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What would be the nicest way for my DH and I to invite over a friend who never leaves her dog at home (unless she's going to work or somewhere the dog isn't allowed in legally)?? We're not animal people. We don't hate animals, we just don't have any pets aside from hermit crabs and fish, but we're 100% ok with that. We may get a dog when our kids are a little older. We grew up with dogs and know how to care for them. ...We just don't want them now. Anyway, her dog is somewhere between puppy age and adult age but she's not very well trained. Last time I saw her she jumped on me and ripped the hell out of my skirt. It really pissed me off because it didn't even seem like my friend was training her not to jump on people. We REALLY want to invite this friend of ours over along with everyone else...but I know she is going to want to bring the dog. What should we do? I don't want to hurt her feelings at all.

Lilypie Maternity tickers

by on Aug. 11, 2012 at 5:41 PM
Replies (21-24):
by Silver Member on Aug. 11, 2012 at 6:44 PM

Then I would tell her it is a new house and you would rather not have the dog there. If she can't understand that then she just won't be invited over. 

Quoting mkh615:

We haven't had her here since she got the dog. We just bought the house in June though...but the last time we went for coffee she brought the dog and we couldn't go INSIDE and drink the coffee even though it was about 100 degrees and I'm fat and pregnant.

Quoting sarah824:

I would tell her that you would love for her to come over, but could she leave the dog at home? If she says no then you will have to tell her she can't come over. If you are really that good of friends then honesty should work.

However, if you have let her bring the dog several times and now are having an issue with it then it may be harder to tell her. Should have nipped this in the bud early on. 



by on Aug. 11, 2012 at 6:52 PM

The only simple way to do this is to just not invite her over.  I've skimmed the replies, so I've gathered the dog is like a child to her.

Ask if she would take a toddler to a home full of hazards.  Then maybe explain to her that your home is not set up for dogs, and it would be no different than leaving a 1 year old with a butter knife, a bucket of water, and an outlet!  This is usually true when people don't own dogs but allow them in their home.

Dogs can easily be killed by:
Many human foods left within reach
Chewing/eating rugs, dolls, etc.  (Intestinal blockages!)
Wires/cables either chewed or tangled in
Knocking things over onto themselves
Escaping the house in a strange neighborhood
Toxic plants  (Plenty of plants that are safe for kids/humans can kill dogs!  And this is a major reason why you don't just say "Oh, can I put Fido in the backyard then?"  Not unless you've checked their garden/lawn!)
Crawling under the reclining chair of a person not used to having to watch out for dogs before slamming it closed!
And much more!

When you get a puppy, you quickly learn what things you need to fix in your home to make it safe.  (Ideally, you've done some research first.  But the only way to really know is to let 'em loose and see what they try to get into!)

Tell her how much you value the friendship, and just explain as best you can that you are not OK with having other people's pets over.  Say you wouldn't mind going with her to dog parks sometimes, you just ask she not bring her dog to your home.

by Gold Member on Aug. 11, 2012 at 6:59 PM

Honestly? Tell her you would prefer she doesn't bring the dog. I'm a huge dog lover and animal activist, but I would not be the least bit offended if someone said to please leave my dog at home. And if she's a friend, you should be able to ask that of her.

by Sue on Aug. 11, 2012 at 7:18 PM

Just tell her that you have asked all of your friends that are coming not to bring their pets and that includes her.

Sue ~ Head Admin
~ D.V. Survivor/Admin

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