Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

Can a child know they are gay at...

Posted by   + Show Post

age 11? A friend of mine came to me and told me her 11 year old DD ( just turned 11) dropped a bomb on her and said she was gay.... can she know at that age,?She hasn't done anything sexually......My friend doesn't know what to say to her DD to reassure that she loves her, doesn't know what questions to ask.....I mean she has reassured her she loves her  but she is just a little shocked and wondering if her DD might just be confused. She asked her DD what she thought it meant and her DD told her exactly what it meant..... but can the child just be confused?


by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:25 PM
Replies (31-40):
kasm75
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:42 PM

That's true....

Quoting CDMelty:

Virgins can know they are gay the same way virgins can know they are straight. I've never heard of someone who had to go out and have sex with everyone and everything just to know what they were attracted to. If straight people can just know then why couldn't gay people just know, too?  The attraction comes before the sex.


squeakers2
by Silver Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:44 PM
1 mom liked this
Yes, they can know at that age and younger. Tell your friend to try not to act any differently towards her daughter. Just bc she shared this with her, doesn't mean she's not still her child. Obviously, her child was loved enough beforehand to tell her. She is still the same child she was before. That didn't change. Also, she obviously knows she needs to tell people eventually, or else she wouldn't have told her mom. However, just bc she has told one person, doesn't mean she needs to scream it from the rooftops.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
kasm75
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:52 PM
Im so afraid and the judgment people will definitely have on her child
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
kasm75
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:53 PM
Ugh that was meant to say afraid for friend
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
1ontheway12
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 9:46 PM
i knew at 7 that i like girls i didnt know what it meant and i didnt know why but i knew i did so i believe yes she can know
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
momtoBrenna
by Silver Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 9:47 PM
She can absolutely know at age 11 and even younger who she finds attractive.
FoxFire363
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 10:56 PM

Lol, yes you can know you are gay at 11. I know a guy who has known he was gay since he was 4. I knew I liked women from about age 7, and what that meant from age 12. 

LiliMama18
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 11:54 PM
I personally believe that there is no such thing as gay straight or bi and that human sexuality is like a scale with 1 being exclusively attracted to opposite sex and 10 being exclusively to same sex.
I think there are very few "1"s and "10"s out there and that many fall into the 2-3 area or 8-9 area.
So in other words- she could just have some homosexual attractions right now and they could increase over time - or decrease. She's figuring it all out in a world that needs to polarize sexuality.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
inspain
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 12:08 AM

Yeah, sure.  They have crushes way before then.  I figure even the dumbest 11 year old can suss out what it might mean if they keep crushing on kids of the same sex.  This isn't rocket science.  

And, no, it's not likely at all that the kid is confused.  Poor mom might be, but she needs to get it together and be there when/if the kid says it again.

Kmakksmom
by Stefanie on Oct. 4, 2012 at 12:09 AM

Absolutely.  My BFF knew he was gay when he was 8. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN