some cool water to run his hand under, and sprayed some bactine on his hand. Then went about putting/throwing dinner away and cleaning the kitchen while dh tried consoling ds. I know it wasnt mature, but i just couldnt get over what just happened. Dh yelled at me that i wasnt making it any better, i said im sorry that administering some first aid for our son and bitching at my husband who just made a terrible mistake wasnt helping, but i wouldnt have the opportunity if he hadnt fucked up. I apologized a bit later for flipping out, i knew it was an accident, but god dammit you cant make those kinds of mistakes. I was just shaking. So this morning he barley said bye to me. Maybe i made a big deal out of it, but he didnt seem to make any deal of it, somewhere inbetween would have been good.

I did overreact, i did not scream or yell or cuss. I made sure my son had first aid, then dh consoled him. I needed to remove myself from the situation. I did not throw away all of the dinner, what could be saved was, and what couldnt, went in the garbage. I did talk calmly with dh and apologized for not being more understanding of him. But i just cant look over something like that. Im sure all of you would have said, "oh well, it happens, dont feel bad honey." But i think it was a SERIOUS oversight on his part, and i couldnt look the other way.

Dear lord, READ. I know this is a bash fest on how i reacted, i am not defending that, i know i could have done better. But i did NOT scream and yell, and i DID aplogize to my husband, i know it was a mistake.

Re-Edit: I want to thank all of you for replying, i had no idea i would recieve so many replies. Great support and sympathy. It is experiences like these that give us tools for life as a parent. I feel like now both my husband and i have a new experience to learn from. We have talked again and we have no hard feelings toward eachother about this whole thing. We are a partnership, and sometimes things arent perfect, but we vowed to support eachother. So, dh supports me even though i was an emotional mess, and i support him even though a bit of his carelessness resulted in my son being injured. And my son is ok, the majority of the burn was only on one finger, the rest are just a bit red and shiny. The one with the blister is being taken care of the best i can. Keeping it bandaged/clean is tough on an 18 month old. I think he has forgiven us:)

by on Jul. 23, 2012 at 10:57 AM
Replies (81-90):
mich.el.le
by on Jul. 23, 2012 at 11:51 AM
3 moms liked this

 

Quoting olliesmommy2:

 I couldnt tell by the amount of people saying how yelling didnt help, and i should apologize, my op stated nothing about yelling, and did say i said sorry to my husband. He was consoling because i was upset, better for me to let him handle it. I know, what a shitty mom i am.

Quoting chalisa0:

 Yah, everyone here can read.  Just because we're not all jumping on your bandwagon saying you're right, certainly doesn't mean we can't read.  It just means that you are showing your true side.  Accidents happen.  I know your husband didn't mean to do it and actually felt bad about it, as was shown by the fact that HE was the one to comfort the baby while you stomped around and threw food away.  Anger management classes could help you a lot.

 

 Generally ''what the hell is wrong with you'' isn't said in a calm voice, nor does stomping around throwing food away lend one to believe you were speaking in a calm manner.

olliesmommy2
by Bronze Member on Jul. 23, 2012 at 11:52 AM

 I did make a bigger deal out of it than i should have. I only have one son, i waited to have kids, and i am super emotional about him. Im new at being a mom, 18 months is all the experience i have, and i just hurt so bad seeing him hurt like that. I love my husband, and know he didnt do it on purpose, but in the moment i wasnt thinking about anything but my son was hurt and it could have been prevented. Im sure i will have a heart attack before im 40.

Quoting 3greatkids751:

 Understandable but you blew it WAY out of proportion. Your husband is human and isn't perfect by any means. Shit happens in life that you have no control over. My son burned his hand on a sparkler last 4th of July while in my husbands supervision should I have flipped out on him? NO! My son lived and we moved on in life. He has burned his hand on the stove as well. He did it just recently actually, I told him DO NOT TOUCH IT IS HOT!! What did he do (because hes a little smart butt and like to do what he wants lol) he touched it! He doesn't do it anymore that's for sure! My girls are the same way, they live and learn!

Quoting olliesmommy2:

 I dont need a bubble. But i do have gates that are to be used to avoid this kind of thing. I dont expect my son to never get hurt, he is a very active kid with scrapes and scratches all the time. But its something that could have been easily avoided. I managed to close the gates when i have something hot in the kitchen.

Quoting 3greatkids751:

 Oh wow... You may as well get started on that child proof bubble now!!!

 

 

 

fallingstars13
by on Jul. 23, 2012 at 11:52 AM


Quoting psych_mom:

If it is a 2nd degree burn it will blister anyway. Cold water has nothing to do with that. When my hand was covered in flames and I received 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree burns the EMTS and ER doctors emersed my hand in ice cold saline solution becaue without it my hand still felt like it was on fire. The best thing for burns is actually silvadene cream. It will stop the burning feeling immediately and is also an antibiotic.

