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Can a child know they are gay at...

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age 11? A friend of mine came to me and told me her 11 year old DD ( just turned 11) dropped a bomb on her and said she was gay.... can she know at that age,?She hasn't done anything sexually......My friend doesn't know what to say to her DD to reassure that she loves her, doesn't know what questions to ask.....I mean she has reassured her she loves her  but she is just a little shocked and wondering if her DD might just be confused. She asked her DD what she thought it meant and her DD told her exactly what it meant..... but can the child just be confused?


by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:25 PM
Replies (21-30):
whowhat
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:36 PM
Or did you mean the little girl didnt want people to know. In which case never mind. I just read she.

Quoting whowhat:

Why doesn't she want People to know? Theyre going to find out eventually. She shouldn't make the girl hide it and lie bc she'll just resent her mother later.

She doesn't have to say anything unless the girl needs to talks out it. Just treat her like any other child at this age.



Quoting kasm75:

Wow, that's so young 6? so what does she say to her DD other than she loves her? She doesn't want anyone knowing.

She has a lot of siblings and 2 step parents and she only told my friend and didn't even want friend going to her DH but her DD said she would tell him herself....





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kasm75
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:36 PM

Oh her mother isn't at ALL encouraging her not to tell anyone, the DD doesn't want to tell anyone..... friend told her DD that eventually she will need to be open about it but only when the time was right for her.....

Quoting whowhat:

Why doesn't she want People to know? Theyre going to find out eventually. She shouldn't make the girl hide it and lie bc she'll just resent her mother later.
She doesn't have to say anything unless the girl needs to talks out it. Just treat her like any other child at this age.


Quoting kasm75:

Wow, that's so young 6? so what does she say to her DD other than she loves her? She doesn't want anyone knowing.

She has a lot of siblings and 2 step parents and she only told my friend and didn't even want friend going to her DH but her DD said she would tell him herself....



Allebas
by Gold Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:36 PM

I know someone who dated lots of guys in High School and college! She was even engaged to a man for a while! Well------one day, she met some gal who she had feelings for, and that turned out to be her first girlfriend! Up until she met this particular female, she had NO feelings toward women at all! She even walked in on her roommate in bed with another woman! She got really angry at her roommate, grabbed up her sleeping bag and pillow and went and slept in some other dorm for the night! The next day, the other roommate packed up her stuff and moved out! SOOOOO----I think it varies from person to person as to 'how old' they are when they realize they are gay/lesbian.

momto2boys973
by Platinum Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:36 PM
Well, if you're born gay then it's something that's with you since birth, so why not?

Sharon
momswag
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:37 PM
Being gay isn't all about sexual orientation.

It's about who an individual is emotionally, physically and eventually sexually attracted to.

Yes, an 11 year old can be gay. They realize they like girls the way most girls like boys.
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kasm75
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:38 PM

great advice!

Quoting ShadowLark:

If it were my daughter, I'd say something like this.  Ok, you could very well be gay.  If you're gay, you're gay.  That's fine, I love you just the same and I'll stand by you through thick and thin just like I would if you were straight.  But just as a head's up, there ARE some kids who go through a phase around your age.  They THINK they're gay but then as they get older, they realize that they were never gay to begin with.  If that happens to you, that's also fine.  The most important part is you finding yourself and being true to yourself.  I love you as long as you do that.


bebe_ju-rah
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:38 PM
Idk. You always hear people say they knew when they were young. At 10, 11 I had 0 interest in boys. I even had a period in my teens where I wasn't sure if I was a lesbian, bi or straight. I think kids explore and it takes a while to figure it out. I would just make sure my dd knew that it didn't matter either way to me or Daddy and if she ever needs to talk that we are here and open. That's all you can do! :)
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rawrmommysaurus
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:40 PM

If she truly is, yes she could all ready know, and has probably known for some time. 

Not saying that she would do this, but she could be comeing out for attention.  Also she could just be wondering if she really is attracted to the same sex, when in reality she is a hetro, or bi.  

CDMelty
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:40 PM

Virgins can know they are gay the same way virgins can know they are straight. I've never heard of someone who had to go out and have sex with everyone and everything just to know what they were attracted to. If straight people can just know then why couldn't gay people just know, too?  The attraction comes before the sex.

DACIA79
by Silver Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:41 PM
I have a cousin that we knew he was gay when we were 5 it was just something different with how he behaved with the rest of us kids so when he made his announcement no one was shocked

I know at age 8 I had my first boy crush so clearly theres a point when you start to feel different because I've never been attracted to a girl.
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