I took the boot from my dh and put it up his sons rear!!!!!! EDIT
We have had issues with SS for a long time now. To the point that I back off, disengaged form it all to keep the peace, or at least attempt it. I have placed all responsibility on my dh for his son. I dont wash his clothing, I dont enforce bedtime, bathing, chores. I dont go pick him up for visits or drop him off.
Things have only gotten worse tho.
Dh went to pick SS friday. Since then, the boy has been on our desktop, his laptop and his DS, all three at the same time, all night and day. Only sleeping for a few hours here and there.
I woke up this morning about 6 am to pee. I go past SS room and there he is, tv going, lamp going, and both the DS and his laptop going! I went balistic! I told dh if he didnt go up and do something, I will and neither he nor SS will like it. ( yesterday, I asked dh if he was afraid to punish ss, he replied with a no)
Dh just sat on the couch this morning. I demanded he go up there. I said if he didnt like it, he could take ss home to his mother and if she didnt like it, she can come get him!!!!!
Dh went up there, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah. No action. I went up there next. I told SS that he is 12 and knows when he has pissed someone off, and he has pissed me off! I told him that he knows with all his time on the internet that I speak truth when it is too much and can hurt him mentally, physically and emotionally. I told him that I am taking the laptop and his DS. He will ask for permission to get on our desktop. He will earn his stuff back from me. He will also be going to bed tonight at 10 pm on the fucking dot! I told him I loved him, whether he wanted to believe me or not and that I will not watch him destroy himslef anymore in my home!!!!!
I also took his lamp form his room! ( I have had issue with him leaving lamp on 24/7) I have asked him to turn it off when not in there and at night. I asked him if he was afraid of the dark. No was my answer, but light stayed on anyway, so light is gone now!
I came to the realization last night that I am part of this too. I am not helping the situation by letting dh handle his monster of a kid, when he wont do a thing! I was too afraid of SS not wanting to come see his dad because of me. I was afraid of BM getting pissed and not allowing my husband to see his son because of me. Fuck that shit. She cant legally do that to dh so fuck her and her rages and SS disrespectful ways. I took a stand! Got my home back. And I will not let go!!!!
HAHAHAHHAAA! you ladies crack me up! If I dont say anything, I am failing the boy. If i do say something and take action, I am an evil parent!
Every post I have made pretty much that concerned SS and his behaviors, most of you have told me to get with it and take charge, rule my home and not to let dh be such a slacker with his son. i do just that and I get how evil I am! You tell me I am doing SS a disservice as one of his parents by standing by and doing nothing. WOW.
Yes, I am more pissed at dh and let him know it. Since this morning we have talked more about this issue. I told dh that SS wanting to be on a computer is not worth my marriage going in the shitter and if Dh felt otherwise, he was free to go. I am fighting for this boys health and well being (albeit, finally) and my marriage (been depresssed and thinking of leaving over all this). Again, I dont care if the boy likes me. He dont come here to see me, he comes to see his dad. Time with his dad is what they will get since no more computer is in the picture (which btw, I have not taken indefianately, he must earn them back) Dh is getting his son back and realizing his parenting skills need tweeked as well. I have a 17 yr old who does get online, but not constantly, not all night long either. He is alseep ata decent hour and gets up at a decent hour. If I am so fucking bad, then how the hell did my own kid turn out so well?