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Why?? I Just Have To Know

Posted by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 5:06 PM
  • 34 Replies

 Why is it that when the father of  child/children gets a new g/f or new wife they always try to be mommy? Or in some cases tell the child/children they are the new and only mommy?

Im notice on here a few posts where the step parent or g/f says its their child since the father is primary residence. I even had to deal with this in real life when I was away for training in the Army this girl moves into my home and took my husband (now ex husband) and told my daughter (who was 5 almost 6) that she was now mommy. She told my daughter I was no longer mommy because I didnt stay with her that I was far away. When I joined the Army my marriage wasnt the greatest but it wasnt too bad. My ex told me when I got done training he would move down to my duty station (which happen to be in TX and he was in CT) so we would be together well that g/f had him file divorce and forced my daughter to call her mommy. My daughter knows Im her only mommy and I speak with her daily on the phone and I go see her when I can plus I send packages several times a year. These women need to learn to back off and let the father and mother parent the child.

by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 5:06 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Sep. 26, 2012 at 5:14 PM
1 mom liked this

I am sorry that happened to you. That is so wrong. I do believe that the child has 1 mom and a step parent or anyone else should never tell that you that bio mom isn't his/her mom. I do think that when a child lives with his/her father and step mom , that the step mom should be disciplining and helping to raise the child. So in that I disagree with you. If the step mom is home and the child acts out do you think she should just sit back and let the child go at it until dad gets home? Shouldn't the step mom treat this child as she does her own because in my opinion when you marry a person with children they become your children. That child just gets another person to love them.

MIA0223
by Ruby Member on Sep. 26, 2012 at 5:16 PM
Not the case in my family,
I love the boys, but I am not their mom. Never will be.
They do call me mama Isra or my mother Isra sometimes recently but this is after me making it clear not to years ago.
I have just been part of their lives for so long they decided to call me that!
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SilverOcean84
by Cindy on Sep. 26, 2012 at 5:26 PM

 I dont see a problem helping discipline in their own home but what I was referring to was them trying to mess with visitations, schooling, activities and things like that. Or even trying to change things to try and cut the other parent out of their so/dh lives.

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

I am sorry that happened to you. That is so wrong. I do believe that the child has 1 mom and a step parent or anyone else should never tell that you that bio mom isn't his/her mom. I do think that when a child lives with his/her father and step mom , that the step mom should be disciplining and helping to raise the child. So in that I disagree with you. If the step mom is home and the child acts out do you think she should just sit back and let the child go at it until dad gets home? Shouldn't the step mom treat this child as she does her own because in my opinion when you marry a person with children they become your children. That child just gets another person to love them.

 

lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Sep. 26, 2012 at 5:27 PM


Quoting SilverOcean84:

 I dont see a problem helping discipline in their own home but what I was referring to was them trying to mess with visitations, schooling, activities and things like that. Or even trying to change things to try and cut the other parent out of their so/dh lives.

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

I am sorry that happened to you. That is so wrong. I do believe that the child has 1 mom and a step parent or anyone else should never tell that you that bio mom isn't his/her mom. I do think that when a child lives with his/her father and step mom , that the step mom should be disciplining and helping to raise the child. So in that I disagree with you. If the step mom is home and the child acts out do you think she should just sit back and let the child go at it until dad gets home? Shouldn't the step mom treat this child as she does her own because in my opinion when you marry a person with children they become your children. That child just gets another person to love them.

 

   Sorry I misunderstood. I am totally  onboard since you clarified.

Surround yourself with people that add to your life not subtract from it.

MrsRinehart2010
by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 5:27 PM
1 mom liked this

 i dont care what the situation is I will an alway will be my childrens only mom. Even if my  husband an I split up an he got with some one else she would be refered by her name nothing else. No other woman besides me pushed those babys out.

happymommy1105
by Platinum Member on Sep. 26, 2012 at 5:29 PM
I'm a stepmom.

I am NOT her mother. I dont want to be her mother. she has a mother.
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Baybeelove88
by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 5:32 PM
People are so rediculous, if god forbid anything happened between dh and I, he would still be their dad, I wouldn't allow the other guy to be their daddy, whatever caused our hypothetical divorce, he is a good father and he loves our children, and I think he would feel the same way...
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Jamie1972
by Silver Member on Sep. 26, 2012 at 5:34 PM
1 mom liked this
When dh and I were dating his dd was 4 yrs old. When he had one of his few visits with her the two of us got to know each other. One day while we were playing beauty parlor she asked me if she can call me mommy. I told her no. That she has a mommy and that she will always be her mommy. I'm jamie,just jamie. But I'm your friend now and forever. I didn't want to take her mothers place I didn't feel right I didnt want to cause any hard feelings or drama.
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SilverOcean84
by Cindy on Sep. 26, 2012 at 6:07 PM

 I wish more g/f or step moms were like that. That was great what you told her

Quoting Jamie1972:

When dh and I were dating his dd was 4 yrs old. When he had one of his few visits with her the two of us got to know each other. One day while we were playing beauty parlor she asked me if she can call me mommy. I told her no. That she has a mommy and that she will always be her mommy. I'm jamie,just jamie. But I'm your friend now and forever. I didn't want to take her mothers place I didn't feel right I didnt want to cause any hard feelings or drama.

 

-KJ
by Bronze Member on Sep. 26, 2012 at 6:12 PM
My SS called me mom on his own. He has his mom but I am also his mom....I love him, care for him, provide for him. The same she does, he started calling me mom at about 6, he is now 12.
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