I live with my Sil and her two sons is 3 and the other is 2 months old. I was changing my son's diaper and my oldest nephew was in the room with me like usual playing. He then showed me his back and said look my mommy hit me and blood came out. I asked him what she hit him with and he said her belt with the horse ( she has a belt that has a metal horse on it) I bought him with me to SO's work and we are hanging out here in the office. I dont know what to do. I feel like screaming at SIL and running away with my nephew.
I know parents spank, but this is different, she hit him with a belt and drew blood:( What do I do?
*update*
It was not an accident. Everyone in his family spanks him and hits threatens him with the belt. I told then it was illegal to hit children with anything other than their hand so know one was hitting him with anything infront of me but GMIL who doesn't speak English. She hit him with a fly swatted and I stopped her. I told SO and she said she will deal with it tomorrow when she gets home from work.
Yes I have seen her hit him, pinch him and bite him. I am not proud of myself for not stopping it but things were/are going on in my life I couldn't afford to piss them off and be kicked out. I try to keep him in my room as much as possible. Things are obviously escalating and it will stop now. I'm not sure what I'm going to yet but I will do something. I am moving soon and I may take him with me or call CPS.
Right now everyone is gone and he is safe in my room watching Dora.
Quoting nicole6870:
Lol! I FULLY agree! I am so tired of feeling torn between letting my kids act like heathens in public and being terrified of disciplining them. Yes, I know everyone would say that the proper action is to leave the store but taking 3 kids is hard enough, add leaving and having to go back?! No thank you.
Quoting GibsonSD92:
Lol. I'm sure she's a wonderful and happy little girl.. So I wouldn't worry too much. :) It's sad how we have to look over our shoulders so much these days when we're taking care of our OWN children though. EX:: I see all these moms on here complaining about kids that misbehave in public places.. Honestly I hate it too, but I would feel like everyone was judging me like a pos if I popped their bottom or got onto them pretty good... I'd probably have cps waiting by my car of they take any advice from this site. Lmao. :)
Quoting nicole6870:
She's 4. One of my worries is that she doesn't communicate what happened. She is amazing with telling stories of magical fairies but she is just as amazing with leaving out important details in life.
Quoting GibsonSD92:
I'm not saying accidents like this never happen, but I feel like he would have communicated it a little differently, or clarified what he meant better when questioned further. I had a horrible accident with my neighbors 18 month old and it looked like I tried to grab him by his back with claws.. But all I did was catch him before he fell out of my arms, face first, onto a hard wood floor and because of my long nails I got him good enough for there to be light marks there the next day.. I was hysterical but he was even able to tell his mom that Nanan hurt him to keep him from falling.. Just wondering, but how old is your dd, if you don't mind sharing?
Quoting nicole6870:
I hit my Dd w/the door yesterday and busted her lip. I jumped up bc she and her sister were fighting and slammed the doorknob right into the baby's mouth as she was coming out to tattle (as I was coming in). If she showed someone and said, "look mommy hit me". It would sound and look terrible when in reality I just collided with her.
Quoting GibsonSD92:
I doubt that's very plausible with the kind of marks she described..
Quoting Punkie74:
So if she was taking the bel off and swung it around to toss it on a chair and didn't realize the kid was standing there then felt awful about it? Yes call CPS and make her life a living hell over an accident that you didn't even talk to her about?? I feel for your siblings!!!
Quoting StrawberryJam12:
Quoting Punkie74:
I would ask her first and gauge her reaction. Nothing like calling CPS and having your sister pissed off at you over an accident.
i wouldn't care how much she would get pissed off at me.
This is difficult. First she's family, and we always want to help family. Second she let you move in when you needed someplace. On the other hand, she's aggressive and he does have marks on his back.
