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Someone PLEASE talk to me about ADHD kids

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First off, I have a sd who's 8, almost 9, who was just diagnosed last Thursday with adhd and anxieties. I also have a nephew who will be 7 next week who was diagnosed about a year ago with adhd.

Now, my nephew...they put him on meds when diagnosed, and they worked great, just not long enough. He would take them in the morning and by the time he got out of school the meds had worn off and his parents were getting no relief from his behavior what so ever, and he couldn't concentrate to do his homework. I guess they tried a few different things since then, but then I saw him today. As soon as he walked through the door I could tell something was wrong. He was pale as a ghost, and just looked and acted like a zombie. Then my brother tells me they put him on a new med in addition to the one he was already on. He couldn't remember the names of any of his meds. It ripped my heart out to see my nephew like this. He sat on my lap and let me rub his back for awhile, but he just wasn't himself. We went out to dinner for my moms bday and he couldn't even smile or talk through the whole thing. I'm just, seriously crying for him. I don't know how to handle this.
But then there's my sd. Who I don't know how to handle either. She's getting on meds soon but isn't yet. Sometimes, (don't bash me for saying this) but she gets so bad that it would almost be ok for her to sit there and not say anything. But I live with her. I imagine my sil feels the same way about my nephew but my heart breaks for him because I don't see how bad he can get.
I'm just at a loss with both of them. Can someone please help me with this?? :'(
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by on Aug. 5, 2012 at 11:35 PM
Replies (31-36):
by Rachel on Aug. 6, 2012 at 12:27 AM
It's also in their yellow cake doesn't surprise me any more because they hide it in so many products it's ridiculous! And it's not really enhances the look and since people generally are morons, they buy into it :/

Quoting JustMe0326:

Oh yes. I'm thinking red dye is evil.

And I am trying to be super careful with it. Did you know its in Pillsbury crescent rolls?? That one shocked me. I don't understand why its necessary!

Quoting beadingmom17:

I was going to suggest cutting out the red dye if you hadn't girls are allergic to it and it just makes them outright monsters! Just read every label super carefully! It's in so many things you wouldn't even imagine :(

Other than that, see if they can just start her on a low dose of the meds and increase if needed. That might help avoid the zombie-like stuper your nephew seems to be in :(

Quoting JustMe0326:

We're doing that with sd...cut her sugar intake and banned her from red dye 40 just as a trial to see if it helps any. It's when she has a ton of sugar that she turns into a "demon child" (those were her mothers words, not mine).

But thank you for the adhd group.idea. I will def check it out.

Quoting Moogie1005:

I have heard that changes in diet like avoiding highly processed foods can have positive results in ADHD patients. You could probaly find info on google. There is probably an ADHD group on Cafemom. I bet there would be lots of good info there, too.
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by on Aug. 6, 2012 at 12:29 AM

My stepson is 16 and he has ADHD. He has to have another booster dose of his meds at 4pm to get him through the night. ADHD sucks. It's as bad as autism in my opinion and I do have a son with Autism. No attention span, no concentration, no organization. Can't freaking sit still. 

But as long as his meds on right he's okay. He takes Vyvanse 40 mg in the morning and another 10mg at 4pm. It really helps and so far has no side effects.

by on Aug. 6, 2012 at 2:37 PM

change his meds now - go back to the doc immediately.  Sounds like they should have taken him off of the old one to put him on the new one.  That's just too much.  I have 2 adhd boys and never were they like that - even when we changed their meds.  Poor thing.  He needs help now - those meds are NOT correct.  Go back to the doc and if that doc won't do anything - find one that will.

by on Aug. 6, 2012 at 7:29 PM

I have dealt with ADHD children for a long time. One of the things that most people miss are that these children are usually far more intelligent than the average child. This makes them get bored very quickly and that brings on anxiety and they start to act up to try to shed the anxiety. Meds are fine but not the total solution. I had an ADHD child and my sister also had one at the same time. I refused to put mine on meds but she put hers on meds. My son was busy all the time, hers sat on the floor in front of the couch most of the time with his mouth hanging open staring off into space. This child lost of lot of his childhood and growing up learning time because he was a zoombie on meds. My son was kept busy all the time. It was hard on us but it was better than meds. One thing about ADHD children is that they must always be challenged. Give them something that they have to work at. If they have to do the average day to day stuff that all the rest of the kids do they soon become bored and act out. They are smarter and need to be taught on a level high enough to keep their attention. I proved this once in school. the teacher kept saying my son wasn't trying and therefore he was going to fail and be kept back. I told her that he wasn't kept busy enough with challenging lessons. I went to the school and asked her for the next test that they had not taken yet. She said that he couldn't possibly pass it because they hadn't studied for it. I took the test and put him at a desk facing the wall. I had a kitchen timer with me. I put it on 15 minutes and told him he was to finish the test letter perfect with in 15 minutes and if he didn't I would pull down his pants and paddle him right in front of the class. In 12 minutes he had the test back on the teacher's desk with absolutely no mistakes. She then realized that she wasn't challenging enough for him. We worked out a schedule for him to go to other grades for different lessons and it worked perfectly. When the class put their  heads down for rest he was sent on errands for the teacher or principle. The idea was to keep him busy. He couldn't stand in line and be quiet, or any of those other things. As he grew he learned to take the reins of his life and handle them. He graduated top of his class, with scholarships to college. Spent 22+ years in the Air Force and is one of the top security clearance people in the United States. He works overseas on US computer security. He has invented several security programs over the years. He makes more than a million dollars a year. My sister's boy never finished high school, has been in jail numerous times for stealing. Doesn't have a driver's license, but drives everyday. Has been on drugs and drink most of his life, had kids he doesn't pay for ever. So for me keeping my son busy with something more challenging in his life and keeping him on the right track without meds was a hard job but the benefits can't be calculated. I am so proud of him. Now on the other hand the next child was a girl and she was LD, Learning Disabled. We worked with her and helped her without meds and now at 45 she owns her own business, in fact two of them. Has traveled the world and is totally and completely financially independent and has been all her working life. She is also dyslexic but we worked with her on that too. So you figure it out for yourself. Do you want to dope them up so they can't learn or help them and only use the meds if its absolutely essential. Good luck. You just maybe lucky enough to have a really bright child on your hands and its your responsibility to do the best there is for him.

by on Aug. 6, 2012 at 7:34 PM

Most any foods with food coloring should be avoided by ADHD children. Like koolaid, or other things, even jello and anything with food color especially red. Also, anything with too much sugar again like koolaid and cereals and ice creams. Even crystal light can cause problems. Sometimes you will notice your child getting hyper after drinking kool aid and its because of the food coloring. Be very careful with their daily diet it does effect them.

by on Aug. 11, 2012 at 4:00 PM

Quoting Moogie1005:

My DH would agree with the self discipline approach. He is not medicated. His grandfather taught him how to control his behavior. It took lots of work, time, and patience, but is well worth it.

Quoting Apollos82:

Sometimes, medication should not be the ONLY approach. I have ADHD. I took Dextroamphetamine and then Strattara. I loved being on both of them. They worked VERY well and I was never a zombie, just a calmer, more focused me. It was heaven. Sadly, my heart did not agree, but I have heart problems to begin with. Not everyone's heart reacts the way mine did.

The medications taught me what "normal" is and my parents and teachers worked very hard with me on self discipline. It's KEY to overcoming ADHD. I strongly suggest a therapist (think occupational therapist not "shrink"!) who can help you SD and you guys learn how to teach self control and balance. It's well worth it.

Would love to know what he taught son is ADHD and would have no idea what he could be taught to control his impulsiveness.

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