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Am I In The Wrong ?

Posted by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 10:35 PM
  • 23 Replies

Ok I will not allow my sons grandfrather (my husband dad)  to see them. And he is not allowed to see them because shortly after my husband passed away he made a comment about my oldest son (His grandson) who has a learning disability. He said "You can tell something is wrong with him when you ask him something he looks at like he is dumb his younger brother got all the brains".

Now once it was brought to my attention that this was said I told him that I did not appericate that comment he has a learning disability and he can hear and has feelings and you will never see him or your another grandson again untill they are 18 cause I do not want you around him talking like that about him.

My brother-in-law (My husband brother) thinks I should let him see them and try and forgive him for the comment I said aboustley not I meant what I said am I in the wrong ladies ? For not letting him see them anymore.

Advice needed my brother-in-law has me really wondering about this

by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 10:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
AdamsWife16
by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 10:39 PM
1 mom liked this

I think you are completely justified in being angry and not letting him see your children.  His comment was completely uncalled for and way out of line.

twisted_charlie
by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 10:39 PM
1 mom liked this

If you want him to have a relationship with their grandfather, talk to him. Make your boundaries clear and go from there.

lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Aug. 3, 2012 at 10:40 PM

I would contact FIL and ask him to apologize to your son.If he can and then be respectful of your son's disability then he will be allowed to have a relationship. I lok at it as your boys lost their dad and Grandpa. You and he can give your boys the grandpa back IF he can be respectful.

spunky946
by Platinum Member on Aug. 3, 2012 at 10:40 PM
Life is short. You never know when he may not be around and you may regret it. I'd give him a second chance.
elle7777
by Gold Member on Aug. 3, 2012 at 10:40 PM
1 mom liked this

It was one horribly stupid comment. As long as he is an otherwise good grand-father I would give him another chance. I think the cut-off is overreacting, and in the end will hurt your kids by denying them a relationship with their grand-father.

1likeme
by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 10:40 PM
I would not allow that person around my children for a very long time. If he came to me with a sincere apology and asked to get to know my children I would let him be around them but not unsupervised. I'm rather strict when it comes to extended family interacting with my children because I have a very abusive family that I do not allow around my children.
juliette12
by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 10:41 PM
no you are not
YllaSurtson
by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 10:43 PM

I can see your point.  Honestly, I think I'd feel the same way.  However, if forgiveness is sought, it should be given.  Just make sure really is sorry and that he realizes he may have really hurt his grandson's feelings.

mandymonk518
by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 10:44 PM
Sad that he said that! Have you spoken to him about terms if they were allowed to visit. My grandpa was like that to my younger bro. Once my mom set him straight everything was good. Maybe try taking to him before cutting him out completely. If he is the kind that won't respect what you ask then by all means you have to do what you feel is right to protect your child. Hope you sort it out:( hugs
teri4lance
by Platinum Member on Aug. 3, 2012 at 10:44 PM
I think you may be over reacting. If he is contrite and recognizes his error and tries to do better, i think he deserves a second chance and your kids deserve to not lose their grandfather over one mistake.
If he doesn't see anything wrong with what he said and continues to act like an ass then he can suck it.
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