My friend is a bad mother *sigh*

[MamOfAnAngel]

She isn't capable of minding,feeding,cleaning or even interacting with her just gone 1 year old... She was an alcoholic before she got pregnant, when she found out she was 3 weeks pregnant she stopped drinking.. Well i know she had a few sneaky drinks while she was pregnant but won't own up to it.. Her boyfriend broke up with her while she was pregnant, then a month after their dd was born they got back together. I never liked her boyfriend but i have to say he was a great father and took real good care of his dd. She was always lazy and too laid back so let him do everything with the child. They have broke up now again and he hasnt been in the picture for about a month. I regulary check in on my friend and she comes down to me. I have noticed empty vodka bottles in her kitchen and asked her if she had some of her other friends in hers drinking the night before and she flat out told me no, she drank it alone.. I tried telling her she can't get back into them bad old habits because she has her dd there that needs her mom, she tells me it was a once off and she wont do it again, but i know what she's like, she will do it again, only next time she'll hide the evidence. As for her poor dd, her clothes smell damp and are always dirty and wears them a few days in a row her hands and face are always dirty, she never takes out a wipe to clean her, she will just leave her like that till bedtime. She won't even interact with her dd, like play,mess or even teach... I have tried to correct her but she never listens and brushes me off... I feel sorry for her dd and don't know what to do or even what to say anymore to her. Any helpful suggestions or opinions on this would be appreciated.

[whowhat]

What state are you in?

[OneToughMami]

:-/ why have you not called cps

[Lizard_Lina]

I would call the ex boyfriend and see if he wanted to step in before getting state involved

[momof1boy2girl]

Call the dad if he won't come get baby call cps

[LindaDarling]

I don't think I would have been able to send the baby back home with her.  She does need help, and just counseling doesn't seem like enough.  She needs more of an in-patient program it sounds like.  She needs to dry out from the alcohol and get help for the depression.  You should have a frank conversation with her about what she is doing to herself and her daughter.  Contact some professionals yourself and they might have some advice for you on how to approach the situation.  Making sure the child is in a safe environment is #1.  

[TristaB]

CPS knocking on her door may be the exact reality check she needs. They don't just come take your kid or anything. They talk to you, check the home, blah blah blah and more often than not its dismissed. But maybe them being there will make her see there is a problem. The kid is being neglected and that's not ok... I couldn't turn my cheek..

Quoting MamOfAnAngel:

Quoting TristaB:

Why not call CPS and let the child actually be taken care of? she obviously doesn't care about her and would rather be drunk.

i've thought about it but i know i couldn't be the one that helps get her child taking off of her, im not the only person that see's this happening, her other friend's see it too. I like her she's a nice person to talk to, always there to cheer you up and fun to be around. Her bad points are being lazy and drinking and that's what makes her a bad mom. Im sorry but i don't have it in me to report it. I hope she snaps out of it soon and realises she is doing a bad job with her dd before someone does report her. So im asking please have any of you any motivational, cruel to be kind or reality check speeches for me to tell her so i can help her snap out of it?

[Meli55aG2001]

So you want to see if someone else will make the call so that you don't look like the bad guy? Stop making excuses and do something before that little girl ends up badly hurt or god forbid, dead.

[kgsharber]

 If no one else will do anything you just have to make sure you are as involved in that little girl's life as possible. She needs you.

[Ariellasmom]

Call cps

[kiowaqueen]

Call the dad and tell him if he won't come get her tell him ur calling cps