My mil can't respect me

[newmomof1won]

She can't respect me, not for nothing & not for anything. I am
Looking to vent because I don't know what else to do.
My mil CANNOT respect me, no matter what. Now, I know, that she is my elder. And I was raised strongly in that, "to respect my elders". I don't care if that person aint but three years older than you, you need to respect them. But no matter what I do, she has to be cutting, competitive & put me down. I have tried buying her gifts, calling her & seeing how she's doing, doing things for her but no matter what I do, she still can't treat me right!
So after four years of putting up with the bs I have finally gotten to the point where, I am kind to her & don't treat her wrong but:
1-I don't facilitate inviting her to my house & I don't initiate her having contact with my kids. Now if she calls, sure I take the call, Skype or whatever, but I don't initiate.
If she can't treat me like a basic human being or even the mother of her grand kids & the wife of her son, that's fine. God bless her. I will pray for her but I'm done putting myself in the way only to get treated like crap. If you were in my position, what would you do?

[Small10]

Exactly what you are doing. i don't blame you. my mil doesn't respect me either but she does in a bitchy way, she is nice with a underlining tone..

[SareyF]

I would do just what you are and try to let go of any bad feelings or resentment I harbored.

[SecretSuzy]

I would do exactly what you are doing..

[newmomof1won]

Yep, that's my mil...it's nice with an underlying tone.
I'm not really sure what the issue is. We were building a friendship until THE DAY that I married her son. After that we were done. Except I didn't get the memo. She has been extremely cutting from that point forward.

Quoting Small10:

Exactly what you are doing. i don't blame you. my mil doesn't respect me either but she does in a bitchy way, she is nice with a underlining tone..

[newmomof1won]

And to add to that, I know that dh & me moved quick. We were engaged, dating & married within six months & I get that may have been hard for her to adjust to, but it's been 5yrs now..

[frndlyfn]

She can respect you but has decided for some reason you are not worthy of that respect.  Perhaps just keep remaining civil but not iniating any contact as you have been.  She may have underlying issues that she isnt addressing to proceed in a healthier manner.

[prdmomnarmywife]

I would tell her very nicely , if she's not whiling to treat you with common respect,then you no longer want contact with her until she will . She may speak to the kids ,dh .. With the accepting that it is not to bad mouth you . Other then that no contact with you . Tell her You do not need to be treated that way .

[Momto3inMI]

I dealt with 2 EVIL  MIL's. I feel ur pain! Glad I am out of that situation but ur right, she has NO right to disrespect u!

Im not sure what to tell u but I cut ALL Negative and Toxic ppl out of my Life 3 years ago and I have been much happier.

Good Luck!

[redlady125]

I would do. the exact same thing u r doing. Things will get better.

[dobrd]

newmomof1won,  There is one thing of 'Respecting Your Elders' but, a totally different aspect is 'You Allow' this.. How she treats you is all about her knowing how you feel abut yourself.. Does your DH treat you like she does? I don't care whose mother it is, you don't allow this cruel treatment from her or anyone else.. Just once, tell her that you are not going to allow her to talk to you this way anymore.. If your on the phone, after you tell her, hang up, or the next time she insults you while she's in the same place, tell her off.. I doubt she'll be so quick to do it again.. If she does, let her have it again.. You really need to stick up for yourself Honey.. She needs to stay out of your face/business.. Take Care, Donna....