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Venting...am i wrong? *thanks everyone*

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I went to pick up my second son from his dads yesterday. My son asked for the ipad. I said daddy has the ipad in chicago. Then my sons grandmother spoke up and said DONT CALL DAVID(df) DADDY! Jason(ds bio father) is his only daddy. I said ds knows who his daddy is. Df has been in my sons life since he was 10 months old. Ds is 4 now. Df does everything he can for our kids. I dont understand why its such a big deal. I didnt make ds call df daddy. He did that in his own. Even my oldest calls df daddy and he understands completely. Ds sees his real dad 2 days a week. Sees df 5 days a week. I just dont get it. Df loves all the kids and does everything he can. It just makes me upset that she corrected me infront of my son. Its not like we just met and im making my son call him daddy its been almost 4 years! And ds dad is2 a good dad, df has not problems with him. Df even wanted to invite jason to ds bday party. Just venting i guess. Just makes me upset. It seems like they drill DAVID into my sons head. But when we get home he calls him daddy. Idk. I guess this is a rambling post. Thanks to who over reads it. .
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by on Aug. 29, 2012 at 9:45 AM
Replies (51-60):
sidneyb
by on Aug. 29, 2012 at 10:36 AM
No prob. Also my son calls his step mom "mom" i dont have an issue with that either.

Quoting mandiNthomas:

Thanks




Quoting sidneyb:

My son calls his stepdad and his dad "daddy" neither seem to care

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SnapIt
by Movin' on up on Aug. 29, 2012 at 10:38 AM
1 mom liked this
You stop it by not encouraging it
If you can encourage other words for him to learn and say, you can do it by having him learn to call david on however he can pronounce his real name until he can perfect it as much as possible.
You need to learn how to separate both kids.
Im starting to wonder if you want JASONs son to call david daddy. Since you just said you didnt want for dfs to start calling him david

They are 2 different kids from 2 different fathers. Its your responsibilty to teach them right and wrong. And who is who and respectfully who should be called daddy


Quoting mandiNthomas:

Jason is a good father. My son called everyone daddy even me for the first 2yrs he could talk. They didnt see anything wrong then my sin gas speech apraxia and couldn't say anything else. Now he calks me mommy and jason daddy and david daddy. I never corrected it but i guess im wrong. I didnt see it as wrong because df has been here since ds was a baby and saw him as a daddy. But jason is a good dad ive never said anything bad about jason and im not taking anything away from him or trying to replace him. Ds calls them both daddy how do i stop it. I dont want dfs daughter to start calling him david. Thanks...




Quoting SnapIt:

Then why enable it by letting the kid call the othet guy daddy?
Even if the kid started to call him daddy on his own (which im having a hard time believing) you still are letting him by repeating it. The kid only has 1 father and thats jason. So you needed to correct that when ypu heard it the first time
Instead you fed him the spoon of ok
Deep down this is your issue in wishing the other guy was your sons dad. Well he isnt
Unless jason hasnt been around at all or dead, its wrong to confuse your "4" yr old like that
Quoting mandiNthomas:

Ive alwsys told ds that jason is his daddy.



Quoting justhavingfun.:

I don't know what to think about this. My boyfriend is my kids' dad by the meaning of the word. Their real dad is not in their life but he's just 'Our Joey' not dad or daddy. Four is a little young to make that decision by yourself and if you're constantly TOLD that's your daddy, you start to go with it.





He HAS a dad. His dad is in his life. David is a good guy, I'm sure, but you only have ONE dad.



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afwifeandmommy3
by on Aug. 29, 2012 at 10:38 AM
My dh has this issue with ss. I understand why she said it .
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myangels2
by Silver Member on Aug. 29, 2012 at 10:39 AM
I've been in my step Daughter's life for 16 years. She did call me mommy a couple times and I would just correct her and say, "you have a mommy, I'm your Kimmy".

She would call a couple of her mom's boy friends Daddy and that would kill my DH.

