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Can a child know they are gay at...

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age 11? A friend of mine came to me and told me her 11 year old DD ( just turned 11) dropped a bomb on her and said she was gay.... can she know at that age,?She hasn't done anything sexually......My friend doesn't know what to say to her DD to reassure that she loves her, doesn't know what questions to ask.....I mean she has reassured her she loves her  but she is just a little shocked and wondering if her DD might just be confused. She asked her DD what she thought it meant and her DD told her exactly what it meant..... but can the child just be confused?

by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:25 PM
Replies (11-20):
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:32 PM
1 mom liked this

Sorry her DD doesn't want anyone knowing, not the friend..... wanted to clarify that!

by Bronze Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:32 PM
1 mom liked this

People are born gay. Its not a choice. So you'd probably be able to tell at a pretty early age.

by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:33 PM
Yup. My best friend knew he was gay when we were ten.
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by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:33 PM

very true..... !

Quoting peanutsmommy1:

We would never question a girl who says she wants to marry a boy at 11, why do we assume a girl cant know she wants to marry a girl at the same age?

by Emerald Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:33 PM

Yes definitely let the child tell who they want.   That would be horrible for a parent to go around telling people when the child isnt ready to tell them yet.  It is very possible and just tell her to be open to any questions the child may have even though she may not know much about this sexuality.

by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:33 PM
I mean, I guess so. Society makes children think being gay is wrong but sometimes a kid will just know they're different. I assume she's close to going through puberty if she hasn't already and maybe she's curious? Most kids are curious about the opposite sex. Maybe she has no interstate in boys.
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by Silver Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:34 PM
ABSOLUTELY they can know at 11.
by Jennie on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:34 PM
I knew at about 9. I always liked girls but didnt know it wasn't "normal" or what gay was until 9.
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by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:34 PM
Why doesn't she want People to know? Theyre going to find out eventually. She shouldn't make the girl hide it and lie bc she'll just resent her mother later.
She doesn't have to say anything unless the girl needs to talks out it. Just treat her like any other child at this age.

Quoting kasm75:

Wow, that's so young 6? so what does she say to her DD other than she loves her? She doesn't want anyone knowing.

She has a lot of siblings and 2 step parents and she only told my friend and didn't even want friend going to her DH but her DD said she would tell him herself....

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by Platinum Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:34 PM

If it were my daughter, I'd say something like this.  Ok, you could very well be gay.  If you're gay, you're gay.  That's fine, I love you just the same and I'll stand by you through thick and thin just like I would if you were straight.  But just as a head's up, there ARE some kids who go through a phase around your age.  They THINK they're gay but then as they get older, they realize that they were never gay to begin with.  If that happens to you, that's also fine.  The most important part is you finding yourself and being true to yourself.  I love you as long as you do that.

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