Three year olds don't go into detail. They don't clarify their statement, even after you ask him about it. You have to weigh what he said with what you know of your SIL. It is possible that he got those marks an other way, falling or playing with a dog or cat or other child, and then when his mother spanked him she noticed the scratches and commented on them connecting the spanking with the marks in his mind. Do you think she is violent enough that she would actually hit him hard enough with a belt to cause marks like that? If you think that its not just possible but probable that she caused the injury then you have a duty to her children to do something about it.
thing is....my brothers and my sister in law would NEVER do something like that.
and how would you not be able to tell that the child was there?
this is def cps worthy.....the child bluntly told the aunt that mommy hit her.
Quoting Punkie74:
So if she was taking the bel off and swung it around to toss it on a chair and didn't realize the kid was standing there then felt awful about it? Yes call CPS and make her life a living hell over an accident that you didn't even talk to her about?? I feel for your siblings!!!
Quoting StrawberryJam12:
Quoting Punkie74:
I would ask her first and gauge her reaction. Nothing like calling CPS and having your sister pissed off at you over an accident.
i wouldn't care how much she would get pissed off at me.
Actually it's her grandmothers house we both live here. It's GMIL, mil, sil13, sil22, nephew3, nephew2m, ds3m, SO, and me. If I did something with out SO here (she is at work) I would honestly be scared of some type of retaliation from everyone here.
Quoting MessedUpMama:This is difficult. First she's family, and we always want to help family. Second she let you move in when you needed someplace. On the other hand, she's aggressive and he does have marks on his back.
Three year olds don't go into detail. They don't clarify their statement, even after you ask him about it. You have to weigh what he said with what you know of your SIL. It is possible that he got those marks an other way, falling or playing with a dog or cat or other child, and then when his mother spanked him she noticed the scratches and commented on them connecting the spanking with the marks in his mind. Do you think she is violent enough that she would actually hit him hard enough with a belt to cause marks like that? If you think that its not just possible but probable that she caused the injury then you have a duty to her children to do something about it.
I'm confused about things that don't matter. I'm all for spanking, but drawing blood, wow. Do you think the horse hit him and that is what made him bleed?
So the grandma hit him with the swatter, but the child's mom who is your SIL hit him with the belt that made him bleed? And your SO is a woman? Sorry, I'm just confused.
Well then, something has to be done. You and your SO need to back each other and support each other in this. (I'm sure you will, I didn't mean for that to sound like I thought you or she wouldn't) I understand why you have to wait for your SO to do something. I am glad that the two of you will stand up for him and take care of it. Good Luck.
Quoting pinkiebabii:
I am sure she did it, I have no doubt in my mind the she did.
Actually it's her grandmothers house we both live here. It's GMIL, mil, sil13, sil22, nephew3, nephew2m, ds3m, SO, and me. If I did something with out SO here (she is at work) I would honestly be scared of some type of retaliation from everyone here.
Quoting MessedUpMama:
This is difficult. First she's family, and we always want to help family. Second she let you move in when you needed someplace. On the other hand, she's aggressive and he does have marks on his back.
Three year olds don't go into detail. They don't clarify their statement, even after you ask him about it. You have to weigh what he said with what you know of your SIL. It is possible that he got those marks an other way, falling or playing with a dog or cat or other child, and then when his mother spanked him she noticed the scratches and commented on them connecting the spanking with the marks in his mind. Do you think she is violent enough that she would actually hit him hard enough with a belt to cause marks like that? If you think that its not just possible but probable that she caused the injury then you have a duty to her children to do something about it.
Grandma hit him with the swatted about a week ago.
SIL (his mom) hit him with the belt this morning according to my nephew. I think the horse cut him because he has three scabs like the points on it stabbed into his back.
Quoting Ultra_:I'm confused about things that don't matter. I'm all for spanking, but drawing blood, wow. Do you think the horse hit him and that is what made him bleed?
So the grandma hit him with the swatter, but the child's mom who is your SIL hit him with the belt that made him bleed? And your SO is a woman? Sorry, I'm just confused.
How can I take three children to the store by myself? I have never done this but my husband says he won't go anymore.
- pinkiebabii
on Jul. 30, 2012 at 10:57 PM