If he has a good Dad who's in his life like you said he is, then why hurt his father like that?


Quoting mandiNthomas:

I would understand it if she was in his life for a long time. You know. Idk..




Quoting myangels2:

How would you feel if your son called his step mother Mommy?





I agree with your sons grandmother...

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afwifeandmommy3
by on Aug. 29, 2012 at 10:40 AM
Why not encourage daddy Jason or something ?
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momswag
by on Aug. 29, 2012 at 10:41 AM

OP, flip the situation. 

Your son's father meets a woman, the woman is spending a quite a bit of time with your son. Your son sees said woman as a motherly figure and calls her mommy, how would you feel? 

The amount of time the woman is in his life is irrelevant because it's about how he feels and what he's comfortable with, right? You wouldn't have a problem with your son calling another woman, who isn't his mother "mommy"? 

happymommy1105
by Platinum Member on Aug. 29, 2012 at 10:44 AM
1 mom liked this
If Your son called another woman mommy, you may put on a brave face but your heart would be in a million pieces.

You need to think of his dads emotions.

This other man is not his dad. end of story.

His dad is there and loves him.

There are other terms that he can call your df without stepping on toes.

You are the adult, stop making excuses and teach Your child another term to call df.
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ProudMom9799
by on Aug. 29, 2012 at 10:46 AM

does jason have a problem with ds calling david daddy? or is it just the grandmother? i'm sure jason is aware that your son has speech issues which complicate the situation.

at that age they also mimic what everyone else calls david....so if your other children are calling him daddy - they your ds will prob follow suit.

my 3yr old has called my dh babe on occassion because that is what he hears me call him lol

Quoting mandiNthomas:

Its not like i was intentionally being disrespectful. Ds loves both jason and david what do i do?

Quoting JoshRachelsMAMA:

It's not cool, especially since your son's father is a part of his life. It's disrespectful. It was wrong of your mother in law to call you out in front of the kid, but that was probably just reactionary and unintentional. What you're doing is intentional, and I can see why it would be unacceptable to them.

How does your ex feel about this? I personally would be extremely upset if my ex were encouraging my children to call a stepmother "mom".

Quoting mandiNthomas:

My son can barely speak on top of that. So saying david isnt going to happen he can barely say his own name. Ive already asked the gma to back off ds cant even say david...he has speech apraxia and i told her to give him time and if he wants to call him daddy or david when he gets older he will. My son doesnt call my ex mil by her first name..my son doesnt call anyone by thier first name..idk ill calm down soon i guess..it just irritates me .





Quoting JoshRachelsMAMA:

It's confusing. One can be daddy and the other can be pop or something like that.





Quoting mandiNthomas:

Ive alwsys told ds that jason is his daddy.









Quoting justhavingfun.:

I don't know what to think about this. My boyfriend is my kids' dad by the meaning of the word. Their real dad is not in their life but he's just 'Our Joey' not dad or daddy. Four is a little young to make that decision by yourself and if you're constantly TOLD that's your daddy, you start to go with it.









He HAS a dad. His dad is in his life. David is a good guy, I'm sure, but you only have ONE dad.







 

eema.gray
by on Aug. 29, 2012 at 10:56 AM
1 mom liked this

From a speech apraxia point of view (my son has it also), I would point out that David and Daddy start out with the same sounds and it's easier for a child with this issue to call both men in his life by the same title.  One of the games we played with my son was a picture and word game of matching faces and titles - sister, brother, eema, abba, etc.  With a game like that, you and his therapist could work on reinforcing titles that everybody is comfortable with.

wildlilacs
by on Aug. 29, 2012 at 10:59 AM
1 mom liked this
Your kids have 2 fathers that love them, that is great! Kids arent stupid, they know who is who. Most kids have 2 sets of grandparents, they dont get them mixed up. If Jason is okay w it, I dont see a problem.
I might be bothered if my kids called another mom, however, if they lived w her fulltime for several years, and she wasnt one upping me, then I could deal w it.
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