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What would you do in this situation? *edit*

Posted by on Sep. 1, 2012 at 2:20 PM
  • 48 Replies

I'm due to have a c-section on Dec. 12, 2012. I am having hernia repair surgery either the 13th or he 14th. My SIL is having a wedding (she and her HUSBAND got married already in June 2012 at city hall because he was being stationed in Hawaii in July.) on January 20, 2013. The baby will be just shy of 6 weeks and I will still be recovering from the c-section and hernia surgery. My OB said I probably shouldn't fly mainly because of how stressful it will be to be on 12 hour flight with a 6 week old, 3 yr old and 4.5 yr old. We'd only be going from Friday Jan 19th-Monday Jan 22nd. 24 hours of that will be on a plane. Our plane tickets cost $4000 and we have to get a hotel room and a rental car. I'm a graduate nursing student and my husband just started a new job at a law firm. I'll be missing school and DH will be using two of his vacation days. His family accepts that the new baby and I cannot go. DH does not want to take our two girls on a plane for 24 hours alone, so they will not be going. His family wants just him to go alone to Hawaii and leave me here with three kids after two surgeries. We have no one who can stay with us and help me with all three girls. I'll be completely alone from Friday-Monday. What do you think I should do? Should I suck it up and deal with DH going away? Should I just go even though I might be in pretty bad shape still? Or do you think he should stay home?


*edit* For the record, I NEVER said DH was going or even WANTED to go. He's not a jerk and he's not dead set on going and leaving me home. I was simply asking what everyone else thought because I didn't know if I was being unreasonable for making him stay home. So, can we please stop calling him a mama's boy, a jerk and saying he needs to get some balls. If I say I need him to stay home, he WILL stay home.


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Posted by on Sep. 1, 2012 at 2:20 PM
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Bknotnobody
by Sadie on Sep. 1, 2012 at 2:21 PM
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Hell no! DH should stay with you. End of story.
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Scarlette.Rogue
by on Sep. 1, 2012 at 2:23 PM

I think your DH should stay at home with you and help out with the children and house

shadow_lark
by Gold Member on Sep. 1, 2012 at 2:24 PM
I agree

Quoting Bknotnobody:

Hell no! DH should stay with you. End of story.
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mkh615
by on Sep. 1, 2012 at 2:24 PM

Yeaaaa. That's what I'm thinking but MIL 1. Has never had a c-section, so she doesn't understand the recovery can be anywhere from 2 weeks-10 weeks. 2. Thinks I'm being a weak little b*tch for acting like I NEED dh here with me. 3. Hates me as much as I hate her.

Quoting Bknotnobody:

Hell no! DH should stay with you. End of story.



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SoKamele
by Silver Member on Sep. 1, 2012 at 2:28 PM

 You need to stay home and he needs to stay home with you. End of story!

I've had a c-section.....and didn't even have to deal with other kids....and I was just about useless...I can't imagine another surgery on top of that.

They already got married......this is just a party now. It's crazy to even think about going....and if your husband is considering it.........well then ya'll need to have a serious sit down.

crwspringer
by Platinum Member on Sep. 1, 2012 at 2:28 PM
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This might not be the popular opinion, but after 5-6 weeks you should be recovered pretty well. I think hubby should go by himself. You will be ok.
My hubby had hernia surgery last year and was jogging again less than 2 weeks later. I know, add a c section on top of that for you but it should be ok.
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taKENheart
by Flovely on Sep. 1, 2012 at 2:29 PM

 I wouldn't go and I wouldn't want my dh to go with or without the girls.  If my dh really wanted to go then I would tell him to go BUT...then I would probably pout about it and declare that all meals will be delivery AND he would go and buy me everything I would possibly need before he left.  I'm talking new movies, magazines, ice cream and chocolate, kid supplies to occupy them etc....
I know, I am terrible :P

Bknotnobody
by Sadie on Sep. 1, 2012 at 2:30 PM
Who gives a rats behind about mil? He married you and should cut the mommas boy crap. You're his wife he should step up and help out.

Quoting mkh615:

Yeaaaa. That's what I'm thinking but MIL 1. Has never had a c-section, so she doesn't understand the recovery can be anywhere from 2 weeks-10 weeks. 2. Thinks I'm being a weak little b*tch for acting like I NEED dh here with me. 3. Hates me as much as I hate her.


Quoting Bknotnobody:

Hell no! DH should stay with you. End of story.


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Denecia
by Gold Member on Sep. 1, 2012 at 2:31 PM
Idk, if it was me, he would go. Csections don't take that long to heal from. I have never had herina surgery but I have had back surgery and I went on a trip 10 days after. I guess it just depends on the person.
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mkh615
by on Sep. 1, 2012 at 2:41 PM

Was it a hernia in the groin area? I've got an epigastric hernia that's currently about 3 inches long and is geting bigger as I get further into my pregnancy. It's not going to be an itty bitty out patient surgery with about 8 stitches (DD had one of those at age 2) 

Quoting crwspringer:

This might not be the popular opinion, but after 5-6 weeks you should be recovered pretty well. I think hubby should go by himself. You will be ok.
My hubby had hernia surgery last year and was jogging again less than 2 weeks later. I know, add a c section on top of that for you but it should be ok.



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