Quoting fallingstars13:

you should never run cold water on a burn it'll make it blister and feel ten time worst next time use Aloe on it 


My father is a fire fight and has EMS training and has always told us to never run a burn under cool water, so I follow that rule because it'll blister a smaller burn. I assumed that it was a small burn because she didn't take the child to the ER to treat it.  I have also suffered 2nd and 3rd degree burns as a child I burned my leg on a motorcycle and it blister and cracked and bleed after a few days. As for the silvadene cream your right it is better but not everyone has that off hand aloe is something you can find fast especially in the summer months because of sun burns thus why I suggested it. 

amylulu1
by on Jul. 23, 2012 at 11:53 AM
2 moms liked this

 I think that you reacted according to the situation.  At the time you were scared and upset that your baby was hurt.  You were also frustrated that a preventable accident happened.  You responded exactly how a frustrated, scared mommy does.  ( by scared I mean scared that baby was hurt badly) I can't say that I would have done anything different AT THE TIME.  I think you did the right thing by coming back later and apologizing for reacting in such a way and explaining your feelings to him.  I'm betting that he felt pretty terrible and your reaction compounded his guilt, which is why he is acting a little distant right now.  My only suggestion is to discuss it again and let him know that you understand that accidents do happen and that you know he feels badly about it and also that you didn't mean to make him feel worse. 

Side note- I didn't read all the comments, just your OP, so if I repeated anything, sorry!

psych_mom
by on Jul. 23, 2012 at 11:56 AM

Apparently now you can get it OTC some places. I still have a ton left from where my hand was burned. My husband got a really bad 2nd degree burn recently from the lawn mower and used it. It healed really fast. I think that it is something all parents should ask peds to give them a prescription for when they have little ones since a child usually gets at least one burn. Honestly, if a child grabs a hot stove rack that has been warming up for a while, I think it is going to be at least a 2nd degree burn and needs some attention.

Quoting fallingstars13:


Quoting psych_mom:

If it is a 2nd degree burn it will blister anyway. Cold water has nothing to do with that. When my hand was covered in flames and I received 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree burns the EMTS and ER doctors emersed my hand in ice cold saline solution becaue without it my hand still felt like it was on fire. The best thing for burns is actually silvadene cream. It will stop the burning feeling immediately and is also an antibiotic.

Quoting fallingstars13:

you should never run cold water on a burn it'll make it blister and feel ten time worst next time use Aloe on it 


My father is a fire fight and has EMS training and has always told us to never run a burn under cool water, so I follow that rule because it'll blister a smaller burn. I assumed that it was a small burn because she didn't take the child to the ER to treat it.  I have also suffered 2nd and 3rd degree burns as a child I burned my leg on a motorcycle and it blister and cracked and bleed after a few days. As for the silvadene cream your right it is better but not everyone has that off hand aloe is something you can find fast especially in the summer months because of sun burns thus why I suggested it. 


goldilocksbecky
by on Jul. 23, 2012 at 11:57 AM
2 moms liked this

 

Quote:

I couldnt tell by the amount of people saying how yelling didnt help, and i should apologize, my op stated nothing about yelling, and did say i said sorry to my husband. He was consoling because i was upset, better for me to let him handle it. I know, what a shitty mom i am.

Quote:

I just got so pissed, i asked what the hell was wrong with him, why the hell he would do something like that.
Quote:

Then went about putting/throwing dinner away and cleaning the kitchen while dh tried consoling ds.
Quote:

and bitching at my husband who just made a terrible mistake





 

kybelle
by on Jul. 23, 2012 at 11:57 AM

This happened with my DD at about that age. She took off across the kitchen and smacked the open oven door. Accidents happen. We took her to Urgent care and then they sent us to the childrens hospital for the burn unit. I can understand being upset but even if your son was across the room this still could have happened. I've been in your husbands place. Anytime anything happens to our daughter I'm berated and belittled by my husband and made to feel worse than I already did about it. You need to apologize for being so nasty. It could have just as easily happened to YOU. NO ONE IS PERFECT!

Mom2Boys9501
by Gold Member on Jul. 23, 2012 at 11:58 AM

 Was you in the kitchen when dh and your son was?

orcadarwin
by on Jul. 23, 2012 at 12:01 PM
1 mom liked this

Actually, according to ER doctors, the right thing to do is emerse a burn in cold water.  My son spilled hot chocolate in his lap and got 2nd degree burns.  Took him to the ER and they said that we did right by making him sit in cold water.  

Quoting fallingstars13:


Quoting psych_mom:

If it is a 2nd degree burn it will blister anyway. Cold water has nothing to do with that. When my hand was covered in flames and I received 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree burns the EMTS and ER doctors emersed my hand in ice cold saline solution becaue without it my hand still felt like it was on fire. The best thing for burns is actually silvadene cream. It will stop the burning feeling immediately and is also an antibiotic.

Quoting fallingstars13:

you should never run cold water on a burn it'll make it blister and feel ten time worst next time use Aloe on it 


My father is a fire fight and has EMS training and has always told us to never run a burn under cool water, so I follow that rule because it'll blister a smaller burn. I assumed that it was a small burn because she didn't take the child to the ER to treat it.  I have also suffered 2nd and 3rd degree burns as a child I burned my leg on a motorcycle and it blister and cracked and bleed after a few days. As for the silvadene cream your right it is better but not everyone has that off hand aloe is something you can find fast especially in the summer months because of sun burns thus why I suggested it. 


A mother's child is every breath she takes. Walking hand in hand, every step she takes.

Life is hard.  Kids make the ride more fun.
carterscutie85
by *Shanny's Stalker* on Jul. 23, 2012 at 12:03 PM

I would have reacted the same TBH. But I'd have taken my son to the E.R. since I am over paranoid lol.

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